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Just as Laughter is letting out Happiness
Crying is letting out sadness
Crying is not weak just as Laughter is not weak
So cry, and let it all out.
"WOW!! How do you write like this?"

"I don't write like anything. I just let out my inner thoughts."

"But your wording...!"

"My wording is my hopes and dreams."

"But the stories..!"

"Those stories are either true situations or the scenes that play out in my mind."

"I've never seen anything like it, though!"

"Maybe not. Doesn't mean you won't see it again."

"Why are you acting like your aren't any good at it?!"

"Because it took 9 years of bullying and acting like I am a **** to give me the writing material. 9 years of lonliness with only books and poems too accompany me. 9 years of taking in every detail and memorizing every aspect of stories new and old. 9 years of sitting by myself. And now the people who caused my problems want to compliment me."

"I am so sorry."

"No your not. Not for me. Your sorry because you realize you outcasted yourself from me. You now regret every time I gave you another chance and you back stabbed me."
Actual conversation I had with a past bully.
My smile is a mask
Hiding way more than you think
Shielding away a painful past
But if you look closer
Past my disguise
Past my smile
You will see my eyes
And if you look deep inside them
You will in fact see
That eyes don't hide
The pain that's cut deep
You watched me fall
You heard my cry

You pushed me down farther
When I wanted to die

You watched me call
Out for your help

But instead you laughed
And watched me hit the ground
Broken is my trust for thee
Broken is my heart from thee
Broken is my love for thee
Broken is my soul
Her smell still lingers in my sweat shirt. The smell of lilac flowers on a light summers breeze. Her smell in which I could tell it was her even if her arms wrapped around from behind me. Small as a snack, but her eyes as deep as a ocean. Her lips as luscious and soft as a velvet pillow. Her skin as light and smooth as moonlight. The way her eyes dance in the bright morning sun, the way her hair looks when my fingers run through it.
She calls me her best friend, but when I look into her eyes I see she need way more. She whispers in my ear how she loves me, as if she loves me more than the world should know. Her ex hated me because when he hugged her she felt cold, when she hugs me she felt warm and protected. One time while I walked her too the door, she told me she felt unloved. Almost instantly I stopped her, looked her into her ice blue eyes and told her something I will never tell anyone, ever again.
I told her "I love you more than you will ever know. When I look at you I see your beautiful soul. Your beauty outshines anything I have ever known, and I have known alot of things. I know pain. I know love and I know loss. But never before have I  loved like this. When I am not around you, I think about you. When I cannot see you, my mind forces itself too picture you. I can see how much you need love in your life and its evident in the way you look at me."
And ****** too hell if she didn't start balling into my shoulder, her tears staining my shirt as she told me she loved me. Her tears falling into someone she trusts. Her pale skin glowing softly in the sunlight, her normally ice blue eyes turning electric. Her arms wrapped around my body, wherever her hands touch relaxes my body like no other. I have been with many others but nothing like I want too be with her.
I want to take her out to a grand dinner and dine elequently. I wanna take her to a family dinner and have her meet everybody. I look at her and in a few years time I can see the ring I would put on her.
God....Ugh. I love her. And even as I write this I miss her more than Death misses Life. Even as I type this I want too wrap my arms around her and kiss her.
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