I fell asleep on my pen
Once remembering your
Hands onto the page became
Too exhausting.
I awoke to see,
Like a vision from
a beautiful dream, you.
You, across from me
With her
And when you had to go
You finally looked at
Me and said goodnight, darling,
With that look in your eyes,
As if this was my fault

My desire for the feel of your skin on mine
Is so strong I'd do anything for it even
If it meant nothing to you because
Even ottomans can feel your touch but
I know you will never love an ottoman.

Sometimes you set me on fire
But it’s not burning, it a small tea light candle
But it pokes me and prods me
Hurts my fingertips
In the best kind of way
I worry I like you more than you like me
And that’s not a bad thing
But I don’t think it’s a good thing
Because I like you in all the ways
That people think I should love you
But is that love?
What is love?
And is that something I want?
If you care about me more than I can feel
Or say
Is that enough?
What is enough?
Enough kisses? Hugs?
Enough time holding hands?
Enough times waking up with you,
falling asleep too?
We tip toe around the word
And I don’t mind
Should I mind?
What does it mean to care about someone?
Or to care for someone?
I’m deeply in like with you
And I know this because
I feel completely free with you,
Free to talk, laugh, dance
I cannot explain how much I like that you dance with me
Even if it’s for a quick moment.
I don’t think straight sometimes
You make me think of everything
I want your honesty and mind
Thoughts, and I so want you to be a person
Because I think that’s all I really want in life
(Isn’t that all everyone wants?)
To be a person but with another person?
Because we all are looking for something, usually someone
To be ourselves with

I didn't want to remember
but never tried to forget
and I almost didn't leave
yet I wouldn't go back
I wish I hadn't chosen
but wouldn't change a thing
I'm constantly humming a tune
yet without a song to sing
Feeling so claustrophobic
but afraid to venture outside
I'm sitting here hopefully
yet dwelling on goodbyes
I refuse to release more tears
but my eyes are brimming still
as I linger in warm thoughts
always confused about how I feel

Sleep come to thee
Take me away and whisper
Come with me

A place not so far
With rivers and forests
Crystal clear
A place where i have no scars

Clarity come to thee
Why cannot i see
I need to set myself free
While I'm awake in reality

When we both are in our splintered state of mind
I will glue fragments of our minds into a
Ceramic vessel
Perfected by the patchwork,
We'll be a chaotic disarray of
Terra cotta and melancholic thoughts.
Something so whimsical,
Only we could fathom it's substance.

d r u m m e r
he's alive and i don't know what to do he's trying to beat life out of me using percussion to give me a concussion tuning me like a timpani and striking me like a snare dying in a rhythm improvised in a split second the mallets drew blood from somewhere i cant understand and i cant see anymore where am i am i dead yet