Ephemeral (adj). Lasting for a very short time.

Ephemeral (adj). His love for me; my love for myself.

Ephemeral (adj). The summers of my mind.

Ephemeral (adj). The amount of time I had with him.

Oblivion (n). The state of being unaware of what is happening around you.

Oblivion (n). The state that I live in.

Oblivion (n). The state that I entered when with him.

Oblivion (n). When I can't seem to get out of my head.

Sometimes I feel like I'm useless
like I'm dying
like I'm
            
              f
                    a
          ­              l
                          l
                     ­       i
                            n
                          ­   g
                                                               ­            down into an endless abyss that is housed in my mind.
But it's fine because I don't show that I'm falling apart;
I look like I am fine.
The truth is, however, I'm crying behind my laughter,
dying behind my smile.
I'm slowly fading,
disintegrating,
blowing away in the harsh winds
that whistle throughout
my empty mind.

The mirrors and I start to shatter
I never believed that I was worth it
Nothing else seems to matter


The colors around me blur
I blink back more tears than I’d like to admit
The mirrors and I start to shatter

My hidden scars seem to quiver
All your words bruise me when they hit
Nothing else seems to matter

My shoulders start to shiver
You consider me a hypocrite
The mirrors and I start to shatter

My words trip over each other and slur
I wish sometimes, that I could just quit
Nothing else seems to matter

The ugly thoughts begin to stir
Everything seems to be starlit
The mirrors and I start to shatter
Nothing else seems to matter

How many words does it take to build someone up?
Maybe one, if you're lucky, and if you're happy.
Maybe more if you struggle to believe
that the compliments you receive are true.
Maybe more if you believe that you're incapable
of being
loved.
Liked.
Missed.
But I wouldn't know,
I've no experience.
And how many words does it take to break someone?
This, I can answer with certainty.
It only takes one well-placed word to break someone's mind,
to lose someone,
and that word?
Well, that's
goodbye.

Where are we going?

I… I’m not sure. Home, I guess?

Where even is home? Your parents’ house? Your friend’s?

…No.

Then where?

I’m sorry.

For what?

For not being able to answer your question. For not being enough?

…

For being me and not someone else.

…

**?

Yeah?

I love you.

…

For what it’s worth, you’re my home.

…

I think you might be mine as well.

He said I was beautiful...

But he followed that with the words,

"But we're better off as just friends."

That's human nature.
Isn't it?
To act like we're
the gods of yore,
those lustful, flawed gods from before?
We play with the feelings of others,
never realizing that we impact them more than it seems.

I bet you thought that this was about Valentine's Day...
but instead, it's about reality:
how we bleed for those we love,
how we bleed for our friends
our family
our acquaintances.
But then, Valentine's Day comes along,
masquerading as a solution,
a promise for things getting better,
but instead,
we wind up dead or worse,
our wrists painted red and
we're crying in the corner
just wishing we were
dead.

I am not a good person to fall in love with.
I will imprint my lips onto yours until they're the only thing you can taste.
I will trace indelible shapes onto your skin and laugh when you try to wash them off.
They will never come off.
I will take you to parks and waterfalls and bookshops,
and I will make sure that you cannot go anywhere without thoughts of me running endlessly through your head.
I will love you so completely that anyone else's will seem dim by comparison.

How many times have we waited
Waited and watched
For someone to notice
That the smile we practice
For hours is fake?

How many time have we watched
Our lovers,
Our friends,
Our family
Leave us to the demons in our head?

How many times have we waited
For someone to care
That we’re not there
To laugh and
To smile?

How many hours did we practice
Looking fine,
Looking excited,
In the mirrors that never showed the
Whole picture?

Because they never do.
Pictures and mirrors never show
What’s inside the mind.
If only they did;
Then we’d all be fine.

How many times were we asked
‘Are you alright?’
And how many times did we say
‘Everything’s just fine,’ but,
In reality, we were dying inside?

How many times did
Everyone pretend to care
That the light on the inside
Was hardly
Ever there?
~A.L.W.

I realize that you probably hate me.
Don't worry
I hate me too.
You say that you don't,
but I see the anger, the sadness, the disgust
that lives and thrives on the lies
that are told, either for the
protection or self-gain of those who tell
them.
Your disgust thrives on my flesh,
eats into my bones,
leaches into my brain.
Shatters me.
I realize you hate me.
Don't worry
I hate me too.
I draw on my wrists with silver
but
it
comes
out
red.

I say that I’m fine
With tears streaming down my face.
I say that I don’t need anyone
While I’m reaching for you.
I say that I don’t need anything
From anyone,
But that isn’t true.
What I need the most is for someone to listen,
For someone to care.
What I need the most is someone like you.
How am I to tell you?
When I am afraid,
When I am reluctant,
When I don’t know what to say?
When I can’t form the words necessary?
When it’s stuck in my throat?
When I’m too nervous to say anything?
But you see through my front.
You see through my excuses.
You see through the lies
That I told to protect myself.
You see through all of the slanted truths
That make up the armour that I wear.
You discern the truth from the fallacy,
And I thank you for showing me the light
In the darkness.

My body is a bird
Too broken to fly
My mind is a fragile leaf
Hanging on ‘til it can’t anymore
You don’t understand
People scream at me
Shout at me
Screech at me
And there’s nothing I can do
People cry for me
They’d die for me
But I can’t do the same.

When is it all right to let go?
The waves of despair are so
Strong, they force me under the
Water of my own heavy tears.
Why does no one hear my desperate
Cries for help to survive this
****** up life?