I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.

bad idea! - girl in red

It was a bad idea calling you up
Was such a bad idea 'cause now I'm even more lost
It was a bad idea to think you were the one
Was such a bad idea 'cause now everything's wrong
You put your hands under my shirt
Undid my bra and said these words
"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"
You pushed me up against my wall
Threw my clothes down on the floor
"Darling, are you ready for more?"
It was a bad idea calling you up
Was such a bad idea, I'm totally ******
It was a bad idea to think I could stop
Was such a bad idea, I can't get enough
It was a bad idea meeting you so late
Was such a bad idea 'cause I can't think straight
It was a bad idea to bring you back home
Was such a bad idea, I need to be alone
You put your hands under my shirt
Undid my bra and said these words
"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"
You pushed me up against my wall
Threw my clothes down on the floor
"Darling, are you ready for more?"
It was a bad idea calling you up
Was such a bad idea, I'm totally ******
It was a bad idea to think I could stop
Was such a bad idea, I can't get enough
Bad idea, bad idea
Bad idea, bad idea
You put your hands under my shirt
Undid my bra and said these words
"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"
You pushed me up against my wall
Threw my clothes down on the floor
You said "Darling, are you ready for more?"
It was a bad idea calling you up
Was such a bad idea, I'm totally ******
It was a bad idea calling you up
Was such a bad idea, I'm totally ******
It was a bad idea to think I could stop
Was such a bad idea, I can't get enough

what if i texted you

"how are you"

or something along those lines.

No, i'm sorry's or indirect poems.

would you read it?

would you respond?

would you actually care?
care in the way you used to?

i know you don't like all the poems i write about you. you do always give the rest a like. it makes me happy, but it destroys me more than heals.

I love you, i guess. but who cares?

Arranged meetings
Arranged greetings
Arranged smiles and well designed spoken lines ...
They always give me orders:
“Now sit ... speak ...
Introduce your self ... No, wait the girl doesn’t speak ...
just listen ...
Listen till your temper starts to peak ...
Be nice, Be kind ...
Ignore his immature idiotic mind ... “
So I sit and I listen and I ignore ... but I speak!
And when I speak ... the freak ... disappears!

Drown me in acrylics
So I may become art,
Abstract at best;

And write my hidden name in charcoal
A hundred times upon my skin
So I won't forget.