Sometimes your death hurts me deeply…
As deafening scream inside me

And is not even that I wanted you back in my life
We changed so much…
Our worlds does not had nothing to do

Is just that it hurts that you don't exist anymore
because even if our lives had never been blended again
knowing that you exist gave me happiness
I wished SO MUCH for you…

Really…
sometimes it hurts so bad that the air I breathe
is not yours anymore…
that the moon I see can no longer be seen by you …
That I was left remembering alone how much I loved you
and the beauteous way you loved me…

It hurts...

I was driving and thinking
I'm a deep thinker when I'm driving…
Sometimes when I'm eating, or taking a shower...

but without ramble
I was thinking…
No, thinking no…
I was feeling
Feeling so connected to this life
So much words got accumulated in my head
in my chest
I would love to have a piece of paper to write
but I think even I had one I could not do that
because they were so fast inside
as neuronal transmissions
like constellations forming, so beautiful inside me…

I just decided to enjoy them
Tried to catch some

And I swear I got ones until yesterday’s night
And today…
Today they escaped from me…

I was thinking maybe that it is what real beauty is
A vibrant and powerful touch of inspiration

Most of the time we want to capture beauty,
to capture it until we have life…
But beauty does not want to be a prisoner
Beauty just wants to be…
it is ephemeral

So, enjoy it while it lasts

And that beautiful feeling of enjoying…
That feeling is what lasts forever.

When I die, I know my colors will spray away

I want blue to become oceans and sky
green, forests, jungles
red, kisses...
orange, sunsets and birds
brown, earth, sand…
yellow, sunflowers
pink, flamingos and petting
white, foam and peace
black, obsidian

I want violet to become dreams...

And I want turquoise to stay in your eyes...

To stay there... because is my favorite color
the one from where others are born in me...

and I want it to be forever yours...

And today your memory came suddenly
with that song  that we had never heard together,
with a lyric that I can´t understand
and even though… that melody sounded like you…
and what we had
when our love was so beautiful…

And my mouth drew a smile
not a sad one
maybe a nostalgic one for all the time that had passed
and how different is Life of what it used to be then...

And in a deep breath I thought
that I´m glad to coincide with you in this life...
I´m glad that you had been my first love