What do I do
You're not here anymore
My rock is gone
I no longer hear your laugh anymore
Instead, I hear tears hitting the floor
I can't hold you in my arms
But now you're in the stars

Goodbye is painful, but it must be said
But I know one day I'll see you again
My love and my greatest friend

This is Me

I have been knocked down and passed over so many times
It's hard to figure out if I should keep fighting, or ignore it all and more on
People have told me that I'm not good enough
That I will never be enough
That I will fail
That I will never achieve my dreams

But they are wrong

I'm not going to give up
I'm not going to give in
I'm not going to let them win
I'm not going to let them tell me that I'm not good enough

I'm going to decide that
ME
NOT Them

I'm not going to let them tell me my dreams will fail
Maybe they feel that way because they don't dream big enough

This is MY life
I will live it by MY rule
And with every breath I take, I will fight

I will fight for a better tomorrow
I will fight for a better today
I will fight for who I am
I will fight for my dreams
I will fight to keep going

Just because I have been knocked down countless times, doesn't mean I have given up
It means I will have the strength to get up again and move on

My failure does not define me
My past does not define me
The only person who can define me, is me

Only I can make the choices that I make
Only I can learn from my past so I can make a better future for myself
Only I can decide whether or not I'm worthy
Only I can decide whether or not my dreams will fail
Only I can decide whether or not this is all worth it

After all
This is MY life
And I REFUSE to let any other people live it for me

Just so you know
I will always be here
A text
A call
And I’ll be there

Until one day
I finally say goodbye

Again and again
Out of control
Don’t know why

Emotions run wild
No remorse
No regret
Saying things you’ll never forget

Remember all those nights
The big arguments over small things
The good days and the bad
The smiles and the tears
The “hi” and then “goodbye”
The “*******” and “I love you too”

Remember that night months ago
I poured my heart out to you
Tears running down my face
Begging you to say “I love you, it’s going to be okay”
Instead, you said no

I broke you
You broke me
We shattered each other

Now it’s time to say goodbye

It comes when you least expect it
The pain
The hurt
The sorrow

You can’t breathe
Can’t think straight
Can’t even fight how you feel

All you feel is pain
All you feel is hurt
All you feel is alone

Surrounded by people
Surrounded by laughter
Surrounded by joy

You feel nothing

No happiness
No joy
Nothing

All you can think of is the river
The river flowing red
Your grip
Your hurt
Your sorrow

It always happens when you least expect it

The hurt
The pain
The tears

They won’t go away
She’s tried to make it stop, but that only makes it worse

The feeling stays
The pain intensifies
The tears won’t stop flowing

She’s drowning
No one see it

She’s hurting
No one noticed

She’s crying out for help
No ones listening

She’s shattered like glass
No one wants to help pick up the broken pieces

So that’s how she stays

Hurting
Crying
Drowning
Shattered
And watching the world pass her by

Is it normal to feel so alone, even when you’re surrounded by people

Is it normal to want to be close to someone, but keep them at a safe distance so you don’t risk getting hurt again

Is it normal to start caring for someone, and then see them leave without a goodbye

Is it normal to pour your heart out to someone and then have them throw it back in your face

Is it normal to want to live your life to the fullest, yet still feel empty inside

Is it normal to be healing, but always still feel like you’re broken

Is it normal to hate someone, but still want to love them

Is it normal to see life going so fast, and start to wish that it would just stop

Is it normal to feel so many of your emotions, but wish that you could feel nothing at all instead

Is all of this normal?

It’s broken
My heart
It was yours from day one
Now it feels ripped apart
Torn to pieces
Thrown aside
Waiting for someone who will try to fix it

They can try
But it will never be the same
It’ll be mended, but never whole
They can try to get me to feel better
But you’re the only one who can do that

You made me smile in ways no one else could
Laugh even when I didn’t want to
And love, even when me heart was cold as ice

You melted my frozen heart
Even when I was sure no one could
But you could
And you did

So why?
Why did you play with my emotions?
Why do you get mad when we don’t see eye to eye?

Why did I give you my heart?

Did you just want something to play with?
Someone you could mess with and then leave?

Did I mean anything to you?
Anything at all?

Or was I just a phase
Something just to help you pass the time until something better came along?

I guess so
I should’ve known better
I refused to see the signs

I wanted it to be you
I had hoped it would be you
But I was wrong about you.....again

I guess I’ll never learn
My heart will stay in pieces
Until you decide to come and fix it the way only you can

Because you were the one who broke me in the first place

Give me one good reason
One good reason to fight when it feels like I can’t
One good reason to get up and face the odds
One good reason not to give up and let them win
One good reason to forgive those who have hurt me countless times
One good reason to let go of my last and fight for my future
One good reason to move on
One good reason to find a solution to all the hurt I feel
One good reason to love those who I feel like can’t be loved
One good reason to trust those who have betrayed me

One good reason
That’s all I’m asking for
......Just one

Can you give it to me?

Just one good reason will be enough for me

So please, give me one

I love you to the moon and back
The world's most common phrase
You hear it form minutes, hours and days

Do people say it as a dare?
Do they say it because they care?
Do they say it because they're lonely
Do they say it because they want you as their one and only?

How far is it to the moon and back?
Days, months or years
The saying is just music to our ears

Only say it if you care
Don't say it as a dare
Don't say it because you're lonely
Say it because you found your one and only

"I love you" is a wonderful start
Just mean it from the bottom of your heart

One thing that will make a hardened heart crack
Is hearing the words "I love you to the moon and back"

Hurt
Anger
Trust
Betrayal

Everyone knows they happen
You just don't figure it out until it happens to you

Hurt and anger go hand in hand with trust and betrayal
You trust someone
Then, almost immediately, they turn around and betray you

You're hurt
You never thought they would do that to you
You feel wounded
It cuts deep
You're also angry

Angry because you trusted them in the first place
Angry because you feel stupid for even believing they cared
Angry because you invested into them
Only to be stabbed in the back in return
Angry because you know you wasted on that person, when they didn't even deserve to see your face or hear your name


But try, even though it's hard, try to find the bright-side

You weeded a toxic person out of your life
You got closer to people you barely spent time with
You got to figure out who really cares, and those who don't
You got to learn part of what's best for you
You got to learn a part of what you need to thrive

Don't let a toxic person bring you down
Let them hurt you
But then turn right back around and tell them
"I don't need you. You changed my world for the worst. But now I know I'm stronger without you. I will thrive without you. But you did do me one favor. You made me realize that I have people who care, not people whose support had to be bought."

So let them hurt you
Let them see that you have feelings
Let them know how you feel
But don't let it destroy you

Let it build you into a stronger person
Let it build you into the person you are meant to be
Let it show others that you won't be taken down so easily

Most of all

Let it show you that you do matter
That people do care
That you are not alone in this world
That you are resilient
That you are stronger than this world ever thought possible

Because you are strong
You are powerful
You are a warrior
You are fierce

And above all

YOU ARE LOVED

Don't let anyone tell you different

You are who you are
No one should make you try to change it

Life
It is what it is
We can't force it to change to make us happy

People try to make us change to make them happy
But we cannot be anything than what we already are

So tell me something,
If you don't mind

Why?

Why do you try to push your beliefs on me?
Why do you try to get me to conform to your ideas?
Trying so hard to make them mine, and make me believe them the way you do

Why do you try to get me to change who I am?
Am I not good enough for you?
Is the way I think and feel and act different than the way you do?

Good

Because I am not like you
I don't ever intend to be like you
Because what works for you does not work for anyone else
Now you may think similarly to someone else, but it's not the same

Who I am is not for you, or anyone else, to decide
It's for me to decide

Me and me alone

People cannot make me into something, or someone, I'm not
Just because they don't like who I am now

Well, if I like who I am, then why should your opinion matter to me?

It doesn't!

So let me be who I am
Let me go and live my life
Without you breathing down my neck

That's the only way I can be who I truly am

You can either join me on my journey
Or you can watch from the sidelines

Either way I will make this happen
I will be me

No judgement
No restrictions
No opinions

Just me and who I am meant to be

There are people we love
People we hate
People we love to hate
But, hate to love

They hurt you, but you let them stay
They love you, but then they leave without a glance back
It has always been this way

Hurt and hover
Love and leave

The heart
The power house of our bodies
Keeping us alive
24/7
Night and day

The heart keeps us alive
Even if we feel broken
But what if the heart is what’s broken?

A broken heart will hurt for what feels like eons
A broken heart is a result of loving someone, then realizing they don’t feel the same
Then they decide to leave you

Alone
Broken
Picking up the pieces of your heart by yourself

You start to think
What happened?
Did I do something wrong?
Were we even a good match to start with?
When did it all go wrong?

You just sit there
With your heart breaking
Tears streaming down your eyes, pooling at your feet

A broken heart never lets you forget
The good
The bad
The happy
The sad
Because the person that broke your heart, will always be IN your heart

You want to hate them
You want to find anyone you can to make them feel the way you feel
To hurt the way you hurt

But the heart is a tricky thing to understand

You want to hurt the idiot who hurt you
But you also want what’s best for them
You want them to feel the pain that you feel
But you don’t want them to hurt the way you’re hurting

Our heart is a thing of irony

The heart makes us feel things we don’t want to feel
It makes us do things we would never do
It makes us fall for people we know are bad for us
We fall for them anyway

But eventually, with time, the broken heart will heal

The broken heart will never really be the same though
It is hard to put something back together once it has been broken

But a broken heart can help you as well
It can help you be more cautious when you start to fall for someone
It can make you stronger because it broke, but it healed
It can teach you about who you are
....you still need to know that

But the broken heart did heal
It doesn’t look the same
It still works the same
It was sewn back together crookedly
But it still beats

Just because the heart breaks, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, or unworthy of love
It just means you’re getting stronger
For when you find that person who can successfully mend your heart
You’ll love them much more than you thought possible

After all, hearts (and people) get broken
But the broken live on

So tell me
What will you do

Will your heart break, and then will you become broken?

OR

Will your heart break, and then you put it back together the best you can
And wait until you find that one person who will make it completely whole again?

That’s a choice I’ve already made
But what about you?
What choice will you make about your heart if it gets broken?

Words cannot define who we are
Only we can

People tell us things to bring us down
They will also tell us thing to build us up

Either way, words will do both to us

Words can help you find who you are
They can also make you lose yourself in their confusion

Whose words will you listen to?

Will you listen to what people tell you, when they say you are not enough
When they say you will fail
When they say you will never amount to anything

OR

Will you listen to what YOU tell yourself?
That you are enough
That you will succeed
That you will do things no one has ever imagined

Those are the words we need to hear
Those are the words that will build people up
Words that will make them stronger

So, now you decide

Whose words will you listen to?

Scars
They are the wounds that will always be attached to us
Some of us have scars on our hearts
Where we loved someone, only to find out they didn't feel the same
Scars from where the heart was broken, but never fully healed

Scars on our brains from bad memories
From things we remember, but so desperately wish we could forget

Scars on our back from where people have stabbed us too many times
From where you let someone into your life, held them close, only to find out they were using, and had no intention to stay

Scars on your shoulders from when you were forced to choose
From when two people you loved got in a fight, and threw you in the middle of it all
From they pulled on your arms, forcing you to pick one or the other
Then they desert you for following your heart and trusting your instincts
Either way, in the end, they both left
That was always going to be the end result

Scars from your closest friends when they said "All is forgotten and in the past", yet they never truly forget
Somehow, whatever happened, will always be relevant

Then there are the scars that life gives you
All the bad experiences that you try so hard to bury, yet are still so close to the surface
Constantly reminding you that you are never enough
Even though you try so hard to convince yourself otherwise
You are always trying to convince yourself that you ARE enough

Then there are the scars that you have given yourself
The ones you so desperately try to hide
The ones you don't want anyone to see because you're so scared of what they'll say
The scars you hide because you want to do this on your own
You want to show people that you are stronger than they think you are...even though it doesn't feel like it
The scars that are on your wrists from when you wanted everything to end...and still do

Everyone of us has scars
Sometimes it just takes a while for people to notice them

But scars aren't all bad
They are proof

Proof that you struggled
Proof that you wanted to end everything the only way that you knew how
Proof that you've fought countless battles
Proof that you are, and always will be, victorious
Proof that you are broken, and that the broken live on
Proof that you've survived
Proof that you're still fighting for everything to get better...even when you think it won't
Proof that you won't give up or give in
Proof that no matter what happens, you will fight harder than you ever have before

And when the war is won, you will be able to say, "I am stronger than I have ever been, and NO ONE will ever tear me down"

That's what a scar is

All of us have them
We just need people to look deeper than the surface to find them, and help us heal