When the need to love overtakes,
the love to need,
This world has become a place,
that I want to live in.

Many moons ago
I hath locked aroint my love and emotions,
in the depth of my being.
Perchance on the morrow there would dawn a solution,
a solution to this heavy some woe I hold.
Alas,
to no prevail,
I was lost.
My will doth decide to become my foe.
Until thee came wither withal the answer.
Thou held the key,
the key to my heart

On the same island but in a completely different world;
Where the ocean is your own;
Where the snapping of cameras, and the shouts of "Oh look a turtle"
Are non-existent.

A family has been our friends for years,
a beach house they were letting us use,
just one week twice in the year,
Since a child I played through the years,
The old house close to shore.

Tutu came to enjoy Halloween with us,
And on my birthday we built tiny Hawaiian style leaf huts;
So many memories in this lovely place,
I always smile when I hear the name.

My sister's Halloween birthday;
a spooky event that we all look forward to;
hanging black bats,
orange and black banners stream beautifully through the air,
a moldy old witch's broom lay in the corner of the room.
school friends, brothers of sisters, parents, animals,
they all gather and enjoy this Halloween with us.

costume contests are never dull,
and when we all get into it,
we don’t care who the winner is.

Foggy gray smoke rises as we prep the smoldering coals,
Mom, tutu, and the girls get fluffy marshmallows,
chocolate, and gram crackers.

Boys are now men as they tirelessly shovel sand
and haul chairs for the fire,
just like old Hawaiians we sat, ate, danced to music,
and laughed the night away.

When the moon set, and the period of twilight was upon us;
It was prank warfare for the boys,
and though our army was weaker,
less in number, less intelligent, and had less to work with,
We would emerge victorious, even if the girls dominated the night,
with whip cream, and smoke bombs,
we took the back the morning with
jump scares, and frozen clothes
...
After that,we inevitably lost.

The beach,
so beautiful with its silvery blue waves,
dad says
"eh bradas, why you not in da ocean, riding the waves"
and we all dash to the shore sand flying on the people running behind us,
until I hear a shrill shriek behind us,
"da man-o-wars brah, de got my sista"
the almost clear blue bubble with a royal blue tail spanning 3 feet long,
it wrapped around her leg,
scrambled, like the golden brown egg I had that morning,
that was the only way I could describe how quickly
I ran the pull that sucker off,
and apparently the man-o-war wanted to play tug-o-war,
after a minute of pulling, it was off,
my sister,
sobbing while my dad disinfected the sting.

So many good times I've had at this place,
this brown, multi-roomed, stone tiled beach house,
It really is, my home away from home.

What do I have?
nothing,
the facade of my friendship
is something that people mistake for vibes that I can't produce,
I was build to be quirky and weird,
to have relationships that never last,
friends that,
"lose contact with me"
my life has always been secretly eating away at my ego,
it's been hard,
I've been teased,
pressured,
loved,
hated,
and every emotion in between is something I feel on a daily bases,
it's sad but true,

People say that true friends are forever friends,
but I guess I haven't meet a whole lot of them,

my
"friends"
nice to me cause I said hi or lent them a dollar or two,
is that true friendship?
or is a true bond created with time?
where are the friends that said they would "keep in touch"
they had time,
but they moved away,
gone with the wind,
just like the feelings of hate, love, anxiety, and the memories...
The memories of the love I would wake up to in the morning,
and the sorrow I would use to cry myself to sleep with,
and if it ever came back to bite me,
then it would know that there is nothing there,
just a empty shell of a man that once lived a life worth living,
He is now a withered away soul bound to land of living,
so he has to relive the pain, of not being able to walk away,
the sights of love, and the loss and heartbreak,
this man feels hatred and sadness,
he is alone,
he feel nothing now,
so i'll ask you again,
what do I have?

I'm watching,
waiting,
anticipating,
contemplating my memory,
is this a nightmare I keep reliving?
or a gift of thought  I keep receiving,
deceiving,
isn't it?
For when the clock turns round,
and falls to the ground,
breaks,
no sound?
Does this mean the events were never meant to be?
since when has twilight lasted forever?
a twisted fate, a false reality,
The eternal eerie feeling
brutally pushing back the happy warm embrace of the sun.
this is true fright amongst fears,
so tragic, it drives you to tears.
but wait,
because there is a sunny day,
where the warm rays make you feel like the
earth was made for you and only you,
but why?
why would you question if that day would ever come,
or if the earth was round,
or why at night the moon shyly shows it's face,
only to start hiding again in the morning.
You know that if all the comets in the universe
had a hurtful name written on it,
they would all be pointed at you,
and the impact would cause fireworks, and sparks
for other people to smile and laugh at,
but after the show is done,
the heat has cooled,
and the rubble settled,
there is nothing left but ashes,
burt so badly by the heat of the moment
that you can never see the shine or glow it once had,
this is an event you can never recover from,
cant fix, and cant rebuild,
so all you can do is scoop up the pain,
the emotion,
and memories,
and put them all down on the field,
in a pile of sorrow,
and lay down next to them,
and keep them company,
until you decide to blow them away,
get up,
and start again,
to start a story on a clean slate,
until you look up,
only finding yourself to still be waiting in twilight
for the golden day to arrive,
But what you don't know,
is that this day will never come if you sit and wait for it,
hard work and perseverance,
those are the only things that will release the joyous feelings,
because the sun's power is inside of you,
and all along you have been the key to your own happiness,
but when you decide to break the lock,
and conquer twilight,
is up to you.