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 Apr 2021 emmie
Debbie Brindley
Why was I giving
such a perfect love
Then have it so cruely
taken away

I really thought
my perfect love
by my side would forever stay

Is this what life throws at you
in order to make you strong
Some of life's challenges
are just nasty
and feel so wrong

I don't want you
to leave me
on this earth all alone
Everythings so twisted
makes my body
as cold as stone

Some days are so dark
for me
I think of ways
for us to go together
But then I think of our children  
their love I truly treasure

So I try to see the good things
that I have in what is my life
And to be there
for our children
in the good times
and when there's strife

I know that I can't leave this place
So I shall carry on
with a broken heart
And love you
till the very end
Until death do us part
Sad days
 Apr 2021 emmie
Ems
its been a week
since we last spoke.
we used to talk every single day.
its been hard not to.

you used to always say
it takes you a week to miss someone.
so here i am
a week later
praying youll tell me you miss me.

but nothing.

i sit around all day
waiting for your name to appear on my phone
with a message saying
"i miss you"
"i want you back"

but i know that will never happen.
If I could have you back
for just one day,
I’d tell you all the things
I never did say…

I’d tell you I love you
and that I always will,
I’d tell you all my joys
even my little thrills.

I’d tell you my dreams
and sadness’s too,
I’d tell you my dark secrets
that you never knew…

I’d tell you about the love
deep in my heart,
I’d tell you of the day
I was torn apart…

I’d tell you how I miss you
and wish you were here,
I’d tell you everything
I hold so dear…

If I could have you back
for just one day,
I’d find a way
to continue the stay…
~
Sometimes the feeling of loss and grief can overtake you in a second, leaving tears streaming down your face. Sometimes, just by a smell, like the smell of lilacs floating through the air on a cool spring evening.

Just having a bad “Miss You Dad” day…
July 4th will be five years since he's been gone, it doesn't seem that long.
 Apr 2021 emmie
Elizabethanne
I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay
 Apr 2021 emmie
Nicole
Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
Unloveable
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone
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