Let to me to be the shelter from the storm,
to break the waves that crash down on your
distorted reality.
I am the love that lost its fight,
yet I linger in the shadows, waiting
to be the hero once more.
The story ends on the last page,
so turn slowly my love
for my  chance has yet to be written.

I don't want to hurt you!

That's what you come up with,
Like a line from a bad movie.

Do you realize,
That these words hurt me so much more
Than anything else ever could?

I look up into your eyes,
I can feel the tears rising to my throat.

Keep up the facade!
Do not give yourself away!

Slightly I punch you on the arm,
Thanks for telling me!
A voice says.
So much like my own,
But coming from a distant place
Outside my head.

So, we're cool?

You ask, smiling that wicked smile.
I just don't want to hurt you.

The words dig into my skin,
Through muscle, flesh and bone
Til they they reach my heart.

We're cool.*
I can hear the distant voice.
A smile steels onto my face.

Too often have I heard these empty words.

You hug me goodnight.
I breath in slowly.
The voice breaks a little.
There's no need for you to worry.

Tonight I will cry myself to sleep
my heart
Engraved with the words just exchanged
Will harden a little more.

Til one day,
Someone, without empty words,
Comes along.

I don't know what's crossed your
Brain tonight but I know that
You shouldn't think I want you to
Know that I think highly of you

So please,
Kiss me and get it over with

I drink my coffee, butter my bread

I still can’t get you out of my head

wash my hair, brush my teeth

you’re the only reason why I breathe

Having him near and not touching
Was decidedly tough.
In the end I realized that loving him
Was just not enough.
He liked making love and exploring
The bodies we had
But not enough to fall in love with me
And that was sad.

I knew this heart-pounding affair was
Just for a few days.
And while I was falling very hard, he
Would son walk away.
He mumbled something one time
About being a free spirit
But in those moments I didn’t know
What to do with it.

It was not information I could take
And put someplace real.
It was a kind of romantic connection
That I could not feel.
It didn’t fit with the movies and books
And the fairy tales.
It didn’t end with a swell of music.
It ended with sad wails.

It made no sense at all to me then
How anyone could be
A totally involved ****** machine
And act so shallowly.
How can someone throw themselves
Into such wild action
And have it not mean more than just
Physical satisfaction?

He was the first, there were more.
This kind of guy shines,
And knows how to attract the fools
With attitudes like mine;
People who persuade themselves
To proceed blindly
When these one-night lotharios
Treat lovers unkindly.

Of course, it was not love, I know,
Not even for me.
It was just something called lust
That captivated me.
A gorgeous body and talented talk
Easily woos youth
With so much seduction I would not
Look hard for the truth.

I don't know why
some sunsets make me sad
I stare at the fading sun
as I had
done in times past-   memories
still linger on somehow
(what entered my feelings then-
why should they affect me now?)
this I can only surmise
evenings are hours that languish
as the heart that seeks comfort and rest
the day's troubles wishes to relinquish

what would I dream of tonight
in a realm hidden from human sight?