I was told to live each and every day as if it was a gift
A gift that cannot be returned or exchanged or replaced
But to enjoy it for all it has to offer
However there are still days where I wake
And want to drown my head in the tears that cover my pillow
Because I am only human
And sometimes the gift of life that were told not take advantage of
Time and time again
*****
It's terrible
Never ending
And leaves us in a mess
So when I turn my head towards the window
After a night of tears and sorrow
Is it so wrong of me to try and return it
Back to the sender
To not accept what has been given to me and instead
Sink myself back into that pillow I've grown to know as home.
A place where I can rest and hide with no fears
Of being found or forced to remain compliant
With the rules and ideals of life
Does it make me an outsider?
Someone who differentiates from the norm
Does this this mean that our society has grown accustomed
To a type of performance
One where we are all the actors and each day is just a new act
A new production
Where our body language is thrown out the door
Our inner feelings and thoughts are to be suppressed
Unless they make others feel comfortable around us
Since when is a smile not a smile any longer
And instead a show that is put on by others to hide what's really happening
Or to shelter how we are truly feeling
What makes it so wrong that a grown man can't cry
Without the risk of being told to "Man Up"
Last time I checked
All the great men in my life have shown emotion
And to those who help push this idea
The ones who etch these thoughts and opinions
Into the stone that is society
Stop and look at yourself
Take the time and think
I can guarantee there's been times in your life
Times that you've felt something deeper
A strong emotion that can not be contained
Constantly rattling the cage that is our bodies
Begging to be let out into the world
Or maybe I'm wrong
Maybe you feel nothing
Left numb to the thoughts of others
Thinking that if one can not contain what's inside them
Then they must learn how to conceal it
Lock the door that is their heart and mind
Leaving them bottled up
Until there is no life
Left to wither and die in the cage that contains them
Until eventually we are all left the same
However I don't agree with this view on life
If we feel something we should express it
If we want something then strive for it
Who are we to feel left alone in a world full of people
We are all different for a reason
We all find each other for a reason
Expression is what divides us
Expression is what unites us
Our only job is to never let it go
Never let someone take that from us
So on the days that death feels imminent
When all you want is to hide away
Don't
Instead use your dreams and aspirations
Pretend nothing is in your way
The problems of the present
Always become the past
And like the tears that soaked my pillow
Your problems will disappear through time
For if we let one gift of life pass us by
We could be missing out on a whole miracle or tragedy
Just waiting to happen
Originally I wrote this as free form that I would say out loud, however I have gone back over it now and made some changes that should allow the reader to open their mind a bit more without having to listen to my voice.