Joy-For King and Country

Lately, I've been reading, watching the nightly news
Don't seem to find the rhythm, just wanna sing the blues
Feels like a song that never stops
Feels like it's never gonna stop

Gotta get that fire, fire, back in my bones
Before my heart, heart, turns into stone
So somebody please pass the megaphone
I'll shout it on the count of three
One, two, three

Oh, hear my prayer tonight, I'm singing to the sky
Give me strength to raise my voice, let me testify
Oh, hear my prayer tonight, 'cause this is do or die
The time has come to make a choice

And I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move you, let it move you
Yeah, I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you
Yeah-eh, back when I was young, my eyes were full of life
But now that I am older, I live at the speed of light
Feels like the cycle never stops
Feels like it's never gonna stop

Gotta get that fire, fire, back in my bones
Before my heart, heart, turns into stone
So somebody please pass the megaphone
I'll shout it on the count of three
One, two, three

Oh, hear my prayer tonight, I'm singing to the sky
Give me strength to raise my voice, let me testify
Oh, hear my prayer tonight, 'cause this is do or die
The time has come to make a choice

And I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you
Yeah, I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of night
Oh, with You by my side, I'm stepping into the light

I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you
I need that joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart, down in my heart to stay
I need that joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart, down in my heart to stay

And I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you
Oh, I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of night
Oh, with You by my side, I'm stepping into the light
I choose joy
Go let it move you, go let it move you, go let it move you

I need that joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart, down in my heart to stay
I need that joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart, down in my heart to stay

Eye of the storm- Ryan Stevenson

In the eye of the storm
You remain in control
And in the middle of the war
You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor
When my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me
In the eye of the storm

When the solid ground is falling out from underneath my feet
Between the black skies, and my red eyes, I can barely see
When I realize I've been sold out by my friends and my family
I can feel the rain reminding me

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me
In the eye of the storm

Mmm, when my hopes and dreams are far from me
And I'm runnin' out of faith
I see the future I picture slowly fade away
And when the tears of pain and heartache
Are pouring down my face
I find my peace in Jesus' name

In the eye of the storm (yeah, yeah)
You remain in control (yes you do, Lord)
In the middle of the war
You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor
When my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me (Your love surrounds me)
In the eye of the storm (in the eye of the storm)

When the test comes in and the doctor says
I've only got a few months left
It's like a bitter pill I'm swallowing
I can barely take a breath
And when addiction steals my baby girl
And there's nothing I can do
My only hope is to trust You
I trust You, Lord

In the eye of the storm (yeah, yeah)
You remain in control
In the middle of the war (middle of the war)
You guard my soul (yeah!)
You alone are the anchor
When my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me (yeah!)
In the eye of the storm

You remain in control (yes you do, Lord)
In the middle of the war (in the middle of the war)
You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor
When my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me
In the eye of the storm

Oh, in the eye of
Lord, in the eye of the storm
I know You're watching me, yeah
Ay

When the storm is raging (when the storm is raging)
And my hope is gone (and my hope is gone, Lord)
When my flesh is failing
You're still holding on, oh whoa

When the storm is raging (the storm is raging)
And my hope is gone (and all my hope is gone)
When my flesh is failing (my flesh is failing)
You're still holding on, ooh

When the storm is raging (when the storm is raging)
And my hope is gone (and my hope is gone)
Even when my flesh is failing (flesh is failing)
You're still holding on, holding on

The Lord is my Shepherd
I have all that I need
He let's me rest in green meadows
He leads me beside peaceful streams
He renews my strength
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His Name
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid
For You are close beside me

Look at the stars
I am looking at them too
But your skin and bones
All so beautiful

I drew lines for you
Lines turned to words
Words to prose...
All so beautiful.

All so beautiful
Your cries and laughs
The unique curvature
All so beautiful.

The way love is
is hope in disguise
but it can be absolutely destructive

They do start from one thing
A question, a word, a misunderstanding
At first they go over your head
Compressed so no one tears shed
  They grow bigger and bigger
   It seems they will not grow smaller
    Fears start to arise
     They are for sure not on your side
      But I'm not a enslaved to fear
       A doubt won't make me shed a tear
         I know one who made this be
          You know his name maybe
            I might not be ok inside
             But he walks by my side
               So I'm not a enslaved to this fear, this doubt, this age
                 Their words cannot put me in a cage
                    They cannot make me thing bad about myself
                       I only believe one person's opinion and
                          its is myselfs

Take me to the rooftop
I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue
Tell me love is endless
Everybody says it's all okay, everybody says we're fine but
Guess someone else is what you need to make you feel alright
Know it's only human, but I never learn
You know the echos in my mind of shouts and slamming doors
And I’ve done better with goodbyes

Be my escape by Relient K

I've given up on giving up slowly,
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away
And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.
I'm giving up on doing this alone now
'Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I gotta get outta here
'Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do what You can with me
But I can't ask You to give what You already gave
'Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing
Where to go, promise I'm going because
I've gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I've gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.
I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were you
So were you

A dance with death
It is a elegant thing
A dance with a slowing pace

A dance with death
Is all I need
To make this decision

A dance with death
For this decision
Between two people

A dance with death
To decide between you
or him

So let me have this dance
Death
So I can decide between them

Lets waltz
with a trail of blood following us

Lets foxtrot
with a beat to sufficate to

Lets tango
to the beat of my heart slowing

Death
Thanks for the dance
To decide between the two people


Thanks

School
It lies to us

Car accident caused death
No, a bullet did people!
HE was fresh in life
Only 15

That women at least is arrested
for taking his life with a bullet
when he was fresh with life
only 15

I don't know intentions
behind the worst ending
when a boy was fresh with life
only 15

Hopefully I see him above
when my time has come
when he was fresh with life
only 15

I miss him
that boy was encouraging
fresh in life
and only 15

Pain.
One thing people don't want but get

The Heartache.
Because of you, I think that it is my fault that something happens

That's the truth

That is my pain I feel everyday behind every smile.
Hidden underneath my breath with every burst of laughter.

The pain has made love and myself a stranger to myself

The pain you feel because of everyone looking at you like you are not there.

The pain that you know only a few people can see you.

Love and Pain
Fear of Falling Apart Everyday
It is a big disaster.
This is me.

Here as in heaven-Elevation Worship


The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us!

The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

The atmosphere is changing now here in this place
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us!

Surrounded by Your love, Jesus
We need Your love, oh, oh oh
Feel the song, feel the song, oh
Come on let's sing this together
From the depths of our hearts tonight

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
Here as in heaven

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
Here as in heaven

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
Here as in heaven!

Here as in heaven, Lord
Sweep through this place, Lord
Sweep through this place, Lord
Heaven come to earth
Heaven come to earth
Kingdom come

A miracle can happen now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

A miracle can happen now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Asmodeus visits in the night
Whispers in my ear
The cravings deep inside
Grow with his words
A warmth deep inside flourishes as the sun sets

It grows and spreads
The farther it goes
The more I want satisfaction
To be held roughly
To be a pleasure object
Asmodeus whispers become a feeling...Lust

Lustful thoughts
Need, no, want
To be pinned
Tied and Felt up
With his lust, I just want to be the good girl

While his whispers happen
Hands wander
Clothes become something unbearable
And no matter how close
It isn't close enough
What was just whispers is louder now

He talking now
Guiding, gently, softly
Expressing wants that are becoming needs
Needing and wanting to become a blurry line
Pleasure at the words leaving his mouth

Lost in his words now
Lost in the moment
So close, so close for both
Wanting to close at the same time
Holding on with every fiber

Every fiber holding on
Until its impossible and you feel it
That ecstasy and thrill
That feeling you feel through your whole body
Muscles tensed up and out of breath...his voice has quieted...for now

"Don't leave me here alone, you are the one I love"
And I am so far from telling you the truth, now
Because you keep pulling me down
So take my heart out, that will make it better

Try coming to find me alone at midnight
Inside my mind, trying get things right
No sleep, up all week, wasting time
I think that something's wrong with me

Now I am crying behind my computer
I'm trying to look cuter
So I am getting thinner
Because Barbies never end up alone

But then you give me ten CC's
Of something super sweet
I'm getting drowsy
Then you are telling me countdown from ten

Ten, Nine, Eight
You've got me hooked now
Seven, Six,
You kiss me on the cheek
Five-four-three-two,one
Don't put me back where you found me

White is pure
Black is dark
Gray is humanity
-------------------------------
Her/His
Undeserving
Meaningful
And
Neat
                         friend/lover

Love is a privlage
A privlage most deserve
  A privlage that makes people happy
    But i do not deserve love
     I am a dying corpse
      I push people away because of fear
       I cannot say that I am a slave to fear
        But I am at times anyways
         I do not deserve self-love
          Ugly and Fat
            I lie to the people I love about my feeling
             So I cut to punish  
              And thats why I dont deserve love and I give it to others

Painful experiences teach valuable lessons. Firstly, without some of the things that happened to me, I would not be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be as humbled or able to help others so willingly as I am now. After all, painful days with my trauma and mental illness taught me that life isn’t about the future but the next breath. For some, it can teach them the power of their god or that there isn’t a god in my case. The healing process is where the lessons are learned in my experience.

Maple syrup, two pancakes and grossly made hashbrowns...
you forever have a place in this life as a friend,
and a place in my heart.
for without you,
I wouldnt be as strong as I am nor be as wise.
I wouldnt be spending 50 bucks a month for confidence nor going out for our dates? coffee breaks from the world

Chai milk tea, boba of some sort, and you...
you changed me for the better, y/n
this might have been made on the fly and im tired as hell
i wanted you to understand that,
this big ol heart of mine,
cares more than you can dream
and loves you more than you can imagine...

Sometimes all I want to say is ***** life
Sometimes all I want to do is end it all
So my legs get marked and my back gets burned
Everyone says It will get better
Does it?

I've tried thinking that but it failed
What comes is depression, pulling me deeper
What starts as small, very little scratches
What starts out as not so often
Can it get deadly?

Deadly, the word that comes up often
Deadly snakes, Deadly spiders, and other things
But the deadly cuts are deep
But the deadly cuts are many
Can I get help?

Help is what I need
Help causes hope is what they say
Because Help has four letters
Also, hope does too
Does that mean it is true?

Does it mean it is trustworthy
That I can get better
Better, they say, comes from taking pills
Better, they say, comes from talking
But not isolating?

But isolating is the way I cope
But what follows is the marks and the burns
Then the tables turn
They start feeding me pills that can be meals
They start giving me more therapy than I can get sleep
But isn't that help?

Yes...Sometimes it helps when I say ***** life
Yes...Sometimes it helps when I want to end it all
But my legs still get marked and my back burned
So I try to look like I'm fine
But does it mean that I am Ok?

No, but don't worry because
My cuts are not deep
My burns are not bad
I take my pills
I go to therapy
So I get help.

But the question is...
Does it help?

Mended by Matthew West

How many times can one heart break?
It was never supposed to be this way
Look in the mirror, but you find someone you never thought you'd be
Oh, but I can still recognize
The one I love in your tear-stained eyes
I know you might not see him now, so lift your eyes to me
When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home
When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended
You see your worst mistake
But I see the price I paid
There's nothing you could ever do, to lose what grace has won
So hold on, it's not the end
No, this is where love's work begins
I'm making all things new
And I will make a miracle of you
When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home
When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended
I see my child, my beloved
The new creation you're becoming
You see the scars from when you fell
But I see the stories they will tell
You see worthless but I see priceless
You see pain, but I see a purpose
You see unworthy, undeserving
But I see you through eyes of mercy
When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
You're not too far gone
You're one step away from home
When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet, no
When you see wounded, I see mended
Oh, I see mended
Woah, oh I see mended
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

Depression means darkness
Depression means exaustion to no end
Depression means pressure to hide it
Depression means to eat to comfort myself
Depression means sleepless nights
Depression means sleepful days
Depression means sadness
Depression means isolation
Depression means people will overpity you because of it
Depession means nothing can help me but me

Don't you get it?
Maybe if seeing wasn't always believing
Just maybe for once it wasn't just that
You would understand ALL of me
ALL of the unseeable conditions
ALL of the unseeable injuries I have acquired through life
Just if you can read deeper into me you could believe

A tree's roots
Deep in the ground
Like little fingers
Calling me down

Says it softly
A few simple words
In a poem maybe
Or is it a tune?

It sticks in my head
Its sickly rhyme
Echoing and never changing
Word unspoken ring

"Pretty girls and pretty boys
Come meet my roots
Come and lie down
And hurt no more

Listen to me, pretty being
Listen closely and fully
Open your ears
And  open your heart, dear

Pretty things happen here
No pain nor suffering
Just me hugging you
Me and the worms"

I scream near the tree
A shovel waiting this time
Tempting and calling me
Over and over again

I scream at the roots
And at the godforsaken tree
I scream at the branches
And the cursed leaves its bears

"Why, why, why!
Why do you say such things?
I want nothing to do with you!
With you and your worms!"

My feet won't move
The godforsaken tree has me
Its roots hold me here
Here staring at the tree

Quietly it speaks again
Quietly it says a new tune
Softly it pushes me foreward
Closer to it personal shovel

"Hush, hush, you want this
You want to be held
You want to pick it up
So you can be held once more

Hush, hush, pretty being
Let my roots hold you
Let me comfort you
Let me, pretty being,let me

Shush, shush, stop your crying
Stop your harsh words
And stop those tears
I am here now
Let me wipe those tears"

I collapse into the earth
I fall into its roots
Crying and heaving
I fall into its embrace
My end is here and i bid farewell

This is a case that include you, my current crush.
     Of what you have caused
     And what you have done to me

Like when I hear your singing or normal voice
     It makes me want to hear you speak for enterities on end
Like when you smile your real smile
     It makes me want to freeze time right there just so I can soak it in for a few more minutes
Just even you being...You
     Causes my heart to flutter
     Like a butterfly's wing
     No, like a hummingbird's wings is more accurate

The diagnosis I am giving to myself is I am falling for you
     I am falling deeper into love with who you are

The treatment plan is to make you mine
     To make sure you are good for me and get to know you
     Then make you mine
      


That would be nice
Right?

Two bodies
Intertwined
Nails and kisses
So close

Noises of delight
One higher
One lower
So harmonic

Pace quickens
Closer and closer
Fantasies accomplished
All the while, you want it to never end

But a warmth spreads
Faces contort
Breaths heave
As it comes to a close

Uncomfortable truth.
It might be silent after.
At least they know.

For the record
I have those feelings
The feelings I promised I didn't have

An uncomfortable truth to admit
Don't be silent
I don't act upon it

So I hear the trio of voices once more
I can't afford to be a coward
So I listen to these voices

They say it together
Uncomfortable silence and an uncomfortable truth
Doesn't this hurt?

Well, yes but it's apart of adulting
“The guilt of not saying something?”
Well, I do have that but what about the guilt if I do?
“For the record, this is self-destructive.”
Well, For the record, I know. Let those feelings die.

I'll let my uncomfortable truth become a memory
When that memory fades, we will stay just Best Friends
Best friends forever that don't have feelings like that for you anymore

So I got asked,
"Would you rather...An Uncomforting Truth or A Comforting Lie?"
And I think the truth is always best...

If he knew...
I see blue tinted skies
With those ocean eyes in view

If he knew...
Im here in his storm
Holding on to him and those ocean eyes