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 May 2018 Charlie Black
Bec
The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.
 May 2018 Charlie Black
EBTI
Depression shall not get the best of you
Between all of the colors, you chose blue
Tell me what makes you happy if I couldn’t do
All of the books and paper, i wish I could listen to you
You are cutting your wings and I am gluing  them on
With me or with out me, you are going to be strong
If my poems and I didn’t stand tall
We’ll fall with you but, surely later we will catch on
We will crush all of your sad feelings,
We will crush them all
Only sunshine baby, even if your sky was blue
And I am here for you!
 May 2018 Charlie Black
Em
I present myself "promiscuously" when i feel like my body isn't my body

When the predatory shadows swallow up my mind and convince me that my body belongs to anyone but myself

So i post that "revealing" photo, i send that ****, I go out wearing as little as i can possibly get away with

I do this as an attempt to take back my body
to look years of trauma dead in the eyes and say "*******"

i own this body; this body is my own.
 May 2018 Charlie Black
Ciel Noir
I know you think about it
Every day
I wish that I could chase your
Demons away
But who would I be
Enamored of?
Your shadow is
The one I love

The things you try to  
Sublimate
I find very easy
To relate
Your shadow self
Has such a hold
Over your heart
And both our souls
How can you love someone like me
Can you show me how you do it
So we can both be on the same page
I'm sorry that I am the way I am
I'm sorry that you happened to fall in love with me
because now you can't stop
and it makes me feel horrible
because in my eyes
you fell in love with the wrong person
But I certainly didn't
I wish I wasn't a broken soul
I wish I can give you
all of me
but all I can give you is what I have left
I can only give you me
in pieces
the rest was left in the past and stolen by people
that were broken too
and needed to fill in their cracks and holes
I came to you because I knew you can make me whole
because even if I'm not complete
your the only thing that makes me feel like I am
You make me happy
to the point I forgot the feeling
of wanting to die
But a tsunami of feeling crash on me
when you call my name
I can't help to smile
and want to run to you
but at the same time
my heart breaks
because I know I'm not right for you
You deserve someone who
can give you all of them
not like me where
I can only give you me
in pieces


I'm sorry that I am broken
My home feels like an abandon house
When I come home I feel so alone
even though there's people here
it feels like there's nobody
They destroyed me
I never knew why
But why me ?
Its been going on for so long
So I just got use to it
I welcomed myself home
To this destruction

They continued to tear me down
They beat the mindset of deserving it into me
So I thought there was something wrong with me

If they hurt me
]Why shouldn't I hurt myself
If nobody loves me
I shouldn't love myself

The darkness was my home
Throwing up was my sister
Negativity was my brother
Depression were my parents
The blade was my best friend
They were always there for me
People knew they were there for me
because it left its bandages on my body

People usually ask me
"why or did it hurt or what even brought you to that point?"

I just shrug my shoulders and said " I'm numb to pain, I'm numb to hurt. Its all I've ever been use to. When you've been hurt for so long....nothing hurts you"
 May 2018 Charlie Black
Rahama
...
     "This isn't who you are."

    "You're not the girl I used to know."

   "I don't know who you've become."

He repeats these lines
So much these days
It annoys me more than
A broken record ever could
Ever should
Ever would
Cause I told him
I warned him thoroughly

     "I'm not nice."

    "You won't like the real me."

   "I'm not worth fighting for."

But he didn't listen
He filled my head with empty
Promises that he meant
He filled my heart with hollow
Vows that he could never fulfill

     "How can a person be so cold?"

    "How can a lady be so cruel?"

   "How can you change so fast?"

He looks hurt and
I hurt a little
But I shut down
Cause that's what I always do

     "I'm nefarious, lover."

    "Had my heart broken a few times."

   "Now it's made of stone."
I hope Nefarious Breed finds this.♥♥♥
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