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Antonia 2d
I can’t finish a thought
but my thoughts will be the end of me..
Antonia 6d
day after day
time passing through,

thought after thought
they're all about you.

Mr. permanent resident
inside my head

I built you a castle,
made you a bed
and each night
I watch you
laying your head
on or memories and you cover yourself
with my love
Antonia Sep 9
walking down the road
steps on crunchy leaves

looking up and down
humming to myself

feel the chilly breeze
smell the autumn air

taking it all in
each step, each leaf, each day
before you realise

another seasons passed,
and it’s already May
what a great challenge it is, to remain present..
Antonia Sep 9
I’m feeling heavier than iron
my chest, my arms, my legs
feel numb
it feels impossible to breathe
like i am deep under the water

and i could hear my body sinking
the lungs,
now slowly filling up with liquid

no hope.

just death in sight

my tongue is stuck,
my hands are tight,
i feel the weight
of my mistakes

i  just so desperately want
to get some air and breathe again

but not this time,
my demon says

as I am drowning
once again
this is how a panic attack feels for me, haven’t had one in a while, but it used to be the norm when I was younger. If you’re going through tough times, just know they never last. I am doing much better now, and hopefully you can take this as a message of hope. Things do get better, just hang in there, stop running from your feelings, the only way out, is through.
  Sep 7 Antonia
rk
you left
and suddenly i realised
why we started naming storms
after people.
- i wonder if the scent of thunder meeting earth haunts your memories.
Antonia Sep 6
awareness or
the lack thereof
there is a self,
regardless of
the stupid things
you wish to be
and all those masks you hide behind

a sens of self
is all there is
it’s not a gift
that you receive
it’s that,
the only thing there
is

that’s all you got
that’s all you are
enjoy and swim in it
till dawn

it’s more than life,
it’s cheating death
it simply is,

the sense of self.
Antonia Sep 5
staring at myself
and for the first time in
years
i see her
light, the joy, the spark
she’s back
ready to embrace it all again
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