In the table taking big shots
Making my eyes get blurry so I can't see
Making it more seems I don't wanna be alive
There's a hole in my being and you keep putting your hand in
Testing the waters like we always did

Is this the part where we hit up?
Always spend it on a *** talk
I don't wanna talk with a feeling
I don't wanna sit with my feelings

Come right at me and I can tell where this is headed
I wake up with you and I know where it'll end up
I don't need you like I did every winter
Always taking me way too long to recover
You keep remembering my hands around your neck
And I keep replaying it in my head

Your smell made me weak in the knees
If I keep thinking it's a game maybe I'll figure it out
Now the ringing is too loud

So **** that
This isn't an attachment
It's a trauma response
They said I need a therapist
Making up for the past again, and again, and again

I'll be honest, seeing you is a contest
And I don't wanna do it anymore

Crying my eyes out
And you keep showing me you're an empath
I'm sorry if I didn't like that

You're lonely and it's sad
I went for you now you're glad
We're both happy and alive

Days pass and here we now
Got your new friends to talk too now.
You're happy and alive


But what do i do now.

I want to leave
I want to get out

I want to create a rocket
Fly away into this prison

Find my own Planet
Name it as my own

I want to leave
I want to cry

I want to be happy
I want to be alive

Changing something that everlasting
Is stupidity.

It's like changing a sand with a new sand.
But it's still there underneath the ground.

Changing something you like with a different brain
and different skin.

But what you like about me
Is still there with him.

An upgraded version of myself that i can't do.
All i can do is look at him

And think what the **** am i going to do.

You're always on my mind
Didn't got a chance to speak my mind

You told me It'll past
But it's already Nov 12th

Should I give it all up?

I can't hold on any longer
I ruined my head figuring out

Should I give it all up?

Please hold me for a moment
But you left wide open
Still I'm one call away

Should i give it all up?

The pain
Pain
Pains
The big pain
I'm in pain
I don't know what it is but it's pain
I can feel it
Coursing through my veins
Pain
It hurts
I can feel it
Should i love it?
Accept it?
The pain
What do i gain?
More pain?
I don't care.
There's always pain
Forever till the end.

I miss you
But i should just fall asleep

I wanna talk to you
But i should just fall asleep

I wanna see you
But i should just fall asleep

I want someone to touch me
But i should just fall asleep

I want someone to make me feel something
But i should just fall asleep

I think i should just fall asleep
But i want someone to love me

Another day, another week, another year
I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
I stay inside so I can hide

Keep suppressing depression
I don’t want to see my reflection
I run to hide from the pressure
A temporary surrender

I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
Think I just need some rest

Don’t need no friend to depend on
Don’t want nobody to check on
Just me and my depression

Lately my heart feels hollow
Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow
Until then I’ll wallow

Another day, Another week, Another year

I think it's time I had a reset
It wasn't something I didn't foresee yet
Deep breath, reset.

It really hurts to play the part
I kept on running from the past you
I guess I didn't really have too
And I miss the clouds up high

Skyscrapers I am running
And I miss the sounds of the night

Saying that I could be something to you
or maybe I'll be nothing
I've nothing to prove

It all hurts the same way

Hey Mom, I fell in love with a girl over the internet and I punch myself after she broke up with me gonna hang up because I'm getting late, to face the world that hates me.

No news is good news I swear
Can you tell that I'm a ******* from over there?
I'm broke and my shoes don't have any soles

but I'm over it

Everyone's falling in love and I'm at home getting high
20 something I'm still waiting for luck
Kinda wish something happen

but I'm so over it

Sorry for venting, I just can't wait for the ending
I hate to complain, putting it all on display
Yeah, my bed is still on the floor

but I'm really over it

I experienced all of you just to prove something
I think I'm still fast enough to fly away from here
Still gotta make a decision

I took half and watched me watch you
City lights lay out before us
Your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

Now I stay out drinking late
See more of my friends than you
I keep questioning why I stopped

i've lived
in a short time
all of it
for a moment
i am
but i am

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

i have no more direction
**** all these perfections
i have no more direction
and i'm so ******* scared

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

go pull up stare at the scene

I have been thinking too much
Sick of being worthless
Feels like I'm a fake
Am I not doing enough?
If wishing is real I wish for me to be brand new
To be finally someone that you wanted
Or maybe I can still save this
no.
Heart beats fast
Panic sets in
Chasing shadows
I'm not gonna last
Maybe I'm hopeless
Losing my life
Floating
Going through motions

Sorry sir am I too late?
I don't wanna talk about how
My vision is blurry and dark now
Voices are louder in my head
Sabotaging all my thoughts
I gotta wake up from this nightmare
Do I even really try?

You took me out to a bar outside
Where did you go again?
I let you go to your new boyfriend, I hope you think of me

You're in the back of the room leaning on his shoulder
Reminds me of what we did before
Like we used to so long ago

Do you still know the smell of my cologne?
Beneath the pillows that we slept on
I think he's still figuring out how to turn you on.


You know it's true

He doesn't know you like I do
He is the rain but we dance all night in the rain and smile alongside you
He couldn't love you like I do

So if you think he's your home

Call me a homewrecker

Tell me how many times I made you dizzy
Tell me you're better off and say that you miss me

But tell me all about the times he kiss and *******
So that I can distance myself again

you've been stagnating
pyramid slowly getting covered by the sand
When?
Where?
Why?
small increments
a bump on a line
a beat
forever there
slowly moving in a place not moving
stuck