I think the longest allocation of time
Is that moment between when our eyes meet and when our lips meet

We danced toward
each other's wounds

with gentle step
and touched inside

and now the bleeding
has resumed

and all this blood
is hard to hide.

I'm  not the kind of girl you say babe to.
Or the one you call beautiful
Or seek to entice.
I'm the one your curled up with in an airport,
Four days before.

I'm not the kind of girl you ask out and post on facebook.
Or worry about from miles away.
I am the hidden kind of girl,
Held in darkness,
But not with hands.

I'm not the kind of girl you move across a country for.
Or you dress up nice and take to parties.
I'm the fierce kind of girl
Who has your unwanted secret
Hidden beneath layers of flesh.

I'm not the kind of girl who doesn't notice your lies.
Or your eyes
Or your ways of showing me I'm not the kind of girl.
But I am the awful kind of girl
Who ignores it.

I am the kind of girl who will share your bed,
And do your laundry.
Agree we are together but always wonder
Why together feels so much lonelier
Then I remember.

As you inhale
So do I
But not in the same way
You inhale to drown yourself in the feeling of love
It courses through your veins
And camps In your lungs
Engulfing your heart
And as you exhale  
Your release your love in a cloud of smoke
I hold my breath
Trying not to breath it in
Scared of the long lasting affect
Trying to protect my health
You inhale and exhale again
You step towards me
Expelling smoke from your mouth  
Your love in the air
I take a step back
The gassy odor stains my clothes
Seeps into my skin
Chopping my breathing as it chokes me
Your eager to take another inhale
To breath it in
I'm just afraid of the second hand smoke

she used to be
a good girl
but now she's
smoking away
all her friendships