my deceit was so destructive
tearing a hole in our friendship

i know that you don't trust me
that harsh truth simply kills me

if friendship is built on trust
what will happen to us?

in my mind is a haunting picture
that i'll be unable to fix this

it cuts through my soul like a knife
to think of you leaving my life

i'm aware that i deserve this
for the decency that i relinquished

my deceit was so destructive
burning a hole in our friendship

i am not ashamed of my failures
i use them to paint beauty from the ashes
each failure was a place of learning
each failure is a sign of growth
there is beauty in every single failure
they help me paint a picture from the ashes
they help me paint a picture of hope

Everywhere I go I see your face
I love you but sometimes I just wish you'd go away
You haunt me when I'm wide awake and when I am asleep
I'm trying to move on but you keep following me

Everywhere I go I feel your presence lingering
I thought that death would take you but I can still feel you breathing
I want you to move on so maybe I can too
How can I be happy if I'm haunted by the ghost of you?

Here I am
Standing outside in the freezing rain

You don't understand
You think it's fair to make me wait

There you are
Coming outside and inviting me in

It hurt so hard
When I realised your true intentions

I'm in your bed
The regret is so extremely putrid

I can't pretend
What made me feel beautiful now makes me feel worthless

Here I am
I'm on the train home after deleting your number

You'll never understand
How one sinful night ruined my whole summer

I'm that girl with the Australian accent
I'm the poet who writes in the corner
When the party is getting boring
You'll find me with my journal writing scribbles with my blue pen

I get easily distracted
I tend to feel fat most of the time
Sometimes I seem to lose my passion
Until I hear Ani DiFranco and my heart is set on fire

I fall in love so ******* easily
I'll see your ocean eyes and fall upon my knees
Suddenly I'll see your face on every street
Secretly hoping that one day you'll want to marry me

I'm that girl that got bullied all through school
I think that being different is a fun activity to do
I might get rejected on a regular basis
Rejects tell the most interesting stories

I'm that girl whose got bipolar and anxiety
I've been hospitalised for both of these things
I lost my faith in the mental health system
I know that no one has the decency to fix it

I'm that girl with the Australian accent
I'll always love even if I don't receive it
My best friend has always been Jesus
When I die I'll leave behind the words I write with this blue pen

The girl in blue is through with you
Through with your ****** gestures
Cleaning up your messes
I'm putting on a brand new dress
The girl in blue is changing her view

You tell me to choose
Little do you know
The choice was made up for me decades ago

I didn't have a say at all
My cards were snatched out of my hand
I watched all of my aces fall

Choices are always harder for the woman
Something you could never understand
I want to live just one day as a man

You tell me to choose
Little do you know
The choice was taken from me decades ago