I designed it just for you
hoping never to use it.
A special place
in the kingdom of lost souls.
I have decorated it with
nothing but joyful memories
and I added even a sprinkle of forgiveness.
Forever far far away
our paths break apart.
I put high up in my kingdom
A mountaintop of golden grass
And us standing opposite each other
I never needed subjects
to rule the best part of the world.
I only needed a warm heart
that sometimes seems irreversibly frozen.
But then I go back to my special kingdom
and for a few moments
I look at all these special thrones.
The water of redemption must come
and the sun beams will instill life once again.
If the bleeding ever stops.

I love the winter.
If I were to miss anything from this Earth
it would be the winter.
I can hear my boots on a stone cold floor
My breath comes out frozen
in a house long abandoned.
My childhood memories
overwhelm me.
I've spent years of my life there
Now all of them
have become a stalactite of ice
Slowly melting
as the years go by.
I rub my hands together
to warm up.
Now I don't know which one is really frozen
My body or my heart?
Once I had bliss
moments I could feel safe.
Now I know better
I'm afraid I might ruin
my past blissful memories
by creating new ones.
They're not the same
At least for now.
Maybe years from now
they'll become the same
But the winter comes and goes
regardless.
Like all seasons,
I allow my heart to warm up
from time to time.
But when it's winter,
the walls of ice are impenetrable
It's safe inside
but sometimes quite lonely.
There come times when
I prefer that
Sadly these are getting more by the year
Who knows?
Life will make its circle
Winter, spring, summer, autumn
will come again.
Even when I'm gone from this world
Maybe in them one can find
a peculiar sense of justice.
Is there really?

It's over. Send me away.
The screaming won't stop.
My soul is throbbing in agony
Make it stop. Send me away.
Whatever I say, don't come back
You can't.
Treat me your worst
Cry out you don't love me.
Scream you don't need me
Say it to my face: "You don't matter to me"
Stop this torture: I can't take it.
If you love me, **** my heart
I don't want to feel
Shoot me. The pain won't go away
otherwise
Serve me bitter ice
Make me go. Send me away
You'll do it if you remember the old days
When we were close
I don't want you like this
Send me away
Pull the final string that unites us.
Do it
Now.
I can't be reborn if I don't die.
**** me
Now.
The pain only gets worse
Set fire to the logs.
Burn it
Now.
Burn whatever's left of you inside me
Do it.
I can't bear it
No more.
Send me away. Please
If I can't see it through
Send me away.

You disappointed me
You didn't let me go.
Instead you gave me hope
Hope... how could you do this to me?
Don't you know I cling to it
like a mother holds her child?
And now you're forcing me
to remember.
How can I bear it?
I remember perfectly well.
That's why it hurts me
to the point of screaming.
What if she goes away someday?
What are you going to do then?
Will you remember me?
What will I be then?
Have you thought about it?
I can't stop the thoughts flowing.
I can't stop the pain smothering me.
Never again.
I don't want to feel like this ever again.
I'm done. Do what you will.
I'm truly grateful for my late discovery.
Others just get it pretty sooner than I did.
We merely have some companions.
They can or can't be important
But the road is lonely.
Who can travel it? Everyone.
Never again the same mistakes.
The pain cannot be repeated
for it triples in intensity.
Never again the same person.

It's never the same without you.
I promised I would never go back
to this sanctuary of memories
you so heartlessly gave to me.
Why? Why now?
I can hear my heart screaming
in agony.
I said I wouldn't let you get under my skin.
Now my own blood is no match for you.
Even now, with no hidden carnal desire,
I can't stop.
The brakes are broken in this carriage of pure longing.
Stretch your hand
and I shall cherish it forever.
How could you?
You don't know