It hurts like hell,
It's embarrassing
Am I the only one who can do no right?

I feel unwell,
like only ripping apart my chest,
slitting my throat open,
and gouging my heart
can make me feel better.

I feel useless,
I feel unwanted,
I don't feel good.

I feel a pain in my chest,
I've felt it before,
I've hoped it would never return.

I don't know anymore,
I'm at a point in my life,
where I need help,
where I need guidance.

But I'm so **** stupid to see!
All this revolves around me.
My decisions,
my choices.

If I weren't in this ****** world,
would something be amiss?
Would there be any change at all?

I hate it!
I hate myself,
Everything seems to be crumbling around me.

Every night I can't sleep,
Every night I cry just to feel relief.
Every night I need someone to tell me it's okay.
But no one does.........

I can't take it anymore,
If my best friend is reading this..
I'm sorry...
I can't tell you face to face.
It just hurts so badly.
I can't help it,
**I'm sorry

Color in my dull palette,
light in my dark abyss,
eyes to my unseeing soul.

You who has conquered this heart,
knows nothing of a battle.
Sitting as still as a metal pole.

Hold my fate
gingerly I plead.
As the storm's waters
in my heart secede.

I've given everything,
anything and all.
Please, I beg you,
**quit trying to stall.

You know I like you,
You brush it off like nothing.
I am here hoping.