I want all of the love back
When you're so obsessed about me and promised we'll make it work
That was then and this is now and while
You're moving on I'm breaking down

I would do anything for you but you went up and said goodbye
I would've walked through hell just to find another way
I would've stood my ground
If I knew that you would stay

You don't want me
Nothing I can do now
You don't want to try anymore

Unloving you is so hard to do
It's like fighting a god

Can you hear me?
Stuck in your little head
Cant get out and wants you dead
This voices helps you ease your pain
But all they do is make your pain insane
Word by word it cuts you deep
And think for a second that all their words are real
You sit in a corner to prove they're wrong
But then you can't because you're dead inside all along

I want to go outside
But the look of the wind outside felt hard
I want to go far away
To anywhere you want

But I rather watch Peter Pan
Because I really need the distraction

I really need the distraction

Is Peter Pan on?
Because I could really use some distraction

Because sometimes, It scares me how much I think about going for a walk.

You were my oxygen and now It's hard to breathe

A man wakes up get up and get dressed

To go outside is what this man had in mind

To see all the beauty this world come around

To pursue a dream to see all beauty in this world

But then he wakes up realizing it was all a dream
He cant get up stand up and get dressed
Because he already saw what the world is
It's cruel violent forgetful and full of greed
No motivation to move around
No motivation to go outside
He does not care about himself anymore
He cried inside
For he thinks there's no hope anymore

Because to get up stand up and get dressed
Is the most difficult thing to do

My spirit is disturbed by you
Because you treated it so well
So throw me a lifeline
Is it all sci-fi to you?

Gorgeous like cypress
How do I serve you
I’m under your spell
Be my devotion

Waiting for an omen
Drowning in an ocean
Floating to the moment

Everything is the same
They say tomorrow is another day
But tomorrow is just an ordinary day

They say life is a wheel
There's always up and downs
It makes me sad because a wheel is a repeating pattern
A pattern you cant remove

Except when it explodes
And cant function anymore

A wheel of life is all i see
Everything around me is a wheel
That still rolling

And it seems that i am one of them
And i hate to see me
Being one with society

Wondering why my life is so boring
Even though i am capable of doing everything
I can learn languages, learn how to play the guitar
Make friends with a lot of people and even make a book

But i won't
Because i am unmotivated to make my life better
Because i have lost all hope to do things better
Because i don't really care about myself

And i hope that i can get rid of it
Just like everyone else

When the television dies
He cries
For no one is talking anymore

His sanity is slowly becoming sand
From the ocean full of wonders

Slowly drying up the tears
He awoke to the sound of endless rings

The petrichor scent
Reminds him of the past that he’s life is a lie

Because all of his friends are dead
When the television dies

There's no way you'll stay with a boy like me
Got no car and the same white tee
Stare all night long, and BPD

You can't make it work with a guy like me
Got no style and it's all IT
I wake up from my dreams and I fall asleep

Wish you could be with a tool like me
Rolled NAT 1 on D&D
"He acts like that it's so scary"

No way you'll love a guy like me
Sad best friends and no ID
I don't know why but I can't wait and see


There's no way you'll stay with a boy like me

Me and My Friends
Are not the type who ignore the smallest problems
Hidden in the world of fools
We hide our emotions but we all feel the same thing that one of us has a problem that no single person can resolve we cant let them out because we know it might broke us or sometimes everyone around us we spent our time chasing our desires but always end up in the same direction

Me and My Friends
we’re not the type of people to leave the room
because in this new age we know that all of us are connected even though we're all apart

Me and My Friends
We never get in trouble
But we are a troubled bunch

Fly away now little bird you're free.

Be one with the wind and find a nice tree.

I hope you find someone and treats you like me.


I may be gone but i still care.

I hope no one hurts you while you're there.

If you need me i'll be here.

Waiting and thinking you're still here.

You wanted light
To all of this darkness

You wanted hope
To all of this hopelessness

You wanted to be saved
But no one is saving

You wanted you
But you are fading

Waking up in the noon
With a ***** in my hand
First words that comes into my mouth
Is about how my life's been a drag

Everyone hates themselves
But i feel like i hated myself long enough to be hollow
I don't care anymore
I give up on the things that i love

I hate being pathetic
But being pathetic is all i have got
What did i do to deserve this
Did i did something wrong

I don't know anymore
I don't
Feel like opening my eyes anymore

Because waking up
Just hurts

Seeing you was so bittersweet I almost died
My heart skipped and It kept screaming, why?
I almost thought that I could change the past
I almost, but that would never really last

Whatever you wanted
Forever wanting
I hope you notice and could come around

Silence keeps me frozen
We didn't make a sound
So I hope you notice

I still can't find out
Replaying those few days over
Hoping I figure it out

I might act distant, but I swear that it's not over
Thinking about you all the time
But I need to know
Do you still care if I'm still breathing?


Am I insane
For thinking, we could've made it?
I think we could've made it

Love is a drug and I'm all out

Fill up the dosage put it on high
**** me up and let someone take me to the hospital

Love is gonna make you high

Be careful not to get too high

Because the fall

Is gonna hurt a lot.

Bubbie you don’t understand
I don’t want my world to end
I spend all my serotonin on you
This past few months I keep pretending
That I’m serenading you

Say whatever you want to say but my breakdowns keep holding me from saying the truth

I did everything again just to ****** it up again
I spend all my serotonin on you
I have to use substance so that i can keep imagining me and you

Please sit down, you don’t understand
I spend all my serotonin on you
You’re trying to forget about me
I’m trying to keep you in my head

I did everything I can but somehow I ****** it up again
I spend all my serotonin on you

I’m tired of playing pretend
I want to see your smile again
And now I can’t get a word in
So please understand
I want to do everything I can
I spend all of my serotonin on you

She said I like you can you come through?
I don't want to feel that way can you pass through
Waist pressed on you while the night is alive
Thinking of ******* you in the bedroom
falling from you in a vacuum

found you online
we had fun times
crossing your mind
call me next time

loving
caring

Focus is lost
Blurring on these emotions
Think of me when you shut down

If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial
Got no place to call home
I feel foreign in my own mind
I'm tired of living like this
Everything is hardly mine
Dreams getting smaller
The blue is getting stained
Even when I rearranged it
My name doesn't even make sense
I can't do this anymore
All things weigh me down
If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial

I'm not stuck, I'm just tired
Even familiar places are getting foreign

I know I don't belong
I'm better when gone

I'll be missing you for a lifetime
but 12 months is better than none

I swore to god I'll never beg and cry
I can't see how it's anything more than a lie

And I'll be here
I won't let them all go

I'll get on fine
I've always found it easy
to hide these thoughts of mine

We both hurt
But time heals nothing at all

Selective amnesia
To keep you away from me

I'll be missing you for a lifetime

I like the way you draw

Every stroke into those sketches

As if the passion inside of you

Could never been so deep

I like the way you paint

As your hand dances and stretches

With every touch of color

The world will ever need

I adore you

I look good at making bad decisions
Afraid of incarceration
Never gotten permission
High on the pain
Dance in the rain
Get me away
We’re not the same
I’m all out of something to say
Anymore

I'd be lying if I say that I don't want you
I missed you dearly
But you left me
Now I'm so uneasy

Clearly

You didn't want me back
Now I'm wandering the halls picking up the pieces, no clap back

Come back
That's all I ever needed
But I know it won't be the same
But at least there's still the pieces

I'm sick of the pleases and excuses
I don't even know what I did to even feel this

Baby I keep looking at the creases for mistakes
Only thing I ever wanted was your grace

It's all over now
It's all over now
It's all over now

Let the credits die.

I'd rather be lonely than be by myself
I hate my room
I already put my pride on the shelf
Because I don't need help from anyone else
Everyone knows I've been feeling so low
I'm still out of character
"Reckless kid"
Now I'm a lost cause and truth be told
I lie too much to everyone, my bad
Do I even have to start working on it?

I thought I'd die young
All the things I liked failed me
I'll go to hell, I don't even care
I'm staring at a screen where no one stares
I wanna rip out all my insides
Feel every fiber
I don't know how to be myself
I know that it's all costumes
Funny dances that play in my mind
I won't hold on to something familiar
They keep letting me down
I'm just gonna acknowledge the gifts from my past


Until I run out of time

Burn my lungs with your existence
Throw me like your whole world is a garbage
Feel me like you are breathing the ashes

I'm destructive and dangerous
But you still want me toying with you
It's moronic that i know it

But did nothing to prevent it
You know that i am pathetic
But why in the hell you are still enduring it

So i am running to the finish line and hopefully will end it

Wind blows, air breeze
Big change, The sky changed
Big blue into small grey
Everything turned into a speck
In a blink of an eye
No one even wonders why
Leave me there
Nurturing
And let me die here

You're lonely and it's sad
I went for you now you're glad
We're both happy and alive

Days pass and here we now
Got your new friends to talk too now.
You're happy and alive


But what do i do now.

I think I'm out of luck
They left I'm so shaken up
Indecisions embracing
Incisions embroidered
So undecided
Is that how I walk?
I think I've lost myself
Went on a separate way
Feelings were never the same
I held onto you
With nothing to prove
nothing to prove
We held on longer
but now you're out of reach
said you'll hold on
but is it necessary to let go of me?
all the time I left wasted
how can I regret it?


this endless sea


The season continues
and it's hard to grieve
When the night comes fast
and I keep looking at strangers
I don't know how to cope
Close your eyes and pretend it's them
It's a lost cause
I wanted you to know
There's nothing to prove
But I keep on changing
I had a choice and I put a tie on it
Still feeling I'm still waiting
Hold that regretting

this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea

This thing is a no hope, close case, long road, and I'm pretty sure things have changed
Started getting that feeling that the time got stabbed and everything is bleeding out
Watched the color turn into yellow morphing into black and grey
The light's leaking
It's confusing how I see it now, can't afford to waste anymore because Every step gone forth is always a step back
and you can see it on my face
Do I still hold for longer?
It's not fair when you're out of reach, said you'll hold on
but is it necessary to let go of me?
all the time I left wasted

how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?

Changing something that everlasting
Is stupidity.

It's like changing a sand with a new sand.
But it's still there underneath the ground.

Changing something you like with a different brain
and different skin.

But what you like about me
Is still there with him.

An upgraded version of myself that i can't do.
All i can do is look at him

And think what the **** am i going to do.