Sore shoulders
Bruised back
Letting go
Can't react

Pit in the stomach
Remains of the past
Body aching
Will it last

Walking forever
Stride by stride
Smiles fade
Hope has died

Mind loses temperament
Thoughts grow weak
Promises fade
Whispers of deceit

Eyes fall shut
Visions grow weary
Speech falls away
Who's left to hear me

Suffocation sets
Consumed by fear
Dreams of light
The path is clear

Sinking in dirt
Engulfed by life
Stones disappear
Ridden with strife

Paths fall short
Beneath a seam
Fading away
Remnants to a dream

Steps fade
Left alone
One purpose
A stepping stone

I was told to live each and every day as if it was a gift
A gift that cannot be returned or exchanged or replaced
But to enjoy it for all it has to offer
However there are still days where I wake
And want to drown my head in the tears that cover my pillow
Because I am only human
And sometimes the gift of life that were told not take advantage of
Time and time again
*****
It's terrible
Never ending
And leaves us in a mess
So when I turn my head towards the window
After a night of tears and sorrow
Is it so wrong of me to try and return it
Back to the sender
To not accept what has been given to me and instead
Sink myself back into that pillow I've grown to know as home.
A place where I can rest and hide with no fears
Of being found or forced to remain compliant
With the rules and ideals of life
Does it make me an outsider?
Someone who differentiates from the norm
Does this this mean that our society has grown accustomed
To a type of performance
One where we are all the actors and each day is just a new act
A new production
Where our body language is thrown out the door
Our inner feelings and thoughts are to be suppressed
Unless they make others feel comfortable around us
Since when is a smile not a smile any longer
And instead a show that is put on by others to hide what's really happening
Or to shelter how we are truly feeling
What makes it so wrong that a grown man can't cry
Without the risk of being told to "Man Up"
Last time I checked
All the great men in my life have shown emotion
And to those who help push this idea
The ones who etch these thoughts and opinions
Into the stone that is society
Stop and look at yourself
Take the time and think
I can guarantee there's been times in your life
Times that you've felt something deeper
A strong emotion that can not be contained
Constantly rattling the cage that is our bodies
Begging to be let out into the world
Or maybe I'm wrong
Maybe you feel nothing
Left numb to the thoughts of others
Thinking that if one can not contain what's inside them
Then they must learn how to conceal it
Lock the door that is their heart and mind
Leaving them bottled up
Until there is no life
Left to wither and die in the cage that contains them
Until eventually we are all left the same
However I don't agree with this view on life
If we feel something we should express it
If we want something then strive for it
Who are we to feel left alone in a world full of people
We are all different for a reason
We all find each other for a reason
Expression is what divides us
Expression is what unites us
Our only job is to never let it go
Never let someone take that from us
So on the days that death feels imminent
When all you want is to hide away
Don't
Instead use your dreams and aspirations
Pretend nothing is in your way
The problems of the present
Always become the past
And like the tears that soaked my pillow
Your problems will disappear through time
For if we let one gift of life pass us by
We could be missing out on a whole miracle or tragedy
Just waiting to happen

I'm going to ask a question
There is no right answer, nor is there a wrong
But people seem to believe there is
As one is written in every new song

If I asked you about love
Not to describe it but to explain
Would you be able to answer
Put aside the social strain

You say "Well we've wrote about it before"
It's in our culture and in our books
But unless Twilight counts as proof
You may have to give it a few more looks

Oh so it's a part of history
From Othello or Macbeth
It's funny how you mention that
As both these plays end in death

Maybe it's not something that's learned
Instead it's an emotion we are meant to feel
But if we can compare it to other sensations
Is there really one that's so unreal?

Now I'm not doubting the facts, no
Actually I feel we may be getting quite near
After all a common observation
Is that it closely resembles fear

Its not your safety you are scared for
Nor the increased rate in your heart
You want to avoid the feeling of loss
That can tear your frame apart

There's no way that can be love
Well who are we to judge
It's not as if its something so obvious
There's no one there to offer a nudge

So maybe that means our interpretation
Isn't really the problem
It's instead an act of expectancy
That's turned into quite a conundrum

We have fairy tails with princesses
And stories with honourable knights
All leading to a grand happy ending
While the minds of children turn on like lights

Here is where our first glance with love
Finally comes to exist
We grow up with these expectations
And then get flustered when they're missed

Instead of loving someone for who they are
We begin to pick and tear apart
We get lost within our childhood tales
Left with no idea where to start

I was once told that to love someone
Is to love them beyond compare
So when they are free and no longer yours
The love will still be there

Now again I'll ask the question
Take your time and don't be afraid
Can you explain to me what love is
Or has your decision really been made

There are stories with names
That all go unheard
In a world of social conflict
Not knowing what happens seems absurd

There's a girl that lies awake
Unable to fall asleep in her own bed
Her memories like scars
That tear apart her head

This wasn't how it started
It's not always been this way
But sometimes things happen
And you're forced to have to stay

She is blind to it at first
Constantly tells herself a lie
But its hard to hide from the truth
In reality she shouldn't have to cry

The punches start as just punches
But the bruises slowly mean more
With one hit after another
She grows terrified of her own door

He's constantly on her mind
Not out of love but out of fear
She never feels truly safe
Always worried he'll be near

It's not only the hands that grab her
Or the black and blue marks that cover her skin
His words eat away at her very soul
Destroying her from within

She's forced to the floor day and night
Too exhausted to even stand
Living out of fear of asking for help
No one will ever lend a hand

It's as if she'll be trapped forever
Forced to live alone for all her life
With a man she used to love so dear
But now fills her heart with strife

She's been broken and beaten
Years of pain spill over her face
So how she decided to leave it all
Is tragic but part of her case

With no signs of help and a life of loss
She ran out of places to run
And in looking for a last ditch effort
Stumbled upon her husbands gun

Now these stories still remain unheard
But Everyone deserves to know
It shouldn't have to end this way
We all need somewhere to go

What do you do?
When the fire fades
And you’re left with ashes
When the sun goes down
And you're left with cold
What do you do?

When each day's a task
That just gets harder
And forgetting to live
Becomes easier
What do you do?

When nothing goes right
But everything goes wrong
When you're left alone
And consumed by thought
What do you do?

When running seems best
But fear overtakes you
When giving in is a choice
But you're not prepared
What do you do?

When you want out
Exhausted with life
Each breath takes effort
And you're losing the fight
What do you do?

When you cry at night
Until there's nothing left
Laying awake and saying a prayer
That you'll never wake up
What do you do?

When you have a plan
An escape from here
But consequences
That must follow
What do you do?

When your mind hates itself
And takes it out on you
What can you do...

Sobriety is what keeps me tethered
That which forces to remember
Lost causes covered in failed attempts
At this life, at my life
While inhaling to forget
High above reality
Living each day by a dime
Until life is but a suggestion
And I'm back to where I started