RAINBOW FAIRY FLOSS BY THE SEASHORE    
From the 4th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.    
      
We had a whale of a time last weekend on a trip with my family to the seaside resort named Slipslopslap Bay. It is located about three hours from my home.    
     
Once we arrived at our rented holiday wood cabin put our clothes away in the wardrobe and placed our food in the fridge, we all decided as a family what we would do next.    
     
My Mum, Flo, took my younger brother, Lemmy, to the local carnival for rides, drinks and even some pink coloured fairy floss and warm apple pie. My two much older, identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, went to the shops looking for souvenirs and some new summer clothes to wear. Dad, Smoochy and I went down to the pier by the seaside to do some fishing and to look at the large ships passing by.    
     
After a bit of fishing, and catching a slimy piece of seaweed, we spent time viewing the large ships with the help of Dad's trusty, homemade, fancy, far out, funny binoculars. Dad was getting tired after such a long drive, so he nodded off to sleep on a deckchair by the seaside.    
     
I stood on the fishing tackle box to get a better view of the very large ships. A huge wave crashed over the bow of a large ship, and then several of its cargo boxes, fell off the side and into the ocean.    
     
Zooming in with Dad's trusty, homemade, fancy, far out, funny binoculars, I could read the words on the outside of each crate. They spelt out the names of colours, such as: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and even Violet.    
     
On the bottom of each crate, was the name Fairy Floss, which was the funniest thing of all!    
     
From the corner of my right eye I saw a large whale swimming towards the floating crates. The whale began to smash all of them apart, with its very powerful long tail. The whale then swallowed up all of the different colours of the floating fairy floss in one huge gulp.    
     
It then emerged from under the water, but accidentally hit a shipping buoy marker that was floating nearby, flipping it into the air and back down again, right into it's blowhole.    
     
He swam towards the beach's safety swimming poles, and I thought, 'How I can help this whale with a shipping buoy marker stuck in its blowhole'!    
     
I fetched my fishing rod and cast it towards him, trying to hook onto the top of the buoy. But I couldn't quite get the hook attached under the top part of it.    
     
So I felt around in my back pocket and found my, very super sporty, single-shot, stylish slingshot that my Dad had made me last year. I shouted out to my new grouse pet mouse, Smoochy, you'll be right mate. Ready, set, go! whoosh went Smoochy, sailing through the air, luckily he landed on the whales back, first shot.    
     
I placed some cheese that Mum had made us for an afternoon snack, onto the hook and cast it again. On the third try, it hovered above the shipping buoy. Smoochy caught a whiff of Mum's cheese on the dangling fishing hook.    
     
He grabbed at the cheese and amazingly, placed the hook under the top part of the shipping buoy. I don't know if Smoochy knew what he was doing or if it was just an almighty lucky fluke.    
     
I pulled as hard as I could and wound and wound in that fishing line string. The stuck shipping buoy, came off with a pop. and sent Smoochy along for the ride.    
     
The force made me fall off the fishing tackle box and I landed on my behind. All of a sudden the whale blew a massive blast of multi coloured fairy floss up into the sky. It looked like a colourful rainbow haze just above the waves. Lots of people ran onto the pier to see what was going on.    
     
The whale then took off for the deep sea ocean, but I swear, as he turned his head towards the seashore, he looked directly at me and gave me a friendly thank-you wink.    
     
My dad woke up from the loud cheering noise of the excited crowd, but didn't believe me when I told him that I had hooked such a large catch with the help of Smoochy on our whale-of-a-time fishing adventure.    
     
Smoochy popped back into the safety of my top left-hand side pocket, and I thought I heard him say to me, as quick as a blink, 'please don't do that to me again'.    
     
I knew the fall backwards made me a bit sore, but boy I knew what I heard, and I will listen more carefully, to see if he talks anymore, for he is my, new pet grouse mouse Smoochy, after all.

WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK      
From the 3rd diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.      
      
This week's fun times and great adventures with Smoochy started at the small village pond, just down the road from my home. Which remember, is nestled amongst the trees on a hill in a little country town called, 'Shimmerleedimmerlee'.      
     
While down at the small village pond, I was feeding Buck the Duck, the wild duck that I have been feeding since I was about four years old. I noticed the water level had dropped down, since my last visit to the pond. I was worried the small village pond may not have enough water in it for Buck the Duck to swim in and drink his daily water.      
     
Soon, I was getting hungry, and I also had to feed Smoochy and Buck the Duck some of my Super Duper Triple Cheese sandwiches, made with a smidgen of strawberry jam and a small spread of vegemite between each layer of cheese.      
     
My mum had packed along with the sandwiches a bottle of berry juice and small cut up pieces of apple and banana, a small bunch of green grapes and lots of watermelon sliced into little triangle shapes. All placed together inside a clear plastic bag.      
     
Before opening the bag you should always turn the bag just three times upside down while at the same time moving all of your fingers between the fruit, from side to side (a bit like playing a trumpet) but with a nervous twitch, I guess) then turn the bag left to right five times only but never ever right to left. There you have it, my creation I call the "Colourful Take-Away Fruit-Blast in a BAG".      
     
Then, once that part is done you can eat it to your heart's content or until you are as full as a goog. If you like a bit more adventure, you can also perform the easy and exciting, but very secret add-on part which is called the JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra.      
     
I will give you the secret JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra instructions at the end of today's fun adventure diary entry, but only if you can keep it a secret. It's one of my favourite afternoon creations of all time.      
     
Ok, back to the day's fun adventure. That afternoon was extremely hot and I decided to take Smoochy home for a lie down in the backyard hammock which is hanging up between the two large trees and under the shade, near dad's unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed, to cool down and rest.      
     
I told my dad Archie, that the water level in the village pond was at its lowest I have ever seen it in all of my years being there feeding Buck the Duck. Dad said he would take a look when he had time and let me know what's going on.      
     
The next week I went down to the nearly empty village pond, but Buck the Duck was nowhere to be seen. When dad got home from work he told me he had driven past the pond on the way to work that morning and told me the pond was losing its water because of the consistent hot weather we had been having lately. Dad said the water was evaporating rapidly and that's why Buck the Duck has left to find another home with plenty of water to swim in and drink from.      
     
I said, we have been feeding him since I was about four years old. It also feels like we have lost part of our family. Dad said, ‘Don’t  worry, I'll think of something, just give me a few days to work it out’.  
     
So off dad went, into his unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed, to start thinking of a solution and try and get Buck the Duck back home where he belongs. He looked inside the grouse little pet mouse house he built for Smoochy and studied the tubing he designed for Smoochy to get from the top level down to the lower floor.      
     
All of a sudden, it clicked inside dad's very smart head. He went to the hardware shop and purchased a variety of things. Busy for days and even working at night in his unusually built and outrageously painted outback backyard shed.      
     
The day had arrived and dad took Smoochy and I down to the small and empty village pond, to show us what he had done.      
     
He had built a maze of small, medium and large round pipes made out of new coloured plastic and he had even painted them with cool cosmic colours with unusual designs.      
     
He had looped and even double looped the three different coloured size pipes as they went down the hill and into the small village pond.      
     
Dad knew that the hot sun would keep evaporating the water from the small village pond, so he used his brains and connected the pipes up to the homes bathroom and kitchen drainage water pipes. He had even installed a filter to pump clean recycled clear water back into the pond.      
     
Dad told us, the small green coloured tube was for the clean recycled water and Smoochy was to use the medium, yellow coloured tube to whizz down and finally the largest red coloured tube, was for the whole family and friends to use. I named dad's creation the "Tremendously Terrific Triple Tumbling Turning Travelling Tubes".      
     
After days of having fun, I slid down for the last time, via the large red coloured tube to swim in the pond and guess who bobbed his head up from the water? It was my good old friend, Buck the Duck. I was so happy to have our friendly small village pond duck, back at last.      
     
Oh I almost forgot to tell you the instructions for the add-on JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra creation. Have you got a pen and paper at the ready?      
     
Here it is. Hold the bag upside down and make a small hole in the very right-hand corner at the bottom of the bag, get a straw and put it in the hole. Then place a cup near the bag and slowly pour the juice through the straw into the cup. Once done take the straw out and place it in the cup. Then make the small hole into a much bigger hole and empty the rest into your bowl.      
     
So now you have fruit in a bowl that is not too soggy anymore from the "Colourful Take-Away Fruit-Blast in a BAG" and if you could follow the instructions correctly you also have a cup of fruit juice made from the JiggyJiggy Side Kick Extra creation or for fun you can call it, if you can pronounce it.      
     
The "UpCDownPunchaHolePutinStrawPourtheJuiceinaCup"      
     
There you have it, but remember to keep it a secret ok?

To the gal who was always by my side
I say, thanks to you, I can almost stem the tide
You were there for me, in the good times and the bad
Even though it was the sixties, it was more than a passing fad
Those distant memories are still etched upon ones mind
For you have made me the man, that you know is so kind
A better person, than the one you never really knew before
So my utmost gratitude, to the gal who I’ll always adore

Don’t feel guilty, it’s not your job in life
Be yourself for me, for I’m the one in strife
I’m not scared of death, just the act of dying
So live your life, ‘cause there’s no use in lying
Back on the mountaintop, with a storm rolling in
We were sitting on the porch, so why not sing
The dark clouds are hovering, so let it be
Waking early every morning, saying, why not me

When I’m six feet under and the days are still golden
Remember it was my parents who got me enrolled in
No signature needed, just pay the balance, when it’s due
All I wanted was a simple life, even if it wasn’t brand new
Learned from elders, reminisced from the youth, nothing to lose
Mainly lived my life, in the here and now, walking in my shoes
Felt joy of love, ached pain of loss, add some envy and greed
Farewell my family and friends, your memories are all I need

So, our hero of tha day waz DJ Herc  
He b driven’ lil Mizz Dazze ‘round, in a pimped out Merc  
Queensbridge waz tha birthplace of Hip-Hop  
Red alert, it just won’t stop  
It will hurt uz a bit  
No more than a **** wid a hit  
Wee all thank Merc 4 puttin’ on dat show  
Smokin’ sum **** n angel dust, wid sum real blow  
 
A bro named, Coke LA Rock, waz also a financier friend of mine  
Handin’ out goodies 2 tha children in-line, all tha time  
Nickel bag half n ounce, quarter pound pow, now wee poppin’  
Az long az tha music izn’t stoppin’ and tha rocks r still droppin’  
If champagne waz still a flowin’, then tha freaks wood b steppin’ in line  
Hotel, Motel, u don’t tell, wee don’t tell, one-time root 9  
There’s notta man dat can’t b thrown, a horse dat can’t b rode  
A bull dat can’t b stopped, a disco dat can’t b rocked, can u decode  
 
Were u @ dat famous house party, thee dope  
Spinnin’ tha holy crates of hip-hop, wee hope  
A1 B-boy from every known neighborhood, wid a scent  
From JC, Tony D’, Sweet n Sour, 2 super DJ ‘Fcukin’ Clark Kent  
Sellin’ nickel bags of cannabis, 2 miss layD hoes to mi crew  
Made mi coin roll into notes, helping outta few dat I knew  
Hip-Hop waz made 4 peace, love, unity n fun  
Still b countin’ mi riches, retired n still layin’ in tha hot sun

I waz hip-hop since I b in mi mamas womb  
Spittin’ sum rhyme, will give u dat tune  
Yo, he spit da raw  
No need 2 prove anymore
I’m scratchin’ ‘bout, I’m bummy in a downtown shelter  
No use complaining ‘bout wat life I’ve been dealt, nah  

Hit em hard, every generation gotta do wat ya do  
Cuttin’ up fresh is da word, new kid on da block, could b u  
It’s how u survive in da hood  
No layin’ ‘bout, stand up like a real man should  
Don’t want 2 sleep on no choo choo train, no more  
Then get off ya RRRs, do sum thing like neva b4  
 
From da Juice Crew 2 Mr Magic, down in Boogie Down Bronx Queensbridge is da place 2 b near, it all interlocks  
More MCs drank da water drippin’ down from around here  
Than any udder crib, in da hole ******* world, ya hear  
So trekkin’ from youth, 2 B.ing @ 1520 Sedgwick Avenue  
I’m now livin’ in fcukin’ Wonderland, if only Alice really knew

Yo, I’m tha new ghetto, sworn in king
Mi Hollywood name is Mr. La La
I don't need 2 listen 2 no lo ****
‘Cause all ya barberin’, is just blah blah
I take wat eva hood rat, be wantin’ 2 ***
Just don't tri and steal mi hard earned bling

You're so friggin dope, well thank you, mi new sister girly
You remind me of an ex Brady, she 2 waz a dirtee little birdy
*** into mi crib and I shall show ya tha best time
Grab a smoke and choke on dat hot ***, it won't cost ya a dime

Ride-by just dun, bi sum kids on a bike, it seems
Leaves images I witnessed, carved into mi nightly dreamz
Wild streets aren't designed 4 everybody out there, but me
Dats wi they invented, plain old grey sidewalks, 4 free

I feel totally naked widout it, I'm not a bad **** dirtee turtle
Dats wat mi mama once said, but even I'm shell shocked, can’t ya tell?
But wat ya see, is wat it really means, or so it should
So yes, it's good 2 be tha king of tha whole **** hood

One day I spilt the beans , on sum loyal corner crew boys
I told tha popo, I know dats so lo lo, but they killed using one of mi toys
If you’re not encouraged in life as a child, like most of uz
You'll always be in a cage as an adult, so wats the big fuss?

Attacked Mr Bigs crib and forced his family out, widout any doubt
Nobody likes a smelly snitch, 4 they will be hunted down and blacked out
They chose a new leader 4 da team and told him, ‘Ya better be able to cope’
But, he waz a brother, who neva new how to tie up all tha loose rope

I came on back and killed tha whole **** hood
A true gangsta haz pride and doze wat he should
I just rode on bi, in mi lo ridin’ convertible Jaguar cat
Shot up and sliced up, all doze forma ****** of mine, and dats dat

I assed da question, where ya bounce?
Mama waz layz peepin da new big tymer, cruizin' thru town
She said, he waz crunk, like outta dis world
They were just poppin' da trunk and keepin’ it real
Da boys were sketchin' and should've just chopped it up
My favourite souljas, now goin' 2 Angola 4 A-187 on da Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast

Yo think she's all dat
But ya girlfriends so stupid
Da 1st time she used a *******
She cracked her 2 front teeth

The 3rd Coast is where da peepole get crunked up, be grilled out and ride on slabs
Down in Texas where they wear, those big belt buckles and jam to da *****
Those cowboys just pop n splash everywhere, all over da hood
That's what ya don't know, 'Bout da Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast

They have sum crazy RRRS partays
Drive sum fine RRRS ******* and cars wid gold grillz
As well as sporting huge silly fat RRRS rims
Backwash swamps and even sum back alley gators

I get my corner boys to sell, all da homie made ice cream
I'll make sure they don't *** anywhere near ya cut
I sell on eBay, a little 1 kilo of hi flyin' kite
Also tried 2 sell da sweets on da corners of mistreets
But da boys try da **** ****, before they sell and get so really cromp
I can't have em leanin', ya all no what I be meanin'

Yo think she's all dat
But ya girlfriends so stupid
Da 1st time she used a *******
She cracked her 2 front teeth

After da show we caught da dude that slapped misista and made her face hot
But before we wrecked him, we visited da famous ‘White Castle’ burger spot
Where we ate those famous, but small burgers dat only cost 35c, cheaper than ***
The popo said, ‘Is you trazy’, we just smiled and kept on eatin' da lot
The cops tried 2 grab us, but they didn't have nathan on us. What ya got?

They have sum crazy RRRS partays
Drive sum fine RRRS ******* and cars wid gold grillz
As well as sporting huge silly fat RRRS rims
Backwash swamps and even sum back alley gators

Ya gotta love Southern hospitality
Depending on where ya go in da Sth
It could be a, ‘Hi, let me *** dat 4 ya, midear’
2, ‘If ya don't stop staring @ me, I'm gonna shoot ya in da face’
So I know the ledge and have got da xtra edge
Over all da udder big tymers, down in da Dirtee Sth 3RD Coast