Ammar

Ammar Nov 2018

Rummage

The flame,
it was meant to guard
Yet it raged
Leaving ruins.

With only the void as company
Redemption is all I seek, hastily.

Guilt is one tough son of a gun.

#redemption #mistakes #forgiveness

Ammar Oct 2018

Thriving

Fiends,
Striving to drag you down,
And of their frustration,
You found it hilarious.

Keep on fighting.

#depression #thriving #conquering #positive

Ammar Oct 2018

Adhd is..

Like living with a monkey,
monkey see monkey do,
Being distracted with everything,
Even when there's nothing.

Like having a hidden malicious hand,
Loves playing hide and seek,
Items seem to dissappear,
As if they were warped to another world,
By a magical hand in your head.

Like having thousands of voices pleading for your attention,
Yet you hear none,
Just unintelligible sentences.

Like you're always on a pill of joy,
Yet feel so hollow,
It can be a double edged sword,
As your awareness of others' emotions,
Is comparable to an infant's knowledge of the Lorem Ipsum.

Like having your psyche torn apart,
A battlefield,
When you're fighting for control,
You lay waste to your own mind,
Even if you won,
The exhaustion and lack of motivation,
is a sign of a pyrrhic victory.

Adhd is ******* exhausting, especially with a comorbid.

#adhd #struggles #pain #endeavour #strive

Ammar Oct 2018

Last time

Your scream overwhelms the soothing ambience,
Echoing throughout the room,
Tears dropping on the floor,
Yet is it mine or yours?

I promised you paradise,
Yet I showered you with wrath,
I promised you solace,
Yet I placed upon you an unimaginable burden.

Hilarious,
How a single pill could have prevented the calamity,
Regardless,
The Hour of reckoning has begun,
All the chances I've had perishes at the line,
The line that was drawn eons ago.

I swear this is the last time.

#disorders #pain #calamity #anger #grief

Ammar Sep 2018

Stars

Seeking refuge from the deafening salvoes,
Apathy, anger, anxiety overran the haven created,
The haven constructed for the remnants,
The remnants of joy, excitement, and gratitude.

As the last bit of hope begins to diminish,
A sudden silence looms in the air,
When that anxiety, that anger, that apathy is clear within view,
The obsoleted notion of their danger becomes clear as day,
Destructive they are not; but desperate,
Desperate to be acknowledged and accepted.

The danger that once besets the haven,
Was an extreme measure of desperation,
Only when silence is imposed,
Only when they have gained the attention they seek so direly,
Only then will the feud for the psyche ends,
And a common ground can be found.

All it took was silence and understanding;
That spectacular quiet.

Happy Thursday.

#empathy #guide #light #understanding

Ammar Sep 2018

Help

Expressions,
Words of a broken soul,
Uttered in a trivial manner,
Yet it is not a trivial matter,
Pleading that the echoes of a destroyed mind,
Reaches the hearts of those that are kind.

That time will come :)

#depression

Ammar Sep 2018

****

Reminiscing,
Those times when pain was just a boogeyman,
A tale of a child's story,
And happiness was the true reality,
But now, pain is as real as the sky,
And happiness is nothing but an empty promise.

Letting go,
of the times when I felt like a ghost,
trying to stay alive with this hole,
doing my best not to play foul,
doing my best to do things right,
wishing that some form of release can be found.

Understanding,
all these people with stupid choices,
how could they have made proper choices,
when they weren't told of the choices they had?
How could they have known there are diamonds,
when no one taught them how to dig?

****