2nd part of “I Walked To The Moon”

I Walked To The Moon. Now here I am on earth
With anxiety haunted my sleep
Desperately wanted to touch her
Missing the pull of her gravity
And live inside her forever

I remembered her spoiled voice
That I cannot resist
Asking me to stay longer
Until her sorrows are over
I hate to be separated from her
My moon that shines bright
In my everyday night

I stood up on my backyard before I sleep
I saw my moon standing in the sky toughly
She gleams brighter than before, as if she was looking for me
So I waved at her trying to grab her attention
But I’m just a human being, hardly she notice. Again my heart was broken
I missed her
I love her
I need her
I want her

For how many times I thought
I could let her go?
How many billions of seconds I swallowed
To just lay in my bed, waiting for her to fill the hole
Very deeply inside me
So I can feel complete?
How much cigarettes did I burnt
Until my lungs hurt
For just putting my focus on that girl?
How much poems should I write
With all the creativity and the rhymes
So she noticed that already a thousand times
I already cried
From the inside?
How many romantic songs I listened
When I faced a tremendous depression
After she touched my minuscule heart
And left me apart?
How come I still adore her
After all the tortures
That she did already
By unintentionally?
How much pain
Should I gain
Just so I could see her eyes
That glows in my dreams every nights?
How much longer I can carrying this torch
The fire that burnt my feelings into ashes
The flame that harms me the most
That could traumatized me for ages?

I have no idea............

I walked to the moon, and she welcomed me
Greets me and let me in
She pulled me with her gravity
Impatiently waiting for me to reach the ground safely

I touched her surface
Rub it
And get the sense of her on my skin
Smoothly as I can
As balmy as she demands
All my pain and depression began to fades
I felt so beatific
After I saw her smiling

I laid my back on the ground
Her gravity pulled me stronger
Stronger than ever
I looked up at the sky around
The sun and the other stars shining their own universes
It’s just a simple thing, but I could feel so much pleasure

But I cannot stay there longer
I have to go back to earth
She understands my reason
For the need of my oxygen
I walked away
And we go on our separate way
I went down
Back to my hometown
Meet my friends
And tell them about my experience

I walked to the moon and reach back to earth safely
It’s a waste of money
To get the rocket and my safety equipment
I walked to the moon, and it felt like in heaven

I could feel the cold air flowing to my skin
Blowing the branches and leafs
Of the millions trees
Fear describes my feelings
As the woods doesn’t seems to welcome me
And the trees staring at me coldly

The land was so muddy
I felt squeamish
As the mud goes up to my legs
Oh *******
Why am I here in this cursed forest
I hate this place

The wind starts to blow stronger
Then ever
To my face directly
The woods have given me a warning
To get out of there and don’t come back ever again

Alone in the woods, what’s the worst it will happen

I slide the door open
And saw Aurelia reading a novel
Sitting in the living room
On a summer afternoon

Then a man kicked the front door open
Take out his gun and pulled the trigger
And shot Aurelia right on the forehead
My heart dropped and I Screamed Her Name

Few men came in like a soldier
One of them was the leader
I’m the next target
But I don’t want to be dead

So I pulled out my pistol
Pull, aim and fire
Shot dead all of them
Except the leader, his legs were pierced by my bullet

He looked at me and beg for mercy
But all the hatred and anger has controlled me
I shot his torso twice
And his head three times

I leaned my back on the wall
And slowly sat on the floor
Burnt a Marlboro
And gave my lungs some smoke

I looked at Aurelia’s body
No soul, no emotions and no spirit
Her breathless nose
I had a mental break down

Then my eyes were wide opened
Lying down on my bed
No dead men around the area
No Aurelia
It was just a nightmare
I was scared
It felt so real
So real

Dear Aurelia
Do you still remember
The day when I intended to get my self hurt?
With the two bladed knife I have
That I said it will protect myself
Now I want you to look at my arms
Because of you, there is no more blood, scratch and scars

Dear Aurelia
Even if you are not mine
Or if you never put me in your mind
I still miss you very much
But I can’t say that directly to you, because I have no guts
I’m just a coward
Who did mistakes, sins and dream bigger

Dear Aurelia
When I heard you already have a lover
Who is cooler, smarter and better
The pain in my chest won’t stop until now
My mood goes down down and down
I am now broken-hearted
All the colors I saw slowly turns faded

Dear Aurelia
Listen to my heart for once
By reading my feelings as I poured my emotion into this poem I’ve done

I took my pocket knife
Hold it firmly
And scratched the surface of my skin
In front of Aurelia's naked eye

Her negative aura could be felt
Squimish and the room feels like hell
Her cold stare
Creeps me and makes me scare

In a split second, her hand holds my knife
She opens the blade and scratch her tigh
But I didn't see her bleed
I exhale in relief

“You could’ve bleed if you do that” I warned her
Again, I have to see the cold stare of her

"Why did you cut yourself?" She asked me
"Stress" I answered. Short straight and solid

“Don’t you cut yourself again!”
“If I don’t, what’s it for me then?”

She paused for 5 seconds

“I will cut my self too Peter”
“What?! How about your lover?!”
“Don’t care about him”
The way she said it, she is serious

I paused for a while
Thinking of her lover that gone wild

“You love me right?”
That question, really hits my mind
How did she finds out I carry the torch for her?
How did she knows my heart have her name written?
I panicked
And wishing God to get me killed

Then she continues her question
“As a friend”
My heart beats goes back to normal
And in a low voice I replied “yes”

By the time, I made a promise with an angel
The angel who saved me from the reaper
The angel who prevents me to be burnt in hell
The angel who prevents my family crying on my funeral
The angel that will do the same if I harm myself