It's been a long time, since I have sat at this page. Enough heartbreak will take you away from the things you once loved. Oh how I long for a summer full of love. The sun on my skin, as you drive your car. Sand between our toes as you play with my hair. The breath on my neck as you hug me from behind. To be with someone you can be yourself around is like winning the lottery. I know I will not stay, because I leave before it gets too good. I never let them get too close to break my heart

Walking down the street on a rainy night
He grabs my hand and pulls me close
This must be what falling in love feels like
He gently brushes my hair off my face
I smile nervously
One look in his eyes and I fold
Can he read my mind?
How scared I am of kissing him?
I hope I still remember how
Our lips meet and all my fears slip away
I can breathe
He pulls away and smiles at me
My heart is pulsing in my throat
I can smell him on my skin
I don't want this night to end.

Cut so deep
I thought I forgot how to breathe
A pain so real, a comfort it has become
Self-sabotage at its finest
But what if this time, it works out for the best?
A song so sad, just enough to get me down
How do you feel when you get high?
Do you think of me, when the time feels right?
Driving past my house wondering who's truck is in the driveway
A bandaid that only covers the pain
To deal with it would break me
But here I am
Spilling my vulnerabilities like word ***** onto a page
Past lovers wondering who my words are about
I carry many heartbreak tales with me
Secrets of each that I keep to myself
Because I once was messy, but now I am found

How does it feel
To never really know the real you?
Looking in the mirror
Without any sort of recognition
Blank stares and soulless eyes
Who have you become?
You look right through me
As if I am only a speck of dust
Floating down to the ground
While you have found yourself
Through other people
I have lost myself
To the one I thought loved me the most
It’s a tragic love story
Of boy meets girl

He’s got me thinking that
One
More outburst will break my back.

He’s not wrong.
I’m not solid.
I’m the journey no one wants to take.
Baggage.
I’m crazy.

I bleed dry for his happiness.
He dances on my weakness.
I’m forever stained.
Anger outbreaks and bruised thighs
I don’t know him when I look into his eyes.
I want to run and be alone.
I’m good at racing the other way
When things go array
I want to stray
And
Disappear.

I just want to be somebody’s everything.