I heard you cry for the first time
And I hope it lasts a little while
There were no tears
Just loss
It's like you're in search of a great sadness
There is none to be found
It's so peaceful here

And yet, you are still looking back
At the person you used to be, that you moved on from.
They carried you well, and they deserve to be mourned.
Regardless their weight
You've always held them lightly.

But others carry you now
And there is a responsibility to being loved
It asks us to be better and we should not refuse.

Curse the poets blood.
No matter how much I cut myself, I cannot bleed it away.
Curse the poets skin.
I cannot tear it off, it holds everything in.
Curse the poets feet.
The more I try to run away, the more they dig in, rooted to the words that ground my life.
Curse the poets tears.
They provide no comfort. They blur my vision, wet my pages and smudge my ink.
Curse the poets mind.
At times I dream of throwing it all away. But I cannot differentiate between reality and figments of creativity.

There are too many moments in my life
when i had the words.
i could have warmed the room,
affirmed with love, comforted tears.
and chose not to.
i have long become sheltered by my writing.
i let the fear of my tongue hold me back.
love has asked me to better,
and i have refused.
never again.

Curse the poetic blood
No matter how much I cut myself
I fail to bleed it all away
Curse the Poets skin
I cannot tear it off
It holds everything in
Curse the Poets feet
The more I try run away
The more they dig in, rooted to the words that paint my life.
Curse the poetic tears
They bring no comfort, they blur my view and wet my pages, smudge my ink
Curse the Poets mind
At times, I dream of ways to throw it all away
Curse my poetic heart
But there is love here
And so we cheer this life on.