Darla Haven

Darla Haven 5d

No knife

There is no knife that cuts my skin 
Just too many bright reflections
 Good words are screaming from within
 And blood might help confessions

I’ve read so many similar words on here
 In some weird way that fills me with fear
 I can understand it’s romantic, I guess
 But for once in my life I wish to hear less

Little red drops, they won’t help the pain 
Big chunky bracelets on your wrist 
It makes you feel like you’re insane
 Yet still you remain, and still you insist

I feel like this sounds too optimistic and unfinished, but maybe that’s the charm? or not? feel free to share your opinion

#harm #selfharm #knife #skin

Darla Haven 6d

shaving

I never liked shaving, 
a blade in my hand,
 scraping across body hair
 that never asked to be gone.

They called it *****, 
so I was *****.

I carved at my skin, 
slicing away 
the girl they wanted me to be.

The girl I was told to become.

Now my armpits are hairy,
 the razor’s long dead,
 rotting in its plastic grave.

And me? 
I don’t care anymore.

I think this feels more like a statement than a poem. I just don’t know what I am stating.

#shaving #razor #expectations

Darla Haven Aug 24

Two years ago

Two years ago
I wrote I didn’t get

gender.

Two years ago
I said
not everyone
is interested in

boys.

Two years ago
I wished people tried to

understand.

Two years ago
I didn’t understand
why people

cut.

Two years ago
I thought others
deserved better

than I do.

Two years ago
I thought

death
was better sometimes.

Two years ago
I said
it would be

okay.

Two years ago
I claimed
I was doing

better.

I wrote this poem after reading my diary from that time and yeah I guess a lot has changed, but some things stay the same.

#gender #cut #death #understand #better #okay

Darla Haven Aug 18

not special

I’m not special.

Just another
blonde
white
privileged
child
who thinks
they can
change
this place.

But that teacher
wasn’t special
either.

I try to listen.
They don’t.
She didn’t.

She didn’t care.
Not for kids.
Not for my words.
Not for me.

She made me
hate school.
Hate that place.
Hate her cage.

Long story short I wrote a speech and this teacher stole some parts, but didn't allow us to read the whole things. HER speech was racist, sexist and just extremely bad , so that ****** me off. Luckily I am starting at a new school in September, so I don't have to deal with her ever again.

#school #cage #doubt #special

Darla Haven Aug 13

never again, Darina Hana.

Don’t want to be
Anyone but me
Right now
I hate this
Never have I before
And I hope I never will again

Habits I hate
And hopes I can’t give up on
Never-ending cycles
Again and again

For anyone out there who doesn't know who they are

#never #again

Darla Haven Aug 11

postcard

I sent you a few too many messages.

Knowing **** well you were offline,
Just hoping you're doing fine.

You didn't even send me a ******* postcard.

Or I don't know,
Maybe the post is just really slow?

You promised to text when you had a moment.

#postcard #text

Darla Haven Aug 9

That was before

That was before you
wanted
to do anything with us.

That was before I
trusted
you.

That was before I
trusted
anyone.

That was before I
trusted
myself.

That was when I
only trusted
the glow of my laptop in an empty room.

I guess I’m doing better know? But then why doesn’t anyone that I trust talk to me? Reach out first?

#trust #myself #laptop