two faces of a coin
two siblings of the heart
passion ignites both
but hurt is left in the wake of one
we forget that our hearts are not coins
the world is not so
it is a blessing and a curse
the things we feel
we do so with such conviction
and human emotion is filled with contradictions
and nothing but a hair separates love and hate
all the evidence you need can be found in a dagger in the back of caesar the great
in the burning of cathedrals, empires and states
but hate is not poison
it does not rot your soul
it is not love
it does not ebb and flow
it retires to the hidden chambers in between your ribs
you slam the door and throw the key

my friends i know don’t want me to stay
they can sense i feel the same way
in that i am unfit as a person
i do not want their help
& they do not want to help me
that’s how it’s still working

“It’s been a rough week”
My freshman english teacher
and my freshman debate coach
both look only to me
as an affirmation,
as opposed to a reminder
that it hasn’t only
started this week

It started with my mother
“Cat, you are a beauty”
“You look like your father, with a touch of beauty”
“You look like your father, with a hint of me”
“You look like your father”

i’ve lived for so long already
feels like i’m already dead

If I wrote a book,
you will be my central character.
Million copies later,
I may write through your impeccable knowledge.

If I wrote a poem,
you will be in every word.
A couple of views later,
I may speak through your poetic silence.

If I acted in a play,
you will be my audience.
A few applauses later,
I may act out a monologue of glorious affection.

Say hi,
Say hello,
Say no more,
When words stop,
I will understand,
That we are where we need to be.

If I met you in real life,
you will be my soul mate.
A few decades later,
I may seek a second life with you.

So, meet me now! :)

Eyes of ghosts all fill the room
lovers, made of dust and made of gloom.
I remembered them but I forgot,
to forgive and forget, the lot.
As always, the night went on,
my face in the old glass window
stared at me with an iris of killing pawn.