“I learned the truth
At seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skin.”
I learned the truth
At twenty-one,
I was sad, recently single,
Sitting in a black truck
Dark as the night
Turning our bodies
Into silhouettes,
When he took my hand firmly in his
And moved it down his body
Onto his *******
And I told myself
This is what I wanted.
I learned the truth at seventeen
That men want to touch you,
And they don’t always care
Whether or not you want them to.
I learned it when my high school sweetheart
Pressed himself into my *******,
When he pushed his hand
Into my ******* and touched me,
And I recoiled.
I learned the truth at thirteen
When my mother left my father,
And he didn’t want me.
We had a relationship of convenience,
He was only my father
When I was easily accessible
And easy to deal with.
I learned the truth
At nineteen,
When my high school sweetheart
Forced his **** into me
The last time I ever saw him.
I learned that men don’t always
Care about no,
And safewords don’t keep you safe.
I learned the truth
At twenty-one
That men want someone
Thirty years younger than them,
And that the attention
I got felt good
After years of not feeling good enough.
I learned the truth
Mere weeks before I was twenty
That I wanted a man to touch me again,
And I wanted to feel safe.
I lost my virginity
With a man carved out of sunshine,
And I watched his light die
Almost two years later.
I learned the truth at twenty-one,
That I will never trust anyone,
That love was meant for nice girls,
With pastel sweaters
And clear skin,
With nice two parent homes,
And high school sports trophies.
I learned that I am the only one,
Who will ever take care of
Me.