Maybe I don’t have a purpose.
Nothing bad has happened to me.
I’ve worked hard for everything I have now.
Maybe that’s to fix the dreams of the little girl,
Who had everything taken away from her.
Her room, her possessions, her ability to trust.
Nothing but broken promises.
Filling up her bubble of hope too many times.
If I had purpose, would I be able to expect my expectations?
I see nothing but disappointment in every human.
Is this real?
If I had purpose,
Maybe I would be fulfilled.
Maybe if I had purpose,
I would be well loved.
If I have purpose,
Maybe I would enjoy the world.
If I had purpose,
I would have company.
If I had purpose.

i howled at the moon from a rooftop
with a cigarette and no shirt
the neighbors called me mad
but i was just
finally hearing god.

I was just never fully taken into consideration.
I was just used-or so I felt.
I was just a middle ground.
A rebound before he got serious again.
I don’t matter.
I didn’t matter.
I—
I thought he was the greatest.
He’s just an *******.
I guess.