Your fingers trace my skin
and I forget what
I was going to
say
next...

I was your Venus when you were  my Sun,
Pulling me closer just to watch me burn.

I know that I'm a disappointment.

I've only been told that half a million times.

It's a running joke within the family now.

I know that I get angry at you.

I know I fight with you.

I know I make things hard.

And as much as you don't think so,

I'm trying really hard.

I'm trying to be better.

I'm trying to better myself.

Get my grades up.

And fix myself for you.

But to you,

I'll always be a dissapointment.

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

The astronaut is lucky
Space is vast and empty
His vessel millions of miles
From anyone to hurt

Alone with his emotions
The astronaut watches the stars
Burning, radiating, slowly dying
Much like the feelings in his breast

The absence of gravity
Does not allow the force needed
Will not allow him
To propel his ship into the stars

For they are too far
Much like the astronaut
Too far to harm
The distance is too great

Ignite

Combust

I lost the drive



Cease

Exhaust

I’m still alive

I am unsure what is worse;
seeing you in my dreams,
or not at all.
Each way provides
hurt and sadness,
and the realization that you’re gone and never coming back.