It was a quiet afternoon of reminiscing
Nostalgia lingered in the sunlit air
intermingling with the sweet aroma of coffee
as I sipped and leaned back in my chair

˜
He walked up to me as I sat by the window
I waited to see what he wanted to say
“Your skin is the color of my mocha’, he smiled.
‘Just a notch deeper than your café au lait.’

°
With his jet black hair and Mediterranean eyes
And a physique worthy of a prize winning stallion
His confident air and his subtle smirk
He had to be greek, or maybe a charming Italian

˜
Long hair in a messy bun that didn’t care
jeans ripped in strategic places
His gaze never left my quizzical eyes
obscuring everyone else’s faces

°
He waited for me to respond
mere seconds since his saunter
Forever engraving in my mind,
This coffee shop encounter…

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

Every time I sleep in bed
I see the monsters in my head
Ghouls and ghosts chase me about
While I think of mournful  doubts

I scream and scream until my Mother hears
All about my terrifying  fears
Giants threaten to eat me whole
While vampires threaten to steal my soul

I'm drowning in moonshine
The alcoholic drink
Demons waiting for me to to sink
Maybe for once to have a decent meal

Wolves strip my bones clean
Then I remember
It's just a dream

Follow the rabbit
Into the hole
Listen to the cat
To find your soul

Of course
it will happen
one day
Lizbeth says
it will happen

I lay the borrowed bike
against the hedge
and so does she
hers is red and silvery

we walk up
the narrow lane
to the hollow tree
and we climb in
and it's like a small house
inside but small
and snug

I like it here
she says
last time we came
I thought we'd do it here
but we didn't
and I so much
wanted to
even though
it's not very
comfortable or big

what's the rush?
I ask

she sits on a small ledge
hands in her lap

never know
how long
you've got
might not make 16
might be pushing up
daisies by then
she says

I look out
of the hole
in the hollow tree
at the surrounding
woods and trees
and hedges
bird song and such

come sit down
next to me
she says
I won't bite
well not
straight away

in this book
I’ve got
this woman
is kissing
this man's
what’s-it

I look at her
she's drawing her
dress up
from her knees

why do you
read that book?

why not?

she taps
the small space
beside her
sit for a while
I promise not
to do anything to you

I sit beside her
the space is cramped
and there is a smell
of sap or rotten wood
plus the perfume
she's drowned
herself in

you smell
of farms and cows
she says

I was working there
for a while earlier

smells like it
she says smiling
but I don't mind
as long as you're here
next to me
elbow to elbow
thigh to thigh

and as I turn
my head away
a small bird
flies past
the hole
catching my eye.

I was at a party last night
tipping poison down my already-burnt throat
because I thought it could help me to forget you.
however, I forgot my own name
and left yours stuck on my tongue.

they asked me for drugs last night
but they laughed at me
when I told them about your smile.
everything about you is addictive
to the point of me craving you every second.

when everyone had gone last night
and I was left alone to pick up
the shattered pieces of themselves
that they left on the floor,
I wished you were there.

in a way, you were with me last night.
forcing me to empty the bottle of *****;
whispering with your lips touching my ear;
occupying every single thought I had.
I thought I didn't miss you anymore.


I was wrong.
you were never the one that was missing.
you took me with you.