Am not the boy I used to be
I grew up
But what makes me.. me
Still intact, just with few modifications
I've seen life a bit
I've felt a few things too
"Love, heartbreak, panic attack, disappointment but deeply loneliness..
I learnt how to be alone
And I've seen depression in the dark
I've come face to face with my demons
I understood me back then
But now, just a few
I've understood what sorry really stands for
I've tasted the bitterness of being hurt
I really grew up
I've seen the bittersweet of things
The good, the bad & the extreme
I was once whole
Filled with ecstasy
Eye's filled rainbows
But now it's mostly grey
The rainbow's lost in my darkness
And I know not what to do
That's how broken I am
I grew up, didn't I?.

Trying to write when your high is like throwing rocks into a lake and trying to remember what shape and color they were and how far you threw them.

He
Sat by the riverbank
He
Laughed like cold water
He
Brought to me, the ocean

He...
Where the current runs
behind, beneath
The undertow
Of his eyes
drowning Me

He
Left the scent of good-
Bye Before he’d
leave
As the scent of autumn
Promises winter
And barren, silent trees

My oars
set to the waves
To the phantom of
My sea
The wreck was me
Picking up every shell
Listening
for the sound
Of your feet
the waves
in your eyes
Returning for me
I wait with the moon
For your tides
Hazel is the color
Of the setting
Of my dreams
As they drifted away
In your
castaway-eyes


And I
Knew better
And you
Spoke plainly
And I
Heard nothing
Of the truth
That you
Gave me
But your voice-
It’s remaining
And your eyes
Are engraving
Their colors
on my canvas heart
like your initials
in my ****** bark
That leaves a wound
to die or scar
beneath its message

She picked herself up and built her walls higher than ever before. But she added a door. A door that will either save her or **** her. Her heart is scared to trust but her gut is to confused to say anything. She is terrified but Inlove.

I am a knight.

Not the dark from an evening sky.
Not a warrior wrapped in steel.
More like the chess piece.

My movements? Impractical.
My purpose? Undetermined.
And I'll probably die early.

How comforting.

My accomplice.
My comrade.
My kryptonite.

Make sure to bury me with my horse.
And contort our lifeless bodies into an L
So we can finally embrace what held us back.

The winter this year will be the coldest one by far
I can see it in the coldness of my heart
Got bills to pay but my car wouldn't start
Had to heat my house with gas siphoned from my neighbours car

The winter this year will be the coldest one by far
I can feel its cold in my bones
the way they creak like old folks' homes
some days it feels like I'm trying to move through coal tar

The winter this year will be the coldest one by far
I can see the cold in my old friends' gazes
Whispers behind my back, the usual phrases
"Still playing guitar?"
"Still want to be a star?"
"Doubt you'll ever go far."

The winter this year will be the coldest one by far
I feel the cold coming out of my veins
my nerves so frozen I can't feel the pain
I only numbly hope that it doesn't leave a scar

The winter this year was the coldest by far
I was starting to think it might be my last
But somehow before i knew it winter had passed
Looking back I wonder if it was really so hard