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 Dec 2014 Bear Feelings
paige v
they say she's a rainbow
but all I saw in her was a million shades of black and gray;
she's more like an earthquake,
destroying everything in sight
with one bad decision based on a million thoughts.
she may have been beautiful
but she split the world in half
with trembling cries and sliced wrists.
she's a natural disaster,
no one saw her coming
suicide is not beautiful.
 Dec 2014 Bear Feelings
Gypsy
The smoke seeping from your lungs
Into mine
Like the venom in my blood
Pulsing
Reaping
Reminding me of the cold in his breath
The nails down someone else's back
Then back to you
Back to me
I carve your name over and over
Until the words become air
In my lungs
In your head
In my head
I find myself trapped in this cage
In this life
In this love
In you
In me
I am lost
In the smoke within your breath
The promise you made
to love me
means more than
the promise I made
to love myself
About everyone in my life, ever.
 Dec 2014 Bear Feelings
Joey
You cannot deny me your breath
the warmth I feel on my face and neck
I will die and melt
into the floorboard as a speck
a fleck, picked off by a flea
from me, your heart must not go
it guides my every decision
I mold myself
from your footsteps
the imprint in sifting sand you create with your feet
you cannot deny me your flesh
or this body I occupy will
crumble down folding in on itself
decrepitated it will lay
deflated on the ground
you cannot deny me your eyes
they scream to my ears
and keep me awake
else I sleep through the rest of my life
eyes open but nothing inside.
 Dec 2014 Bear Feelings
Eman
Intangible like the scent of mist
                                           that was him
Delightful like a thoughtful gift
                                          that was him
Pure as the first tears of a child
                                           that was him
Provoking like revenge fantasies
                                           that was him
Sudden like catastrophies
                                          that was him
Enlightened like the city lights
                                           that was him
Honest like a father's vows
                                          that was him
Vivid like the colored crows
                                          that was him
Distinguished like the sun among all stars
                                         that was him
Detailed like the winter's sky
                                           that was him
The only man that made me cry
                                           that was him
I guess that was him.
 Dec 2014 Bear Feelings
Bluebird
she tells me that i lack a little something
to be her perfect man.
it's such a pretty way to tell me that i
will never be him.
oh the irony
I need the sun and it's warm arms around me,
I need earth's sweet soil to stain my bare soles,
and soul,


I need the thick air of a humid day,
with the rain clouds hanging over me,
threatening to obstruct my evening plans of star gazing,


I long for the warm, ***** waters of the lakes of my home town,
the gargling bubbles in the back of my throat when I accidentally breathe underwater,
and I long for the pain in my ear canal when water gets trapped,
from pretending to be a mermaid for too long,


I am impatient for the ache on my shoulders and face, from UV exposure,
too much of a good thing does exist,
but it's nothing Aloe Vera can't soothe,


I am anxious for cold beers on the porch with my best friends
in the home we live in together,
and I am anxious for the mornings wasted laying in bed,
with the morning sunshine through my lace curtains as my only alarm clock,


I want the bruised legs, scraped knees, freckles, and ***** hands
that only these short lived summer months can bring to me,
I want the careless, reckless, "it's only 2 am" behaviors that come with a late sunset,
and I want the happiness that comes with the scent of flowers entangled in my hair,
a late sunrise, and warm winds.
 May 2013 Bear Feelings
Inkyu Kim
Alone in a room,
Music slowly plays,
Songs of loneliness,
Songs of loss,
Yet songs of love.

Concealed in darkness,
Retreating from reality.
Every strums of the guitar,
Pulling me deeper and deeper

away

My eyelids close,
Allowing a tear out,

In darkness,
In blindness,
A disoriented, dark, slowly fading light, shines on.

A beacon of hope and sorrow,

Alone in the room.
Concealment in the dark
Quiet screams for help.

Life sure is a mystery...

One whistle of a wind,
I am on top of the world,
One drop of rain,
I am in a room concealed by dark.

The light shines in a dark room resistant,
Yet so futile.

A knock on the door remains ignored,
A child, once afraid of the dark, embraces it's warm concealment.

Absolute quiet as the guitar continues to strum.

Songs, oh the songs.
The sweet melodies.
Words that taste like nectar.
Notes that speaks to the very soul.

Just for one moment,
A song makes sense.
Nonsense becomes reality.

Have I finally gone mad?
Have I refuted reality?

My heart becomes darker and colder.
Yet I embrace it.

Slipping away

The knock becomes more anxious.
A voice pleading.

Slipping

Gone into the concealing darkness

The beacon of hope turns off.
The Lonely Light dies out,
The room is left dark.

Nothing to disturb this peace.
Pitch black and quiet.
Warm and alone in this room.

A Single Wish.

Slipping Away

Into Infinite Concealment of a Blank Room.

The door swings opens,
Shining the light of reality into the room,
Disturbing the sacred peace of the darkness.

But I am already gone.

*Slipped Away To A Better World
 May 2013 Bear Feelings
Pen Lux
my laughing is a sign of panic
due to the indigestible actions;
the piercing made me *****.

slowing down to an interlude;
the interest is waiting patiently
for you to make your way through.

destruction of self is a bar fight:
joining in those actions isn't on
my schedule this evening, nor
shall it be for as long as I can help
myself from myself, in the reflections
of fear that are so often transparent
when I find myself surrounded by
those who only wish to forget.

the forgetting is what forces me to focus.

crowds are a collective of nervousness
and a strangely large number of people
who refuse to be honest because they're
trying to hide the fact that they care about
what every set of eyes has to think, and the
self-centered inner voice
that thinks they actually care
about what they themselves are doing,
or look like.
the sad and beautiful truth is that people
are too worried
about themselves to think of anyone else.
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