Long neck
Not some beer bottle
But a soft waddle
As his beak
Pecks and plucks
Roots, and grassy stuff
To munch

Black eyes
With a white chin
And a face
That goes
From black
To white
And back again

Feathers folded in
Light brown
Gray and fading
Flutter nervously
When he sees me
Approaching

Beautiful, distracting
Extracting me from my
Deep reflections
And ancient sorrows

I watch web feet
Walk into that small sea
And see a water stream
Follow him
As he swims
Away

Dead heads stare from the wall

one can't tell if their glassy eyes
hold the relics of past life
or the sadness of having lost it
to the fires of royal pastime

tiger eyes look pathetically pleading
for re-stitching the stripes on the bones
leopard head growls only in anguish
of his spots being soft spot for target
the open jaws of the croc
can't still swallow the stuck bullet
awed eyes of deer is yet to sense
the muzzle that ruptured its innocence
the jackals, birds, langurs, civets
all frozen in the suddenness of the ***** out.

The hunter's head peeps from a dusty frame
having got his place of pride
among his game.

This is for the father that does not consider to be a whole in his creations life.
This is for the mother who chooses to 'opt out' of being a giver of love to the fruit of her womb.
This is for the one who has chosen to be an absent parent..

This is for you...

WAKE. the. ****. UP!!

What are you doing?

What is wrong with you?

It seems to me you may not fully understand the ramifications that your chosen absence will play in the life of your child.

So I will spell it out it for you..

Your child, your gift, your delight, the one who was created from your very own dna, the one that you willingly gave life to and brought into this world...

will remember everything you have not done.

And they will carry this as a load upon their back for quite possibly most of their life.

Each will carry it differently, but carry the load they will. Some will carry it with forgiveness, some will carry with resolve, some will carry with the added weight of a heavy heart. Some will carry defiantly and will never truly forgive.

And no matter how they position the weight you give, by choosing to be absent, they will still carry that load...
because of you.

And you will continue to add weight to that load every day you choose to be absent from their life.

Each missed opportunity will be a pound of disappointment that your child will carry... for you.

Each broken promise will be a pebble.
Each late appointment will be a handful of sand.
Each missed birthday will be a tablespoon of gravel
to fill their pockets.

And every achievement they experience, that you have missed, will weigh upon their mind and their heart.

And because of this, throughout their life,
they will continually try to win your love.

You hear that...??
They will try. and. win. your. love...

Because... it is not given freely...
so they will try to win it.!!!
because, bottom line...
let's face it...

you're a selfish ****.

And because of your self centered behaviour, everything that they need, want and have to experience without you will be tainted with your chosen absence.

Every tear and heart break, every grazed knee, bad dream, smile, whisper, secret, colouring on the fridge door, every clay model, every needed word of advice, comfort, support and encouragement, every exam result, every moment of despair, loss, grief and first love...

each and every lost opportunity to say 'i miss you'
each and every unuttered 'i love you'
will be carefully, silently and invisibly weighed,
measured
and carried.

And i promise you this..
the weight you have placed upon them will be keenly felt  
when it is their time to fly.

This is not to say they will not fly, because they will,
and beautifully so..

And with wings that you did not help to fashion.

And, because of your chosen absence, your creation, your child, your very own delight will always carry the weight that you have placed upon them.

And the weight of your absence is so much heavier than you could possibly imagine.

I potted your healing purple verbena
comforting scarlet geranium
never will forget you
pink carnation
the roots were dry
so I added new soil
watered them good
they'll survive

your granddaughter
brought them here
along with "Phil"
the ancient philodendron
he's taken up residence
close to her bed
his elephant ears
spread wide and listening

I thought you would  
be pleased to know
she loaded plants
until the car was full
that she did find
a bit of solace
in the garden
you left behind