I hope I die first...
not out of fear,
but to keep you perfect
always near.

Let my soul slip quiet
into the seams of time,
where love can't age
and loss can't climb.

I'll light your nights
with flickers of gold,
staying young
while you grow old.

For death can’t sever
what we began,
I’ll love you forever,
because I can.

I walk through rows of velvet blooms,
Where scent is thick with sweet perfumes,
Each petal holds a whispered thread,
Of love long lost or words once said.

A violet hums that heartfelt song,
Where I believed I could go on,
The lilies sleep in faded white,
For all the dreams that lied each night.

Moonlight bends on marigolds,
Still warm with stories never told.
I press my lips to memory’s stem,
And cry for what I was back then.

The garden grows with every raindrop
A blooming map that never stops.
Forever young, forever torn,
Each flower proof that I was born.

They trace my sorrow in ink and flame,
A needle hums out my hidden shame.
Each line a confession, each color a sin,
Bleeding the hurt from the surface within.
The roses bloom where the bruises fade,
Thorns like the choices I shouldn’t have made.
The serpent coils on a porcelain thigh,
Whispering truths that I swore were a lie.
I trade my ache for the sting of art,
A palette of pain pressed over my heart.
Better the burn than the silence and tears,
I wear my memories where they can’t fade for years.
So darling, just etch me in violet and black;
Each needle a promise I won’t take it back.
For under this canvas of scarlet and grace,
Is a girl who survived by adorning her ache.

Life hums a sorrow, lost deep in the rain,
A whisper that burns in July’s heavy air.
They’ll tailor your heart for a runway of pain,
With cherry-lipped lies and a vacant-eyed stare.

So drink down your sadness, it’s aged and it’s chilled,
A cut-crystal poison, smooth velvet and ice.
They’ll auction your soul for the thrill left unfilled,
Then haunt you with echoes of love’s sacrifice.

They’ll swear that salvation comes cheap by the ounce,
That heartache is fleeting, just part of the fight.
But under the glitter, the dark truths still pounce;
A river of distress that drowns out the light.

They wove my dreams on a ribboned sky,
With threads of love that never die.
Rose-gold whispers, cherry wine air,
Soft as his hands in my tangled hair.
A needle dipped in morning’s blush,
Pulled through the cloth in a lover’s hush.
Silken vows and honeyed grace,
Woven deep in the fabric’s face.
The sweetest dreams are stitched in gold,
In patterns warm and gently bold.
Even the storms have silver seams,
Love lives loud in quiet dreams.
So wrap me up in that living art,
A tapestry sewn from a faithful heart.
Each thread is a promise, soft and true,
A life of love in every hue.

We started as dust on the workshop floor,
Thrown to the wheel, hearts craving more.
Your hands found mine in that restless spin,
Rough and unsure, but we let it begin.
Water and whispers smoothed every line,
Shaping the curves of your soul into mine.
Fired by longing, glazed with regret,
We cracked in the heat but weren’t finished yet.
You kissed the fractures, gold in the seams,
Like Kintsugi lovers restoring our dreams.
Time turned the wheel as we learned to stay
Masterpiece hearts made of delicate clay.
Now we sit hardened but tender and whole,
Fired by passion an unbreakable soul.
In the kiln of infinity, through pleasure and pain,
We’ll spin on that wheel again and again.

The past was riddled with solitude,
I woke up in lace, like an old movie scene.
Now morning hums in a honeyed mood,
Last night you treated me like a queen.

The sky was heavy just before,
in shades of black and blue.
Now the storms don't come anymore,
Since all I see is you.

The night once sang in minor keys,
and every hour felt like pain.
Now even silence seems to please,
As I hear your voice in the rain.

There's color where the gray once stayed,
a bloom where I had only thorns.
The price of love was what I paid,
and in return the world was yours.

Since then I live in softer light,
A dreamscape soaked in vintage hue.
Our romance has set the world alight
What's changed? Babe, just me and you.

You laughed like a secret, sat close like a spell,
But clubs in your grin meant you never thought well.
Said we were soulmates, sisters in crime
But you cracked at the edges
when it wasn’t your time.

Queens don’t trust jokers, I learned this too late
Playing your part and I sealed my fate.
Spades behind backs and diamonds for shine,
You twisted the truth with one scripted line.

So here’s to the fall, to the crash, to the end.
To fake little hearts that pretend to be friends.
I’ll toast to the silence, to truth in the dark
And rebuild my throne from your fake house of cards.

She walked in like a dream, a moonlit glow
Lips pink as a promise I'll never outgrow.
Her eyes are dark and deep in I dive,
She kisses like secrets that I’ll never survive.

"Baby, just love me." she murmured so low,
but love is a fever that burns until it goes.
Fingers like velvet and touches like a crime,
Forever she swore on, then vanished in time.

She whispered my name like a half written wish,
left me with echoes, sadness, perfume, and sin.
Too good to be true and too wild to stay,
she was a fever dream girl fading with the day.

Working so hard towards an unachievable goal
I wonder if I will I ever find a balance
But rest doesn't help when the problem is your soul,
and over-thinking is just your talent.

In a town where gulls call over foam kissed stone,
Where sea salt grief clings to wood and bone,
Stood a hotel twenty three rooms small
A place where secrets crawled the walls.

It’s wallpaper was floral and faded red,
While whispers rose up from the unmade bed.
The year was nineteen forty seven
And she’d never know he was on his way with a vengeance

He wore a hat pulled low to hide
Eyes like storms, deep and wide.
Her name was still a song he wept
A curse he caressed a prayer half said

His love had been a ship at war
Cannons blazing towards the shore,
But her leaving? That was the gale
A wind so cruel it split his sail.

Hatred now was fuel to flame,
Drinking down whiskey
And forgetting his shame.

He climbed the stairs with measured tread
Knowing the ninth room housed her lover’s bed.
Opening the door was like splitting a scar
Inside lingered her perfume, the sounds of light jazz, the scent of cigars.

“Don’t” she cried out, but he did not hear.
The sound of revenge pounding in his ears
He pulled the steel from a coat lined dark
A love burned hand, a flint struck spark.

One shot - like thunder cracked in two,
She fell like a wave the sea once knew
The floorboards wept where she now slept
Where evil came to lay her to rest.

He left her there eyes full of dread
Hate on his lips and blood on the bed.
A man who loved like storms love the coasts
Broken down by revenge is now haunted by her ghost.

The circus came back to town last night,
Red and gold and little bit torn,
Like my heart on my sleeve, a bit weather-worn

I woke up in sequins and static again,
Mascara moons under my eyes, implying my sins.
Everyone claps when I make it look fun,
But no one sticks around when the lights come undone.

I’ve been the sad ******* the tightrope too long
Singing ballads to ghosts, always someone else’s song.
Balancing grief in a pink chiffon slip
Sipping my meds from a flask on my hip.

The elephants cry when they think we don’t see,
Caged in nostalgia just like me.
The trapeze swings, but I stay still
Frozen in mid air with no more will.

And God isn’t that the trick of the act?
To look like you’re flying with chains on your back?
To glitter in gold while you’re silently dying,
Turning breakdowns into something, something worth buying?

Carousel thoughts spin too fast,
A mirrored maze of my shattered past,
The crowd just wants their sweet matinee,
And I’m just the girl out on display.

The spotlight’s warm, but the glow’s all fake,
And I’m tired of bending just so I don’t break.
Call it a show. Call it a phase.
Call it depression in a pink beret.

Whatever it is, it’s mine to bear,
A circus of sorrow spun through the air.
And darling, I’d leave if I only knew how,
But the tent’s in my mind…
And the show’s starting now.