People often ask me what love is
And I seriously don't know what it means
All I can think about is you
Your eyes, those brown eyes
Those eyes which saw me naked
You saw every scar on my body
Yet the only thing you said was
“You are beautiful”
Love, I am not beautiful
Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds
Doesn't mean beautiful
I am not an art
Yet your lips kissed me
The way the sun kissed my skin every morning
Without a fail, without any doubt
You smiled.
And the only words that came to my mind was
"****, this is trouble"
My love, your words hold me like a hostage
Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.
A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.
I knew that this love
Our love would last a lifetime
Or so I thought
We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions
Maybe if it wasn't for distance
We would be still together, we could have worked it out
But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make
We will still come to an end
Confused about the future
Insecure about other people
Hating each other
You, giving up
And me, craving for more
Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest
I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me
But every time I would ask about it
You always said
"You deserve so much more"
You were once my everything
My other half
My partner in crime
You were someone so freaking important to me
You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating
I fell so hard for you
And guess what happened?
Love, I am broken
How many days, months, years
For me, to forget
That once upon a time
You were here
I was there
Hands holding tighter
Eyes locked to each other
Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner
How much would it cost?
For the pain to stop
For the memories to abandon
For the feelings to fade
My love, I did not expect any of this
I didn't know that love can be deadly
A love that can force someone to commit suicide
That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself
Now, do you think I'm suicidal?
Love, do not be afraid
I'm not going to die
Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself
Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying
I kept on dying anyway
I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me
Because the day, you decided to give up on me
I already gave up on myself.