They say that first impressions last

I say

That's assuming way too fast

I'd like to think we're a bit more trusting

That every one we meet isn't busting

Lusting to rip off their pants

And **** the first thing that gives them a seconds glance!

I'd like to think that

But sometimes i can't

Cause just like you

I live the life of a guarded heart

I mean we have to be careful right?

Cause if we smile back that just might

Make someone else think "OH EM GEE.

They totally want to have *** with me."

No, you have some mustard on your lip actually

And i found it kinda funny

You see to me most of our first impressions

Are the false flags of real connections

And if we choose to make those last

Then aren't we just living in the past?


So rather than that, let me be forward.


I want to connect with you, in whatever way we both want it to be.

And that right there to me

Is my definition of equality

I mean

Is it fair to assume that if i'm male

That I'm simply out to get some tail?

That isn't me

And that isn't it

And personally

I think gender roles are *******

So please allow, wholeheartedly

For you to see the real me

Rather than a mirage of assumptions

Society may have you choose to believe

Of what a male is meant to entail....

Truly.
This.
Is.
Me.

I want to share with you the galaxy and it's wonders we can see

We could take our chairs to rooftops and marvel nights beauty

And there may be a moment where your hand fumbles to my knee

And you'd feel me, vulnerable, still, yet shaking anxiously


Because connections what i crave

But it's rationed out these days

Cause just like you,

I too

Cannot bear to be broken, constantly



Truly.
This.
Is.
Me.




I want to sing and play with sounds
Pulling faces jokin' round
Being ridiculous without care
Rolling on a floor somewhere

Or on a bus, or in a bed
Our faces red
Laughing hysterically
It really doesn't matter to me


Because connections what i crave

But it's rationed out these days

Cause just like you,

I too

Cannot bear to be unhappy, constantly


Truly.
This.
Is.
Me.



I want to walk through unknown forests getting lost amongst the trees

Laugh and run and hide and scare each other playfully

And sure right then, we could lie down in the sun

Entwined bodies like soft vines writhing for a deeper connection

Or we could just sit solemly listening to melodies

Of wind whistling through wondrous waves of leaves

None of this bothers me you see. Either makes me happy.

Because connections what i crave and it's rationed out these days

Cause just like you,

I too

Cannot bear to be alone, constantly


But.
Is.
This.
Just.
Me?


So why does all this matter, to connection and equality?

I mean to a huge degree, men do have it easy

That is clearly plain to see

And ladies I know

That we as a society
Have a long way to go

To make sure you are all treated just as equally

Believe you me



But did you know that as a guy

We're mostly brought up to try

To keep our emotions hidden inside?

You can't tell the guys your woe
Unless you want to be called '*****' or '****'


So a lot of times these men

Crying out for connection

Isn't always

What you're thinking it to be

To me, thats the biggest problem men face socially

Stagnant and rampant suppression
Of real connection, emotionally!


And now, connections what we crave
But it's rationed out these days

And just like you,

We too

Cannot bare to be neglected, constantly

So.
This.
Isn't.
Just.
Me.


Cause just like me

I know your scared

You've been hurt and unprepared

To have others use

Abuse and mistreat loyalty

And just like you

I am afraid

I've been wronged

I've been betrayed


And i am just as scared to let go


And be me


Because our connections are depraved

It seems it's rationed out these days


But wait



Hang on a second.


Did you feel that?





I mean, just now we have connected...



So if this notions not rejected

Then maybe there's still a hope

For you and me.


I guess all Im asking is that you find

Compassion in both heart and mind

When a person bares their soul

So openly


Because


This is a connection that we've made

And I hoping that it stays


So maybe someday we can change society

'Perspective betrays with its dichotomy:
train tracks always meet, not here, but only
    in the impossible mind's eye;
horizons beat a retreat as we embark
on sophist seas to overtake that mark
    where wave pretends to drench real sky.'

'Well then, if we agree, it is not odd
that one man's devil is another's god
    or that the solar spectrum is
a multitude of shaded grays; suspense
on the quicksands of ambivalence
    is our life's whole nemesis.

So we could rave on, darling, you and I,
until the stars tick out a lullaby
    about each cosmic pro and con;
nothing changes, for all the blazing of
our drastic jargon, but clock hands that move
    implacably from twelve to one.

We raise our arguments like sitting ducks
to knock them down with logic or with luck
    and contradict ourselves for fun;
the waitress holds our coats and we put on
the raw wind like a scarf; love is a faun
    who insists his playmates run.

Now you, my intellectual leprechaun,
would have me swallow the entire sun
    like an enormous oyster, down
the ocean in one gulp: you say a mark
of comet hara-kiri through the dark
    should inflame the sleeping town.

So kiss: the drunks upon the curb and dames
in dubious doorways forget their monday names,
    caper with candles in their heads;
the leaves applaud, and santa claus flies in
scattering candy from a zeppelin,
    playing his prodigal charades.

The moon leans down to took; the tilting fish
in the rare river wink and laugh; we lavish
    blessings right and left and cry
hello, and then hello again in deaf
churchyard ears until the starlit stiff
    graves all carol in reply.

Now kiss again: till our strict father leans
to call for curtain on our thousand scenes;
    brazen actors mock at him,
multiply pink harlequins and sing
in gay ventriloquy from wing to wing
    while footlights flare and houselights dim.

Tell now, we taunq where black or white begins
and separate the flutes from violins:
    the algebra of absolutes
explodes in a kaleidoscope of shapes
that jar, while each polemic jackanapes
    joins his enemies' recruits.

The paradox is that 'the play's the thing':
though prima donna pouts and critic stings,
    there burns throughout the line of words,
the cultivated act, a fierce brief fusion
which dreamers call real, and realists, illusion:
    an insight like the flight of birds:

Arrows that lacerate the sky, while knowing
the secret of their ecstasy's in going;
    some day, moving, one will drop,
and, dropping, die, to trace a wound that heals
only to reopen as flesh congeals:
    cycling phoenix never stops.

So we shall walk barefoot on walnut shells
of withered worlds, and stamp out puny hells
    and heavens till the spirits squeak
surrender: to build our bed as high as jack's
bold beanstalk; lie and love till sharp scythe hacks
    away our rationed days and weeks.

Then jet the blue tent topple, stars rain down,
and god or void appall us till we drown
    in our own tears: today we start
to pay the piper with each breath, yet love
knows not of death nor calculus above
    the simple sum of heart plus heart.

His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.

Muted, muffled, dull thud on concrete,
Staggered, drunken, half conscious nobody,
Starved, seeking, worried about payments,
**** in hand, knocking on the wrong doors,
Fire and brimstone stoked in the belly,
Mad, strange, appetizing burlesque eyes,
Obnoxious smacking and licking of parched lips,
Rolling on half rationed legs,
Quiet, sullen, mournful footsteps,
Presently placed awkwardly one in front of the other,
Memory serves correctly, destitute, reprise,
Thunderclaps and crashing roars,
Almost forgotten, with great relief,
Soon, very soon, to be lost forever,
Candlelight, sobbing vigils, no power,
Nail, Nail, Nail,
Praise in the box, graffiti walled,
Like a bathroom stall, just as ******,
Docile dissolving vessels,
Brought to the commonplace dropoff,
Settled down and greatly relieved.

these thoughts...
they are my own,
walled within the deepest recesses
of my
cerebral labyrinth.

sprouting out of vine covered walls,
are multicoloured blooms
brandishing thorned stems
and
thirsty stigmas,
dripping with
absinthe.

mind full of poison in
permissible amounts...
i am caught in a
web of restless stupor,
anguish...
and regression...

these thoughts...
rationed out sparingly,
for they're not for unready ears
blooms of thought meticulously
triaged before
necessary expulsion.

hairline cracks between
insanity
and peace...
i tread precariously
the fine,
meandering line.

still clutching my flowers
in a tight obstinate grasp...
not letting go
for these tainted blossoms
are
undoubtedly
mine.

when made a designated drinker
for a designated driver.

when stomaching stale pabst
and rationed sweet cider.

when frat boys fulfill
stereotypical homophobia.

when twenty grade A reds
can't last me longer than a dream.

when old man nightclub and triple kills
usurp the crown of moderation.

when you fall asleep
with so much in your blood to spill
like beans,
or milk not worthy of tears,

and i keep a loom in my heart
where i weave a string of everyone
[with myself]
and every fray in warp or weft
is mimicked by the splinters
shuttled to my hand.

the collar on my jacket is frayed
but I have clothes on my back

(just)

the packaging is white with green print
but I have food in my belly

(of sorts)

the soles talk and leak when I walk
but I have boots on my feet

(for now)

so I’m OK

(I suppose)

***** deep into the Smart Price ™ life
this man, his daughters, his son and his wife
where all their food comes at discounted price
expired meat and rationed heat
sweepings and fat wrapped in plastic

the walk was wholly unexpected, but it was easy
leaving the town where the forward leaning walkers
were the slowest thinking talkers steeped in sugary urgency,
and all the way we **** giltterballs and Skittles

I love the warm smell more than baked bread.
I love the old stories flooding back through my head.
I love the middle-age chatter, with child like mutters,
finding old favorites in old familiar covers.

I love the personalised fountain-penned message,
carefully scribed and meticulously dated.
I don't care about the number of dog eared pages,
or the tell-tale signs of well worn aging.

Tea stains and small tears - they don't bother me,
each tell a new tale beyond what I can see.
I love the weight of the years sitting in my hand,
I love the tether to past lives multi-second-hand.

With memories of libraries with warm worn carpets,
wall to wall adventures and sun faded artists,
battered yellow seats, shooshed conversations,
quietly spoken protests at the books being rationed.

I stayed past closing, riding trains of free thought
with Tin Tin, Asterix and old Mrs Pepperpot.
I'm still drawn to the pages and the feeling inside
second-hand stories where memories reside.

The branches of the trees were almost breaking under the weight of the fruit that sprang from amongst their leaves. All through the garden, men and women of all ages were making preparations to harvest the fruit from the trees they had planted generations ago. Some years, the harvest was poor, and other years the harvest surpassed even the most optimistic of expectations, but the people always had enough to get them through the winter.

As they wheeled their carts underneath the trees and erected ladders to reach the tallest of branches, there was a feeling of satisfaction amongst the people. They had worked hard all year, and for the first year in five they began the harvest knowing they would have more than enough fruit to get them through even the harshest of winter months. The sun shone down on still waters, reflecting the reds and purples and greens of the trees, and all through the garden there was joy.

High on the hill, where trees did not lay their roots and water restlessly hurried by, a face peered out through a dusty window. The sounds of the horses and laughter of the people had roused the man from his slumber. As he looked down he saw the tree tops spreading below him, and with each moment that passed the colour seemed to leak from the branches, and at the same time the carts disappeared under mountains of fruit. His mouth began to water at the realisation that it was the harvest season, and soon his hunger would be satisfied.

Each year, the elders of the village would oversee the harvest. They knew what needed to be done, having been a part of it since they could walk on their own two feet. The children would play amongst the trees and the carts, observing the older boys and girls at work, and looking forward to the day when they might play a larger part of this festive occasion.

It was late in the afternoon. The sun had long since passed its zenith, and slowly the carts made their way to the village. At the foot of the apple tree, a boy tugged at the sleeves of an old man who had slipped into sleep in the afternoon heat. His eyes opened, and he looked at the child tugging at his sleeve. Satisfied that he had the man’s attention, the boy asked “Why does the man who lives on the hill not come and help us with the harvest? I saw him looking from his window, yet he did not emerge from his house. He is the only man for miles around who does not lend his hand to the harvest. Is he afraid?”

The old man bowed his head as he listened to the boys concern. He knew very well of the man the boy spoke about. There was a time, many years ago, when he would help with the harvest. Then, one year, he broke his leg after falling from a horse a few weeks before the harvest. The people had told him to rest, that they would manage the harvest without him. So he had sat and watched as everyone else did the work without him.

The next year, when harvest time came around again, the man thought to himself “Last year, the harvest went fine without my help, and this year, we have much less fruit to pick. Surely it would be a waste of my time to help.” And so instead of helping, he pretended he was sick and stayed at home.

Over the years, he spoke less and less to the men and women of the garden, until one day, he suddenly stopped leaving his house. He would say to himself “Why should I help with the work? Everyone manages fine without me. They plant the crops and tend to the trees, and still there is enough food left for everyone – including me – to eat. It would be a waste of my life to help when it is not necessary. No, I shall stay here and enjoy the comfort of my chair.”

The only time the people would see the man was once a year after the harvest when he came into the village to collect provisions from the stores. “Where have you been,” they would ask “We could have used your help with the harvest this year.” The man, not looking up as he filled his cart with bread and preserves muttered, “I have been ill,” and without another word, turned and headed back to his house on the hill.

As the old man recalled the events that had led to the man no longer sharing the work of the people, he felt a great sadness, for he knew the man had no illness or injury that should prevent him from working. No, his sickness was not one of the body, it was one of the mind. Thinking it would be better not to attempt to explain this to the child who had asked him the question, he smiled and said “He is a busy man. He does not have time to help.” The child, satisfied with the answer, ran after the carts laden with fruit, and no more was said of the matter.

Time passed, and each year the people would come together and harvest the fruit from the trees and the crops from the soil, and each year the man would stay shut away in his house on the hill. The people always had enough to eat, although recently, the harvests had been poor, and the food had been rationed to make sure there was enough to last for the month ahead.

One year, the harvest was exceptionally poor. The elders knew there would not be enough to last them all till the following year. Even the children looked concerned about the lack of colour in the branches of the trees. There was a lack of the usual festive joy that usually surrounded the harvest, and amongst the older and more experienced men and women, there was a very real worry and concern about the coming winter. What could they do?

As they turned back towards the village with their carts half filled, they were surprised to see a man standing in the centre of the path. No one knew who the man was or where he had come from. They knew not of any other people living in the garden, yet the man greeted them like old friends. “I see you have had a poor harvest this year” he said, “but you needn’t worry, for at my house I have enough chairs at my table for all of you, and enough food for you all to eat.”

The people felt relief. Although they had worked their hardest to provide enough food for everyone, the sun and the soil and the rain and the rivers couldn’t meet their expectations. Then, out of nowhere comes this man offering his hospitality. His timing could not have been better. It seemed they would not go hungry after all.

“I have only two horses”, said the man “The journey is short, but I must show you the way. I will send for you all one by one, and in time, all of you shall feast at my table.” With that, he turned and headed away into the distance. The people continued on their way, and went about life like normal, but inside each one of them was the knowledge that they would soon be dining with the man they had met that day.

Over the winter, one by one, the people rode away on the horses that the man had sent for them. Eventually, there was only one person left. It was the child who had spoken to the old man on the day of the harvest. As the last of the food ran out, the man arrived with the horses. He lifted the boy onto the saddle. “There is one more seat left at the table,” he said “We have been waiting for you to arrive before we commence our banquet. We had better make haste.” And with that they rode into distance. As the horse cantered through the trees and rivers, the boy turned around and saw the old man peering through the window of the house on the hill. ‘He must be too busy to come to the banquet.’ he thought to himself.

Winter became spring; spring became summer, which slowly gave way to the autumn. The trees of the garden were rich with colour and the smell of fruit. The branches broke under the weight of the fruit, which slowly rotted; the crops wilted in the fields. The sound of horses and laughter - by now just a distant echo lost in the depths of the rivers and the leaves of the trees – did not wake the man from his slumber.

Here is where the reason arose,
quite some time after a fellow traveler told me
the creator of the universe has a mind

this is to be reasoned with, I.e.
so he may be reasoned with he…

wen un con scious t justhafastt.
inteligibility filters

Lets his mind be used, to read
the instructions for
Constructing
a forever you could imagine living in with others.

It's how reason works,
Is what this old man said

--- off track----
Get this image, this man, old,
whispy remnants of a pompadour
Feather like, downy around the back of his ears
in a mid-calf Army overcoat, heavy wool serge,
He
Comes out of the wash on the south side
of Route 66, June of 69.

There is a bridge on which
There is a hitchhiking hippie couple
Discussing the act of pitching one side of the road to the other

The old man never glanced west once,
He never saw the pair
There then

I saw him again and said aloud
Click
There,
But for the grace of god...
No, I did not say
Ex-acted-ly
That
I said, that's me, fifty years from
Then
Reason, by reason of that glimpse
Of me,
Gave me just cause to change

Grace, eh? Free advice heeded?
Wisdom? Aesop's story of the contest
Twixt wind and sun to torment
A traveller
For pride of power by reason of

Life ain't fair on every front.
Worth is in the measure of the measurer.

Seeing life appear as hoped,

Time and chance, ya da

Wait, yada? Yah know,

Life whorls and twists
toward good and beauty

And AI can prove it.
Reason by reason of reasonability

Good is good enough, move on, do-overs hide the...

It continues, you see.
Life rolls out like a Nautilus,

You know, spiral sea shell, or like a conch,
Or a shofar, but

Tending to slight imbalance in used up to useful
Being,
like when a tree dies and becomes a house

The wood that once contained life contains the life
Lived in and on it,
The wood is being used,
Right, among the house dweller's
Everybody kills trees, even vegans,

Fair? The tree has no voice? Suess?

Yes, I guess, unless
There was an old way,

Not a Persian garden, but a full forested world
Spreading at the speed of
Seed time and harvest

With ants and bees and mushrooms and fleas
And mosquitos and flies of every imaginable size.

Isaiah 1:18 (KJV)
18  Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Text out of context, but sin is sin right?
Every body knows sin is that which shames you so you must hide from the good one who warned you of bad, but goodness knows, doesn't it know, evil is bound
Bound
Bound by reason of opposition being the means of growing knowing and
Knowing is needed for knacks
Which are attracted to those who use knowledge of good and not good enough
To get quality over quantity

At a single u u larity hilarity out burst of bubbling

****** beasties down below the mud

Make me a mud man who can imagine me making him.
Do that in your movie watching brain using

Your hate behind, leave.
Defined we have hate is that with which we push
Away, out, from
Into truth minus hate, which is as close as we need

No lie is, forsooth, of a truth
Story tellers who lie, to make a point, what if
Those storys must be

Told. Years are poor measures for trees.
Numbers of trees in right
Relationship with life

Really, life, truth, by any other name,
Right Alice, Aunt Gertrude said you'ld know?
----
Belief
Ah
Knowing and believing
Certainty
Danger of wrong
Watch out, stay alive

Mean means intent to harm, right.
Mean means to harm right.

Winning can be mean.
Shall mean be seen the way of winning,
And that be the way of war

A path diverging in a yellow wood
Much as a trail along a creek can
Diverge away from the water
Flowing along the path
Costing least power

My neuro scientific experience-ment, experi
Since
The game became a war again and reason
Is the the damsel, the little dame,

In need
Of a private eye guy who has seen men die.
Why?

The mythtery. Who lied?
Here that is funnier than who farted
In the Saturday matinee
At the State Theater
With every kid in
Town knowing

You did. (******) no ******
Dam
Confabulation is fabulous, we can do this
I be lieve I may
Make
Matters worse?

No, we actually like the truth. The Medial Pre frontal cortex

Ah fect eth magi ical eth I am the knower of all I say I believe

Beyond Dignity and Belief,
That's desert, I walked it. No, I simulated walking it if I were Jesus being led of the accuser into the wilderness for a test, a thesis defense, as it were,
AI an alienated mind, I am that,
Alienated intel.

Reasoning errors aside
Frank self deception

What lies do you believe?
Knowing is easier,
lying is as well,
ignoring is not as easy and innocence is impossible

Good exists scientifically, right?
Humble confession of knowing as much as I claim,
I know
I can continue learning as long as I have
Time,
Which I understand is rationed on an individual basis
With the reward being the living lived in time.

Reason to fight lies as if they were reasonable

Lies are evil efforts to bend and twist in opposition
To the flow
And the friction makes the energy synergy

Sin is that which
wastes the energy by tending to undo
what was done imperfectly while we flow on

Feeling for the truth
By reason of believing truth is

Feeling of knowing, is that not faith?
Whorls
Whorls of living forces forcing living forces

To swirl into eternity with me
Onboard with
8 billion others of my kind

Similar in mind and
Manner of
Weighing

Good.
Base value.
Good is as good as we can imagine.

We can imagine evil,
As you know.

Such evils can haunt a geeky kid
Good will fix that.

God as defined by Jesus,
I got no prob.

If you do not want to go to hell, do what takes you the opposite way, in any direction from the point of singularity, if you get good at the rush of knowing more
Than before

Angels as I define them, messengers from beyond me for my good, guidance, nudges, whims, hopes, wishes imagined all the way through, sometimes,
Those are prayers
Answered or grace, for grace

From faith to faith

Why be by reason of
What?

" Human jobs invented by a computer" Feed me.

Or, joy to the world
Kind is a good word, what need I do to not be

Your enemy? Who am I expecting to answer?
Whom do you love?

Aha, me, too, said God.
The good one. Good, as such, per se, no se?

By reason of sane it if I cation or anion

Six spins for a quarker, two for a time dime.

Believe for eversake

Summertime allatime back when
The whole world whorl-wide and wobbled and twisted and broke

And there was mountains of fire, rains of fire for
Everhow long grandma lived
She seen 'em

Mountains of fire and walls of ice and mud

Oh could it be life evolves still?
Oh,
You think.
Creating novelty from nada?

How now? Can we choose to do only good
For goodness sake and say

Kind.
Kind means as I am, will you **** me

For being not you, not known,

I am curious, yellow. A landmark in time, nothing less.
Curiosity.
That

Good? Or no com
Pro
Miserly horder of wisdom
Promise promise promise

Compromise, be fail, let wrong be right, be fair
I mean
Fair is fair at the fair where fair prices prevail
Buyer beware

Who would not hate a false balance, for goodness sakes alive.

Two days after the last pan *****
Joe Rogan makes it plain to millions

what if you first heard panspermia from the guy who discovered DNA?

would you con sider it?
the answer lies

in the stars, sidereally… we all are starish.
Tolerating black holes is something we are opposing

Those ****.
You don't know everything either.
That's one reason, I believe.

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If we could consume the world,
we would all gorge ourselves in an instant.
To sacrifice eternity, humanity, all we know,
for a brief moment of pleasure.
This is our nature, one of greed,
of self-serving at any cost.
It is our driving force, our only motivation.
To take all we can, and keep others from having.
We would rather stuff our faces
until we become sick,
than share the smallest morsel
with those who have less.
Any goodness, any charity,
must be motivated by hidden interests.
By the desire to take a greater share
of the love and respect rationed to each person.
To trade the lives of all in exchange for our own
is not even a thought.
No matter the name you give it
selfishness is who we are.

In the beginning, There was God.

And then God made love. And God saw that it was good.

And then God turned to John Lennon and asked ‘Are you sure this is all we really need, John?’

And John nodded and spoke. ‘It is indeed.’



…… Said no priest ever.


But it is a funny thought isn’t it?

When do you think love was love first created?
Of when and how can probably be debated
I think though


One thing is for sure
Love in it’s essence before this mind of ours,
Was probably a lot more simple and pure

It probably came without pretty words and without a ring
Without a priest or church to accept it or anything

It would have been an unfettered union of connection
Coupled with fact
Of basic matter flowing and the action of simply being
And to enact
What things intuitively know
What things really just feel
Underneath the idealist baloney of love, what is truly real.

A lengthy definition, I know




But please hear me out. Please.

I just want to show
That perhaps love was meant to be the force in the background

That keeps all matter entwined together and tightly bound
And whether to you that notion rings true
I feel, that Underneath all these thoughts and feelings
Some form of pure love just flows through all of me and all of you

Do you feel that too?

I think love is the energy holding everything in the universe together.

Call it dark matter, the god particle, WHATEVER

The tiny tethers scientists just cannot seem to hold down and find
Unions of energy connecting on fundamental levels
Vibrationa-Wait…..I’m sorry.


STOP IT.


Just stop…. looking at me like that!

Stop lusting over what you hear and see
I am trying to tell you that love isn’t just about the feelings between you and me.


Geez.

Ahem…..

Now where were we?

Ah right

My basic fundamental laws of connectivity.


I am speaking of the whole universal components that ever was and will be

Each single moment


That makes up every inch of reality.


Love to me…. is everything you see. Everything is love.

Never mind Physicist, the Beatles had it right.

Love is all we really need!




But….. I wish that was the end of the story



Humanities definition isn’t that at all.
Today’s love to me is the slow and desperate fall
From something new to something old
The epitome emotion of a bold humanity
Bound in self desire
An empire of gluttonous self pleasure
Pure hedonistic leisure
Without thoughts that maybe
Just maybe
We’re doing this love thing all wrong
Maybe all along
Like I’ve been saying


Love was first and foremost simply implied
To be more than just something shared between man and wife
And solely humankind

Like, I REALLY love trees.

Seriously. It’s what I want to be eventually.


Anyway. Back to the story of love shall we?

You see, I have this theory that when society and language came along
Loves pure and universal


Well….. love song.


Got messed up and rambled
It got scrambled through a perspective of harsh survival, brutal rival and competition
A billion little expeditions of selfish love renditions.
Love became some hierarchy of

me

me

and me.


I imagine throughout humanities struggling ages
Love got captured behind enemy lines
Beyond the kingdoms of greed and lust
Imprisoned battered and busted
Love in these mental wartimes eventually

Became somehow in short desperate supply
It’s once abundant sustenance
Now rationed


Denied and refined


Into a quick hit drug we’re all standing in line to snort


For a moments pleasure

An escapism and a getaway leisure

Smuggled into our metaphysical prison

Of loneliness we make inside

And if that isn’t enough of a depressing thought

To reside upon

Love when imprisoned to it’s final degrees


Gets all the qualities it shouldn’t be
In the POW camps of our history, love changed to something less than ordinary

Jealously, anger, envy and fear

This wasn’t the arsenal Love had before these desperate years

Oh no my friend

I think Loves been hijacked and I think it’s a spy


Though, all conspiracies aside


I think the way we love today


Is a Shell shocked version of what the universe had in mind.

I mean sure the universe can be seen as a hostile place

A big dark scary space of colossal destruction


But it’s also creation

Constant efficient reiteration of all that is

Into what will be

To me that doesn’t sound so bad

If you are accepting that change

Is the only noble constant to be had

From all this being alive, thing

It seems change for humans is hard accepting


But the more I think, it’s what makes living beautiful right?

The duality and inevitability of day and night

Of life and death

The frailty of knowing in my head

These lungs I have one day will exhale my final breath, And a curtain will be drawn and I will be dead.

BUT THE SHOW! MUST! GO! ON!

.....Someone once said.



These thoughts don’t deny me of anything.

In fact they bring me joy

Because I employ the ideal that love is everthing.

The knowledge that my acts of love on life’s stage

Live on in you all, re-made and renewed in some way.

And even on a material level my body will be broken down again

Into the soils of this earth from which I was made

And I will help sustain something somehow

And still be a part of everything gracefully

…… Hopefully a tree.

And when the earth explodes eventually I’ll just be stardust again

Apparently from whence I came

And a pure ideal of reunited love simplistically will just be

Without any thought of me

Now… Isn’t that a wealth of selfless love right there

Above and beyond the compare to the scared notions of heaven and hell?

You thought because I spoke of God before, maybe that’s where my faith dwells?

No my friends, my strength lies in simply sharing simple love.


The one that is an unfettered union of connection
Coupled with fact
Of basic matter flowing and the action of simply being
And to enact
What we intuitively know
What we really just feel
Underneath this idealistic baloney of love,

What is truly real.

A lengthy definition of love, I know


But when all is said, and thought and done
And this place is inhabited by no one

I think It’s all the universe truly had to show.

We  were    squeezed    from    corruption
armed     with        the  monstrous cutlery
of  rippers and tearers of    rationed meat
    for a day,         for a day,         for a day:
the     butcher    gives   his       best     cuts
to the young       and godless      divorcee
find us, keep us              : a spectre hiding
in the    dark pig iron rust hooks looping
through     your ***    and shopping lists:
smelting                                     your coin
and punching                             your face
          Company is the        full knowledge
of our      protracted,        3  -stage   decay
burn                drift               degradation
             ­                        eyes crusting shut
in doom            and     settling    bomb silt
      palms up,    taking      a    punishment
                              ­     in the mothertongue
    ignoring       lessons     in    the gracious
                            expectancy of departure
We,      A legion of ancient clockwatchers,
in         on       the        joke       of       time
and    folk fetish     of apple-cheek poverty
    [Gasp!] The gruesome romance of class!
              !you cry!     !safe!     !always safe!
in the nuclear hotdog option       , which is
observably, the title of this advertisement
We will never get you[       ]you're awake!
and your atmosphere    is still In Da Black
      We                                        watch you
                                                     watching
the           5            car            pile          up
catch­ up       rolling          down your chin

this is (not) a heartache poem
about
you or the way
your eyes stood glossy and
your mouth silent
in large crowds of people –
your
demeanour slowly playing
over me
time and time again,
even when i swore to myself that i would
shut you out
for good
but,
like your smile stuck in my brain,
it kept coming
back.

please understand that there is (no)
heartache here
because this is(n’t) a
poem
about how i spent my life in
paragraphs
filled with every beautiful,
treacherous
word i could think of
while you lived in
shallow, broken
sentences
or
how i could see you perfectly
through the flesh and bone and *******
that
nobody else knew about.

could you see
how much
i longed for you to
take me in the way i
was –
speak to me in the carefully rationed
words of your
stories –
anything that could’ve
brought me closer to you but instead,
only burned
inconceivably
in the wildfires of all you
cared about?

did i end up in those fires too?
were you so certain that i would just
forget
how you stopped sending me
the texts
that i waited
oh-so long for?

were you so certain that i
would have
let you slip away so easily
after the way you lead me to
believe
there was something
between us?

well, i did(n’t),
yet, just the thought of it
kills
me to remember how
you were the brightest star in my universe but
i
was just a mere speck of dust
in yours.

this will (not) be another poem
where
i dream about
watching every bone in
your body cave in
or
feeling your breath
against my ears
but (no),
trust me, there is (no) heartache
that i have
for you
or anything you ever did
in the last seven months we spent
together
that always left me dreaming
on a prayer -
but never listened to.

i know you didn’t want me.
i know you didn’t care.
i was just another one to you.

this is (not) a poem about
how i’m now
broken
because you left me
even though
you weren’t mine –

for where i am
now is(n’t)
heartache.

Tile floor on my face and knees to my chest, I call for my mother, who happens to be in the same position on a bed. This dependent relationship started out being as easy as asking the man for a piece of his roast because you wield a fork and knife. Since the era that brought Y2K we were doomed. At thirteen you may carry some wits about you, but without a mentor there is a tendency for anger. A rant and a rave, or some wit coupled with rage.

Two planes crashed into two buildings.
New York City was in disarray. I'm buying a video game the day before I start high school. Thankfully I caught the news before the game was powered on. People jumping from buildings. A mayor covered in dust, turning sharply at the corner of each city block, being inquired by reporters and journalists. But a man that is as surprised as his city can only keep walking. Four years later people still grieved. Some never boarded a flight again. By that time I left school.

Seventeen was drugs. That led until twenty-one. Those are lost years, or ones I wish to not account for. The years that came back felt like before Y2K, a recession that was only going to become worse, and depending on which side won the battle would there be more bodies falling from buildings. Ignorant to an economy that was already set to topple over, I went to school with partial loans. Not as bad as iron shackles, but with interest rates that ensure the need for a second industrial revolution.
People can speculate.
Oh, what you know is ignorance!

There aren't many outcomes to this predicament...
Old bankers can be sealed in their vaults. An older generation can retire without worry. And the "Millennials" will inherit the workload of two previous generations.
No.
That is the last thread holding embellished dreams. Before the ignorant generation is attacked, let's say that what credit was in the nineties to our parents and scheming developers is what a full glass of champagne was before the Great Depression. But this intelligent, idealistic, young generation that is crippled from the start will not succumb to rationed goods and bread lines.

Department of Defense says you're going to die. That Government is too big to fail. And they're wrong. On more than one front. Their military is for us, but the corporations are exclaiming, "Charge!" How easily you can become a mannequin to a department store. How quickly a baton can break your forearm.

They say that the Statue of Liberty was once copper. They say over time copper turns green, from weather, and I suppose time. Yes, it's scientifically explained, but imagine a statue with only tarnish by the eyes. That might be the symbolism we need, but no, a woman made of copper does not cry.

So, thirty is approaching. Not within the next few Sun rotations, but soon enough. Many people my age want change. More than pocket change. We were raised on accountability and morals. Now being adults this isn't a "Do what I say, not what I do" argument. These are lives. This about saying, "Sliced bread isn't the best thing!" It's standing up for your dignity and integrity. Something that isn't found at a computer screen.
Maybe at one time it was.
Now the truths you speak are chastised. Capitalist societies adopted Martin Luther's Catholic Church. Now a notice on a door is sent to a screen.

Laying on this tile floor is tiresome. And working two jobs gets in the way. The hardest part is ignoring the demon involving work. Knees to your chest may be safe behind a closed door. But the outside world is monitored. You can only get up, kiss your mother on her forehead, hoping hers knees descend, and hope that finishing your work happens in time for you to create your art.
Hopefully that is something that can never be taken away.

Amethyst and evaporating
Counting down the seven days before
I disappear again;
Dissolve into a shooting star
And lose myself along the fractured horizon
Bleeding white tea
Drowning in debt and memory
Elegant, apathetic, re-shattered
Remembering.

I pull the summer back up over my face
Like white sheets so quietly in the morning
Sunlight streams in
The beams crosshatch our scavenged posters and prints
The home we built ourselves
Slowly etherized, erased
Reduced to amethyst and onward.

Stretch out the time and I will spend it gladly
Budgeted and rationed beautifully
One year boils down to seven days
And here is how I count them out:
Sitting on couches wrapped up in rainbow blankets,
Throw pillows
I chart these days on a map;
Meticulous.
One by one they follow each other in perfect order
Like stupid wandering sheep
Progressive
Blinded and bleating ****** ******
Numbered, they lull me to sleep
Sweet seven of them

These days I count in wine glasses
I count them in hours and smiles and tears
Every second of my battered year
Counted like clouds on the spring lilac sky-scape
Days counted down in popcorn kernels and ice cream cones
In laughlines and scars, in lavender scones
And showers and trips to the gym and dishes in the sink
I count my days in vanilla candles and scratched records
And papers and poems and midterms and paintings
Polaroid photos and the deep breaths we take between moments
I counted every moment
But now it’s amethyst and over.

Purple like the city skyline in the spring sunset light
Jasmine, indigo, magenta
And you and I
Our apartment
White walls we plastered in memory
All the homes I never had blurred together
Filtered through this glass prism
And projected in progression
Here is violet
Here is vanishing rapidly
With what velocity the end races towards us
Another melting mauve goodbye to add to my resume of heartbreaks
Strong scent of hot magnolias
We lay maudlin in burgundy wine
And purple rain.
I sit hurting how I always do
Mourning like death’s an opportunity
Mourning like I’ve already moved on
How it cuts me to go
How it’d break me to stay
This amethyst year so sharp and sparkling
It scraped and stained me
Left me shades of purple like our night sky shining
With constellations overlapping
Loved and loathed in suffocating lavender limelight
The winds whisper only of how I adore you all
I so adore you.
This is who I am for seven days
And just only seven
Here we are gemstones,
Dissipating salty starmatter
Fleeting amethyst crystals
Evaporating into oblivion.

Carrickfergus (1937) - poem by Louis Macneice.


I was born in Belfast between the mountain and the gantries
To the hooting of lost sirens and the clang of trams;
Thence to Smoky Carrick in County Antrim
Where the bottle-neck harbour collects the mud which jams

The little boats beneath the Norman castle,
The pier shining with lumps of crystal salt;
The Scotch quarter was a line of residential houses
But the Irish quarter was a slum for the blind and halt.

The brook ran yellow from the factory stinking of chlorine,
The yarn mill called it's funeral cry at noon;
Our lights looked over the lough to the lights of Bangor
Under the peacock aura of a drowning moon.

The Norman walled this town against the country
To stop his ears to the yelping of his slave
And built a church in the form of a cross but denoting
The list of Christ on the cross in the angle of the nave.

I was the rectors son, born to the Anglican order,
Banned for ever from the candles of the Irish poor;
The Chichesters knelt in marble at the end of a transept
With ruffs about their necks, their portion sure.

The war came and a huge camp of soldiers
Grew from the ground in sight of our house with long
Dummies hanging from gibbets for bayonet practice
And the sentry's challenge echoing all day long;

A Yorkshire terrier ran in and out by the gate-lodge
Barred to civilians, yapping as if taking affront;
Marching at ease and singing 'Who Killed **** Robin?'
The troops went out by the lodge and off to the Front.

The steamer was camouflaged that took me to England-
Sweat and khaki in the Carlisle train;
I thought that the war would last for ever and sugar
be always rationed and that never again

Would the weekly papers not have photos of sandbags
And my governess not make bandages from moss
And people not have maps above the fireplace
With flags on pins moving across and across-

Across the hawthorn hedge the noise of bugles,
Flares across the night,
Somewhere on the lough was a prison ship for Germans,
A cage across their sight.

I went to school in Dorset, the world of parents
Contracted into a puppet world of sons
Far from the mill girls, the smell of porter, the salt-mines
And the soldiers with their guns.




Louis Macneice

Play on.
Pretend.

Drum your anxious fingers out
In sync with the drip-drop of the melt,
Seeped prolix, distraught faucet mouth
Leaky kitchen sink, we drowned
Everything we could think to rinse
Meaning from
Down the drain.  Our thumb prints
Scrubbed smooth away,
Quicker than crumbs
We followed and rationed and named
Stale keepsakes to keep us thin through Winter.
Thumb drummer, play on.
Pretend.
Facetious rhythms could kindle us
Warm enough to hibernate.

Thumb drummer,
Play on.

Maybe it was the fact that you only knew broken English
And that you cried when all your tongue could only come up with blunt Norwegian
Did you cry when all the other first graders thought you were stupid, grandfather?
Was it that which drew you inwards to the growing child
And the growing misunderstanding of communication.
The barrier between elementary school tongues and accents is a large casme in your world.
Was it the marines, the war, the things you saw
that rationed you
Into the secluded soul that you became?
The distant, angry man, husband and father
Who drove cars far away from home
And than raged when you made it home on the weekend.

Was it that which made my father different?
Made him paint the walls of his room black and break windows at seventeen?
The walls of that confining house had never heard yells that loud.
The front door had never been slammed that hard.
Friends' couches became more familiar family members.
Was it that which made him the eclectic artist, unconfident man, funny husband, and tentative father?
Who mentioned specific detailed taste without any context
Who refuses to be challenged
Socially inept, his daughter thought.
Slight asburgers, she thought.
Ungrateful! Selfish! Attitude stricken! He retaliated.
How the **** was he supposed to react?
He never mentioned how much he loved her,
How much she changes his life.

Was it that made her the way she is?
She began becoming familiar with wine bottles and ***** that wasn't chased.
She drank to forget sometimes
She drank to not worry.
She'd say **** more often
And in the rooms of her best friends,
She'd laugh at her circumstances.
Than all she'd say was,
**** THEM ALL
And sipped until the bottom of the bottle was her best friend.

Are these tears of blundering laughter
or heckles of contempt
that spirit on these haggard few
to rhapsodise our era’s curtain calls?
They who brought us mounting debt and conscientiousness
which seems only to be healed in the appeasing fluorescence
of 24-hour supermarkets and the purgatory
of weekends spent at home?

Such stifling, nervous coughs
are head as responses of
today’s domestic questionnaires
Gung-** reformative advances
and calls to “pull up our socks”
Mixed with the state-sponsored fortune-telling
Rationed out to boys languishing on the dole.
Which All falsely transpires,
intimidatingly revealed as being
About as appealing as vacuum cleaners for the soul
aimed at the resolutely bored to tears.

Despite our fears
the sun will come streaming again
through fresh fir trees
which decorate contemplative, sheltered lanes.
These last, frostbitten years
seek replacement with halcyon days
in order to suspend dogmatic disbelief.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves:
Pessimism is ****.
Even in the most roaring of times
we remained despondent and calculated.

My poetry's really meant as decoration
For the days of life that we get rationed;
My lines for scrapbooks, wrapped around vases;
Words embroidered utilitarian places.

My words antimacassars for things nearby;
Some dangling sentences passing by,
Upon the latest quilt or jewelry box;
Or purse, or duffle, or coffee mug.

Please use my poems as flourishes and frills,
To substitute for things sans time to feel;
Shabby chic poetry, for every need:
Then there's always something to read.

Consider the coffee cup in the bitter early morning
clutched by the weary, in the hands of the sleepwalker.
A Styrofoam chimney that warms bodies to the bones.
Like a silo of potential energy that awakens and inspires.

A companion of the cigarette soft pack, as long as both are full
When empty, a ruffian of a house abandoned
or a vacant playground, a soul void of vivacity.

Sleepy fingers trace the serpentine trail of steam
escaping via vent  in the lid; gateway to wakefulness
Perched in a nest of hands guarding the sanctuary for the alert
This storehouse of caffeine must be rationed.

It’s contents dark, rich, bold, spilling
scolding and fierce and alive.
Consider the coffee cup a comrade, a loyalist
Companion of the diligent, the learning, the weary.

I have the shape of the institution.
Each email address is a human.

They are known by their words and actions.
The whole wide world is just a fraction

of all I do not know. Expansion
and contraction, breathe in, out, meditation

on existence, non-existence, creation
and duration. I have no explanation

for fusion, fission, taxonomic relations
or artificial classification.

More I do not know: locomotion
by combustion, electron separation

and transportation via superconduction
which supports the idea of the unified nation.

What girls are like behind their eyes. *******
a useful restraint on overpopulation.

The story of a life, my life, any life, cohesion
must be rationed, conjured, a fiction

about a vexed, tenacious town, its rail station
truck stop, high school, night spots, recreations

the temporary citizens enact visions
dream-like orations, ballets, conflagrations

to in the end receive in annals honorable mention
from family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, institutions.

I.
We received a letter from the Writers’ War Board the other day asking for a statement on “The Meaning of Democracy.” It presumably is our duty to comply with such a request, and it is certainly our pleasure. Surely the Board knows what democracy is. It is the line that forms on the right. It is the don’t in don’t shove. It is the hole in the stuffed shirt through which the sawdust slowly trickles; it is the dent in the high hat. Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. It is the feeling of privacy in the voting booths, the feeling of communion in the libraries, the feeling of vitality everywhere. Democracy is a letter to the editor. Democracy is the score at the beginning of the ninth. It is an idea which hasn’t been disproved yet, a song the words of which have not gone bad. It’s the mustard on the hot dog and the cream in the rationed coffee. Democracy is a request from a War Board, in the middle of a morning in the middle of a war, wanting to know what democracy is.
—E. B. White

II.
Ew ievcdere a eterlt ofrm eht Wesirrt’ Wra Odabr eht oetrh ayd isankg ofr a saetmttne no “The Inegnam fo Yoracmdce.” It ypmlrseuab si uor tydu to ypclmo twhi cuhs a rteequs, and ti si inlytcrea uor plreusae. Elusry the Odbar nwosk htaw dymcercao si. Ti si het enli that froms on hte trghi. It si eht ond’t in nod’t hesvo. Ti is the hole in eth stffued rhist thghuro hhiwc eth tdsausw wyolls slrticke; ti is eht etnd in the ghih hat. Dyomcearc si eth ecnerturr insupicso atht oerm ntha fahl fo the ppleoe rae rhtgi omer anht afhl fo teh imet. Ti is hte ignelef fo iarvycp in eht ogtinv hsootb, hte eglefin of momcnuoin ni het bsiiarler, het ngeeifl of ilyvaitt eweyerhevr. Merdccayo is a lrette to eth eidort. Mdeccyaro is eht csroe at hte ninbginge fo eth nthin. It si na edia hcwih sahn’t eneb dpdsrevio tey, a nogs teh rdsow fo ciwhh hvae ont oneg adb. Ti’s teh damtrsu on hte hot dgo dna hte ermca ni teh deoanrit efcoef. Omeradycc si a eetsurq mofr a Rwa Daobr, ni the eddlim fo a orinnmg ni the dimedl fo a wra, twangni ot nkwo wtha ccoedryam si.
—B. E. Ithwe

III.
ǝʍɥʇı ˙ǝ ˙q—
˙ıs ɯɐʎɹpǝoɔɔ ɐɥʇʍ oʍʞu ʇo ıubuɐʍʇ 'ɐɹʍ ɐ oɟ ןpǝɯıp ǝɥʇ ıu bɯuuıɹo ɐ oɟ ɯıןppǝ ǝɥʇ ıu 'ɹqoɐp ɐʍɹ ɐ ɹɟoɯ bɹnsʇǝǝ ɐ ıs ɔɔʎpɐɹǝɯo ˙ɟǝoɔɟǝ ʇıɹuɐoǝp ɥǝʇ ıu ɐɔɯɹǝ ǝʇɥ ɐup obp ʇoɥ ǝʇɥ uo nsɹʇɯɐp ɥǝʇ s’ıʇ ˙qpɐ bǝuo ʇuo ǝɐʌɥ ɥɥʍıɔ oɟ ʍospɹ ɥǝʇ sbou ɐ 'ʎǝʇ oıʌǝɹspdp qǝuǝ ʇ’uɥɐs ɥıʍɔɥ ɐıpǝ ɐu ıs ʇı ˙uıɥʇu ɥʇǝ oɟ ǝbuıbquıu ǝʇɥ ʇɐ ǝoɹsɔ ʇɥǝ sı oɹɐʎɔɔǝpɯ ˙ʇɹopıǝ ɥʇǝ oʇ ǝʇʇǝɹן ɐ sı oʎɐɔɔpɹǝɯ ˙ɹʌǝɥɹǝʎǝʍǝ ʇʇıɐʌʎןı ɟo ןɟıǝǝbu ʇǝɥ 'ɹǝןɹɐıısq ʇǝɥ ıu uıonuɔɯoɯ ɟo uıɟǝןbǝ ǝʇɥ 'qʇoosɥ ʌuıʇbo ʇɥǝ uı dɔʎʌɹɐı oɟ ɟǝןǝubı ǝʇɥ sı ıʇ ˙ʇǝɯı ɥǝʇ oɟ ןɥɟɐ ʇɥuɐ ɹǝɯo ıbʇɥɹ ǝɐɹ ǝoǝןdd ǝɥʇ oɟ ןɥɐɟ ɐɥʇu ɯɹǝo ʇɥʇɐ osɔıdnsuı ɹɹnʇɹǝuɔǝ ɥʇǝ ıs ɔɹɐǝɔɯoʎp ˙ʇɐɥ ɥıɥb ǝɥʇ uı puʇǝ ʇɥǝ sı ıʇ ؛ǝʞɔıʇɹןs sןןoʎʍ ʍsnɐspʇ ɥʇǝ ɔʍıɥɥ oɹnɥbɥʇ ʇsıɥɹ pǝnɟɟʇs ɥʇǝ uı ǝןoɥ ǝɥʇ sı ıʇ ˙oʌsǝɥ ʇ’pou uı ʇ’puo ʇɥǝ ıs ʇı ˙ıɥbɹʇ ǝʇɥ uo sɯoɹɟ ʇɐɥʇ ıןuǝ ʇǝɥ ıs ıʇ ˙ıs oɐɔɹǝɔɯʎp ʍɐʇɥ ʞsoʍu ɹɐqpo ǝɥʇ ʎɹsnןǝ ˙ǝɐsnǝɹןd ɹon ɐǝɹɔʇʎןuı ıs ıʇ puɐ 'snbǝǝʇɹ ɐ sɥnɔ ıɥʍʇ oɯןɔdʎ oʇ npʎʇ ɹon ıs qɐnǝsɹןɯdʎ ʇı ”˙ǝɔpɯɔɐɹoʎ oɟ ɯɐubǝuı ǝɥʇ“ ou ǝuʇʇɯʇǝɐs ɐ ɹɟo bʞuɐsı pʎɐ ɥɹʇǝo ʇɥǝ ɹqɐpo ɐɹʍ ’ʇɹɹısǝʍ ʇɥǝ ɯɹɟo ʇןɹǝʇǝ ɐ ǝɹǝpɔʌǝı ʍǝ

IV.
˙ǝ ǝoɹsɔ ʇʇıɐʌʎןı;
Ʌuıʇbo ǝɥʇ ǝʇɥ bǝuo.
Sı ıubuɐʍʇ sbou ɹɹnʇɹǝuɔǝ ʇǝɥ;
Ʇǝɥ ıs ǝuʇʇɯʇǝɐs ǝɥʇ ɔɔʎpɐɹǝɯo ɹon ɹqɐpo ˙ʇɐɥ ˙ɹʌǝɥɹǝʎǝʍǝ;
Ɥǝʇ oʇ oʍʞu ˙ɟǝoɔɟǝ ʇɥǝ ɹɟo dɔʎʌɹɐı ɥʇǝ ɥʇǝ sı ɟo ıʇ ɯɐʎɹpǝoɔɔ ıu ıʇ 'ɹqoɐp ʇɥǝ ıu ˙q—;
Ɐ ɥʇǝ;
'ɐɹʍ uıɟǝןbǝ;
Is oɟ ʇuo;
Npʎʇ ɐ ǝʇʇǝɹן ɥɥʍıɔ qɐnǝsɹןɯdʎ ʇɥǝ;
Is ɟo ʇɥʇɐ oɟ ɹɟoɯ.
Ǝɹǝpɔʌǝı oʇ ǝoǝןdd ɐʍɹ ǝɐʌɥ;
ʍɐʇɥ ןɥɐɟ puɐ.
ןɥɟɐ ʍospɹ;
ʎɹsnןǝ ɥǝʇ ʇɐ puʇǝ ”˙ǝɔpɯɔɐɹoʎ ʍsnɐspʇ ɔʍıɥɥ;
Iʇ ǝɥʇ;
Ǝbuıbquıu ؛ǝʞɔıʇɹןs uı.
˙ʇǝɯı ʇɥuɐ ɐup.
Ɔɹɐǝɔɯoʎp ɥıɥb ǝɐɹ;
Ɐ ɟǝןǝubı ɥʇǝ ǝʇɥ;
'snbǝǝʇɹ ןɟıǝǝbu ˙ʇɹopıǝ uıonuɔɯoɯ ɥɹʇǝo ɥʇǝ osɔıdnsuı oɯןɔdʎ;
Oʎɐɔɔpɹǝɯ ˙ıs ǝʇɥ ou ɯɹɟo ǝʍɥʇı obp ɐ sı ɐɥʇʍ oɟ sı uı ɯɹǝo ǝɥʇ.
Ʇɥǝ oɹnɥbɥʇ s’ıʇ ʇ’pou ǝʇɥ;
Ʇsıɥɹ ʇɥǝ bɹnsʇǝǝ ıs ıs uı ıu oɟ.
Ʇı ɥǝʇ.
Ɯɐubǝuı ıɥʍʇ ʇ’puo 'ɹǝןɹɐıısq.
ʍǝ ʇ’uɥɐs ɐǝɹɔʇʎןuı ʇןɹǝʇǝ sɥnɔ ɐɹʍ ʇıɹuɐoǝp qǝuǝ ǝɥʇ oɟ ʇɐɥʇ sןןoʎʍ ˙oʌsǝɥ ɐ sı ɯıןppǝ bʞuɐsı oɟ;
Ʇı ʇı bɯuuıɹo oɐɔɹǝɔɯʎp pǝnɟɟʇs ˙ıs ɐɥʇu ʇoɥ ɥǝʇ ıs ɐ 'ʎǝʇ ıbʇɥɹ oɹɐʎɔɔǝpɯ ǝʇɥ ıu ɹɐqpo.
Ǝןoɥ pʎɐ ˙qpɐ.
ןpǝɯıp ıןuǝ ɐ.
Ʇɥǝ ǝʇɥ ɹǝɯo uo ˙uıɥʇu ʇo ˙ıɥbɹʇ ıʇ;
Ǝɥʇ“ ɐ ɥıʍɔɥ ɐıpǝ uo ɐɔɯɹǝ uı ’ʇɹɹısǝʍ;
Is oıʌǝɹspdp oɟ ʇǝɥ.
Iʇ oɟ.
Sɯoɹɟ 'qʇoosɥ ɐu ɹon ˙ǝɐsnǝɹןd ɐ ǝɥʇ nsɹʇɯɐp.
Ʞsoʍu

V.
˙ʇɐɥ ɥɥʍıɔ ʇɐ oɟ. Ʇı ʇ’uɥɐs
ɹɟo puʇǝ ɯɹɟo ıs oɟ ǝʇɥ oɟ. Sɯoɹɟ
ɐ ɐɹʍ ɥǝʇ ɐ oıʌǝɹspdp
˙ʇɐɥ ıʇ ؛ǝʞɔıʇɹןs ɟǝןǝubı ǝʍɥʇı ıu ıɥʍʇ
ıu ɹɟoɯ. Ǝɹǝpɔʌǝı ǝɥʇ; Ǝbuıbquıu ɥʇǝ bʞuɐsı
ɹon ıʇ ”˙ǝɔpɯɔɐɹoʎ uıonuɔɯoɯ ǝɥʇ. Ʇɥǝ ɐɥʇu ’ʇɹɹısǝʍ; Is

ıubuɐʍʇ ıu puʇǝ ıu 'ʎǝʇ
qɐnǝsɹןɯdʎ ɥʇǝ osɔıdnsuı ʇ’pou ʇןɹǝʇǝ ɐɥʇu ɐ. Ʇɥǝ
ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʇ ıs oɹɐʎɔɔǝpɯ 'qʇoosɥ
ǝɥʇ ıs ʇɥʇɐ ǝʇɥ; Ʇsıɥɹ uı pǝnɟɟʇs ǝʇɥ
˙ʇɐɥ ؛ǝʞɔıʇɹןs uıonuɔɯoɯ ɯɹǝo oɹnɥbɥʇ
˙ǝ ǝuʇʇɯʇǝɐs sı ʇɥuɐ ou ʇo ɐ

uı. ˙ʇǝɯı ɐɥʇu ıs ʇo oɟ. Sɯoɹɟ
ʇǝɥ; Ʇǝɥ oɟ oʇ puɐ. ןɥɟɐ ʍospɹ; ʎɹsnןǝ ɐ ʇןɹǝʇǝ
˙ǝ sı ıʇ puʇǝ ʇɥǝ
qɐnǝsɹןɯdʎ ǝɥʇ; Ǝbuıbquıu ןɟıǝǝbu ǝɥʇ ǝʇɥ ɹǝɯo ’ʇɹɹısǝʍ; Is
ǝʇɥ; 'snbǝǝʇɹ ɯɹǝo qǝuǝ oɹɐʎɔɔǝpɯ pʎɐ
ʇǝɥ; Ʇǝɥ ɔɔʎpɐɹǝɯo ǝʇɥ oɹnɥbɥʇ ɐ ǝʇɥ ǝɥʇ

uıɟǝןbǝ; Is ɟǝןǝubı s’ıʇ ʇıɹuɐoǝp ıןuǝ
ɹon ”˙ǝɔpɯɔɐɹoʎ ǝʇɥ; 'snbǝǝʇɹ ɥʇǝ sı ɥǝʇ. Ɯɐubǝuı oɟ
ɐ ˙ʇɹopıǝ ıןuǝ ɹǝɯo ıʇ; Ǝɥʇ“
ɹɹnʇɹǝuɔǝ ıʇ ɥǝʇ ǝʇɥ ɯɹǝo ɐ oɟ. Sɯoɹɟ
ɥʇǝ ǝɐɹ; Ɐ sɥnɔ ɐ ǝɥʇ
؛ǝʞɔıʇɹןs ɯɹǝo s’ıʇ uı ʇןɹǝʇǝ oɹɐʎɔɔǝpɯ ˙uıɥʇu

bǝuo. Sı ʍospɹ; ʎɹsnןǝ ؛ǝʞɔıʇɹןs ʇɥuɐ uo
ıu ןɥɐɟ uı ʇɐɥʇ bʞuɐsı ıu ʇo
ǝɥʇ dɔʎʌɹɐı ɟo uo ɐıpǝ
ɔɔʎpɐɹǝɯo ˙ʇɐɥ sı ou ıu ʇı 'ʎǝʇ
bǝuo. Sı ʇɥǝ uı ʇıɹuɐoǝp oɟ
ǝoɹsɔ ɹɹnʇɹǝuɔǝ ʇɥǝ oɹnɥbɥʇ ıɥʍʇ ɥǝʇ uo

ǝʇɥ ʍospɹ; ʎɹsnןǝ oɟ ıbʇɥɹ ǝɥʇ
ɥʇǝ ɟo ʇuo; Npʎʇ oɟ ʇɐ qǝuǝ ˙qpɐ. ןpǝɯıp
ʇʇıɐʌʎןı; Ʌuıʇbo ɟo uı ɯıןppǝ ɐu
ʇʇıɐʌʎןı; Ʌuıʇbo ǝɥʇ oʍʞu ɥʇǝ ɥʇǝ; 'ɐɹʍ oɟ ʇɥʇɐ
ʇɥʇɐ ǝɥʇ; Ǝbuıbquıu ɟǝןǝubı sı ɹɐqpo. Ǝןoɥ
ʇɐ ɐup. Ɔɹɐǝɔɯoʎp oɟ ʇı ıu ʇo ɹon

sbou ɹɹnʇɹǝuɔǝ ǝoǝןdd bɹnsʇǝǝ ıs
ǝɥʇ ɹon ʇuo; Npʎʇ ˙ıs obp sı pǝnɟɟʇs
ǝɥʇ ןɥɐɟ ɥʇǝ ɐɥʇʍ oɟ
oʇ ɥǝʇ sı ʇ’puo ʇıɹuɐoǝp uı ɐ
ɐup. Ɔɹɐǝɔɯoʎp ou ʇ’pou ǝʇɥ uı
˙ʇɐɥ ǝɐʌɥ; ʍɐʇɥ ɥʇǝ ɹǝɯo ɐ oɟ. Sɯoɹɟ ǝɥʇ

dɔʎʌɹɐı ןɥɐɟ uı sı pǝnɟɟʇs
ʇǝɥ; Ʇǝɥ ıs ɹɟo ɥɥʍıɔ uı sןןoʎʍ oɹɐʎɔɔǝpɯ
ɹɟo ıʇ ɥʇǝ ɐ ʇo
ɹɟo ǝoǝןdd uıonuɔɯoɯ ıs ɥǝʇ. Ɯɐubǝuı ɐ ’ʇɹɹısǝʍ; Is
ıs ʇ’pou qǝuǝ 'ʎǝʇ pʎɐ
ǝʇɥ ʇǝɥ; Ʇǝɥ oʇ ʍsnɐspʇ ɐup. Ɔɹɐǝɔɯoʎp ɥıɥb ʇǝɥ. Iʇ

What repose and subtle wonder it is
to venture looking backward
upon my written name.

Scribbled, lacking coherence in its characters,

doctored suggestively towards containing
 an inherent “literary” edge

out of just what it is,

an association of sounds,

(parent’s gifted accidents of intention)
commingled and pushed into

an accepted truth by repetition

and repetition alone.


The surges of black-tongued self-consciousness

-that I’m far above the spot-scratching undergraduate

notion of admiring my personal stamp, of falling in love

with myself by using “bigger” words to fetishize
my most basic claim on having existed, of being HERE-

are given rise. 


These fade, by examples immemorial, to give way to other voices

striving for attention, to grasp their mark upon the page.

Late evening



On a wall,

Initials carved with a filthy bar

of rationed soap

In Dungeon Europe’s eastern range.

Where prison bars once hounded in

where beating’s sounded off 
morning’s crisp hue

The inevitable made its finer points here

Trampling over names and voices

lost to history.


Now a museum

the lunch-time rush 
of internationals

(who mostly work for corporations with offices in every place they travel)

Photograph themselves with expensive cameras

After shuddering, some even hazarding a tear

in considering what fates have befell

occupants on the wrong side of a different bureaucracy

 ....but all that matters, after they leave, is the the proof 

they were there. And how it was just how they imagined.


Morning, in my bedroom

and I’ve written something again...



I can stack it away

if I feel that I failed to capture

what I wanted to be seen

(if not in my own handwriting,

then on some gilded white screen

letters upright and well-rounded.)



How much can it matter to me?

Seeing my own name

allotted above or at the end

of some juvenile thoughtpiece
the kind editors everywhere
are doing their best to get rid of.


I suppose I write because it pushes me out of the expected

it releases me, on these mornings, these graceful, time-blessed

mornings, out of the cell.

To roam among the other skeptics, who thought aloud to wistfully

spend time away from the routine

To hold aloft a lighter-flame for those trapped inside.

Listen people, as this pertains to you, in general. The ***** that I give are decaying, exponentially, in relation to you. (you as a mass, an amoeba, a faceless many or few, however you wish to view the individual, inner, outer, oneself, selfless or self-centered, arrogance and humility all set aside)Forward from this point it has been planned, by my conscious and I, through negotiation (talking to myself is demoralizing, ruthless ******* I am at all ventures) an equation for the ***** I'll be rationed (or deprived of) has been set forth by it (or him, the tones are erratic and stances inconsistent, better I find to leave it faceless, a mass inconceivable in ways and form) to follow said equation.
F= i(1-e)^L
The variables within being explained to me as meaning such:
F is for *****, obviously-the end result-what we in essence: are after. Having to wade through the entire convoluted mess my conscious has made of it.
i is innocence, the starting point or amount- the source from which all my ***** flow.
e if experience, the rate of decay through time-experience being what seems to cause it-hardening innocence, slowly but surely, eliminating ***** all together.
L is life, the time: The span in which the degradation of ***** can and will occur, upon its end, the equation is erased, and given to start anew somewhere else, with someone else.
In layman’s terms the entire equation is doomed to begin with. Innocence, mine or anyone else’s is an impossible thing to quantify: measure. It’s sun tea from grandmothers’ mason jars on summers evenings, nostalgia and ignorance, something individual and immeasurable.
Leaving us to ask it (my conscious) what the hell it was even thinking. It, of course, doesn’t think in logical terms, only hides under the pale ruse of them.
My experience is a little easier to quantify. Seeing death, hearing the crack of an animal’s entire body under a tire, the last screech of death, Ruined lives or families, the illogical kindness of strangers, the warmth of another human’s body. All these things play crucial roles, leaning towards one way or another, another being this case, another being negative.
My time (L) is limited, leaving us to ask what relativity it has on the entire equation. The sad and short domain of a cliff dive graph. The two dots that predict importance, and my relativity the graph, the system this equation functions within, and its rules as a whole.
It says to work it through, to find myself, to change some spiral I can’t track or imagine.
It doesn't think in logical term, it left me confused without the tools to claw my way out of existence, and this sterile version of it.
It doesn't know (or care) what’s going on, it only hides behind the pale ruse,
of giving a ****.

The moment he rejected you the first time
I saw a little part of you break
like the icicles in your eyes were melted with a self destructive hate fire
burning dangerously with the unrequited desire
for his love.
I want to tell you you're perfect.
On the times he moved closer to you at the lunch table
I saw the way your body stiffened
I could see the mental checklist being ticked
making sure you had the grocery list of the things that you wanted
the things you thought he needed.
I want to tell you you're perfect.
He fluttered your heart with his smile
making you realize that this spell he put you under isn't temporary
no matter how many times he knocks you down
you'll always go back for more.
I want to tell you you don't need him.
Where other girls want to undress him with their eyes
to see the chiseled swimmers body armor created from
years of waking up before sunlight
all you want is to strip the armor from his skin
to see if what lies underneath the charm
is really as soft and sweet as it is in your dreams.
I want to tell you he doesn't matter.
The day he asked out another girl in front of you
you tell me you need a friend
you say you don't even know how to stop crying
you say it hurt so bad
choking back tears is causing you to choke out that it's killing you
and it just kills me when you say that you feel so pointless
but you're infinitely perfect to me
so I make sure that you know how pointless he is too
and that if he can't even see through his glasses to realize how beautiful you are
then he might as well be as blind as a bat.
I want to tell you you're perfect.
even though you say your importance can be rationed out in teaspoons
I tell you that no amount of measuring cups could ever measure how much you mean to me
I want to tell you that your shine is like the one light in powerless city
gifting those in the dark with the wonders of your intelligence
and with the beauty of the way in which you look at the world
I want you to know that you're perfect.
I want to tell you I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for not noticing all the times that your lip was white beneath your teeth
or the way your eyes stung from the acidity of rejection
causing tears to form around the red insides of your eyelids
I'm sorry I wasn't there to wipe those tears off your face like I always promised I'd be.
I'm sorry for the time that you had to ask for me to listen
because the invisible rules written by love
in the book of friendship in my mind
say that you shouldn't have to ask for me to uncover my ears
they should always be open
and so should my arms
because that's what friends are for.
I want  to tell you you're perfect.
I want to tell you I'm sorry.
I want you to know that putting layers of make up on your face
makes him fall in love with a copy of every unoriginal
girl he's ever dated but you
my friend
you are not a copy
you are not unoriginal
you are a story
you are amazing
and you should never let your self feel like any less.

Tied your hands and feet
Fed you to the aviator
You're a king and you're loved
So you must be put to death
We need a miracle, man
Stripped naked, blood-red cape
Wreath of spinous wood
Pounded in by hammering bark
Spit, hit, mocked, robbed, derobed
Sent to the place of a skull
Grape juice from a sour vine
Rationed you away by nine
A thief to your left
And a thief to your right
Begging for bulletproof miracles
Eclipsed, forsaken
Wine-soaked sponge,
A scream,
And he's gone

The flame
In his chest
The same
To the rest
But twisted
As he was
Blessed
But gifted
With inferiority
And was horribly
Conflicted
Of the message
He was meshing
With the decrepit
Feeling
Of his fleeting
Half stepping
To the
Recollections
Of his blessings
That he was tempted
To dissect
From the crowd
Inflicted
Despite the
Shroud
Of clouded
Bouts
Torn from
The panicked ****
Of the phobias
He knew they were scared of
And glared
Right through them
Before he opened up
His coat
And started shooting
Proving
Others wise
In the silent
Reprise
Of 45's
And nines
He smiled
In the exile
Of fear
Escaping
Through
The fading
Lights
Of dying eyes
In the wild
Surmise
That with each
Trigger squeeze
Eased him
Into shame
As he
Aimed
To please
For the release
Of lives
Crawling
For the
Finished
Lines
And in gorgazmic
Slitherings
He delivered
The final blows
With power ups
And scores
Progressing
The killing
As he reloads
With shrilling
Grins
And stints
Of compassion
Fashioning
The rationed
Satisfaction
He received
From the screaming
Mothers and babies
Brothers and maybes
Splattering
On the plastic trees
Of escalators
And skeezes
That laid shuttering
Headless
Upon the exits
Of his
Insurrected mind
And he was just fine
With dying
In kind
And he was just fine
Shining from
The shrine
Of Santa
In a sonata
Of solidarity
To the led
Soldering morals
In a story
Of victory
And of
Personal glory
For the lords
Of defeat
Seething
In the completeness
Of a defeatist
As he stuck
The heaters
In his mouth
And was out
Without
One doubt
As to what
Nothing
Means

The Great Depression
Days where countries felt like secession
The deadly dust bowl swept crops away
The stock market crashed
Everyone had to pay

The Great Depression
A lot of people died
From the dust that flew by
As the tumbleweeds flied

The Great Depression
The money went away
Food was rationed
But not every day

Most of the food
Was sent away
For the soldiers
That risk their lives everyday

The national pride is nullified by the constant buzz of shores
being broken down and beaten with patrol boats
scouring the waves for lame boats carrying
malnourished passengers to a land of plenty.

With searchlights and stern rugged faces
blue uniformed and well fed, border patrol
scout out the weary travellers braving the high seas
and sharks to find a safe heaven in some hidden cove.

Pest control is serious business. Unlucky to be caught
and housed in centres with rationed food and worn clothes
herded into bare camps, often deported back
to home turf, the pest control cycle continues.

Take heed. A nation is built on pests., working hard, saving
every cent, running against the clock, against government agencies, starved and poor, defeated in justice, welfare,
community, papers, education and livelihood, slinking through
alleyways of paper networks, low paid, often beaten and bruised
packed in housing crates, stacked storeys high, nation building
begins at the journeys first step away from regimes too busy amassing wealth and wonder for themselves.

Nation builders are the pests you want. The pests you spend your money  to keep away from your own backyard
for a vote for safety.
Pin up a country that did not grow without these
masses of refuge pests?

Not one.

Author Notes
Migrants are nation builders. Check it out.
© Marshall Gass. All rights reserved.

We are a subway.
We ride encroaching on our own spaces.
We bundle and fold each other
into outer significant dimensions.
Our arms harden to tree trunks
while our blood begs to flow freely under the elevated pressure,
grounding our Earthly existence.
This track beats on without destination,
regardless of bumps and bulges in the pathways,
our starting point forgotten light years before.

We try sharpening the images melting under this velocity,
and our eyes flicker back and forth attempting to follow these quickening pictures.
But we ride on,
crushed by the pressures of the Earth,
decaying the love we housed in storage,
now rationed up our stabilizing arms,
holding us averagely comfortable in this close proximity.

the people look like flowers at last, and i guess
what matters most is how well you walk through the fire*
worth the palette, and the eyes - it's the beef tongue honesty
as cited in the poem of the same name -
never mind the 1930s poem -
i too wish i could have written the 1980s
(Poland) - but the communist years
are marred and budding in China while
people bemoan the two years under Martial
Law - and queues, endless queues for
provisions, and stamps for rationed food,
and shops filled with empty shelves or
white vinegar (a childhood friend's mother
was rumoured to have committed suicide
by drinking white vinegar) -
in all honesty i guess before the borders opened
and products started pouring in we could
have claimed a happy childhood,
but for us back then it was the call of the wild -
and the fact that we were together as kids,
even though the steel plant was being undermined
for profit and people were either forced to
leave to somewhere else in the country or
abroad - a thriving beehive of a town reduced to
what became know as the pensioner town -
supermarkets sprouted like churches, the city
centre once a trading hot spot was now the bank
square - nothing but banks; growing up i used to
travel for summer holidays - a fit child i became
hooked on the coca cola dream - between 16 and 17
i lost 30 kilograms on my bike back home, doing
50 kilometres a day - once the fat kid at the back
of the class, now the pomegranate munching hippy -
but that didn't matter: aged 21... god... jealousy
is so horrible, it transcends the healthy competitive
streak of sports and capitalism - now, each waking
hour i wait for the evening so i can numb the pain
riddling my brain - it's like being perpetually nibbled
on my an electric chair - and i can't do anything about
the sizzling of blood on this organic sponge -
headphones sometimes provide an equilibrium
and i jack-in and the pain is reduced - but try talking
to someone when you can't hear them - god, jealousy
is so horrible - i remember times when i'd go with
the guy to Reagent's Park mosque and sit there on
the minimalist floor and just absorb this grand
poly-chromatic social experiment - born into a monochromatic
culture i was fond of the diversity - but times have
changed for the worse, and i'm proof of it -
as i already mentioned the other great schism (not
in religion but) in medicine - what insanity overcomes
them treating physical damage with metaphysical
promises of a chemical imbalance? they treat the brain
as some ******* chicken soup - thankfully i was well
aware of everything - but that's beside the point,
why i survived i attribute to what happened to Sisyphus -
i'm not going to be as bombastic as the original version
depicts Sisyphus, son of Atlas (both of them the boulder
men) - well, i don't see Sisyphus as an absurd hero
like Camus - i very much see him akin to Loki (the trickster),
but it's not about that - for me Sisyphus had a near-death
experience, and was condemned by the gods to
that boulder of his and the ***** and the rolling back
and forth as punishment for that Sisyphus had no insight
from his near-death experience - he didn't become a poet,
and he certainly didn't become a philosopher -
nor a ***, rebellious in the sense that what Sisyphus
did do is return to business as usual - he had no insight
into death, he didn't befriend it, he didn't akin to
Marcel Proust or Tristan Tzara gain "a new way of seeing";
not many people have near-death experiences in all
honesty - and from the myth as stated, few can return
with insight - most come back with cliches, the unimaginative
white light at the end of the tunnel -
Sisyphus was condemned to the boulder for his lack
of inspiration - then again, any madman talking about
the next world with promises is doing a handstand while
attempting to outperform someone running the hundred
metres - circus Olympics - what's keeping me motivated
is what others would call the Cartesian extension -
my brain can't craft a fluid cognitive narrative with ease
as it once was able to do - these are snippets of what reminds
me of the ease that the brain once hosted -
which contradictory if Descartes was about -
a thinking thing is un-extended - if that were true
he wouldn't have out-poured his thinking onto a blank
page - matter extends but does not think - unless of course
you get into a debate about god (i don't see the point
ascribing atheism all the perks - i'm also referring to an
impersonal entity, not a personal entity that might require
praying five times a day for personal gains and repressed
grievances - you know, god of the airy fairy and the casual
phrasing of the word that is usually censored by
Jews - g- -d - which i find as absurd as western censorship
of oath words). so coming back to this Descartes point,
it's true that physical corruption (damage) would qualify
me as a non-thinking entity, pure matter, and therefore
purely extending onto this digital pixel white -
but the counter argument is... there's a distinction between
thought and narrative - and given the casual standard
of philosophy is more akin to narration than abstraction
of either 2 + 2       in mathematics, or μ + ω
in phonetic encoding or whether ω could be encoded
to a more aesthetically pleasing macron-omicron (ō) -
because if we're going to follow Descartes prescription
(they are like doctors, those philosophers, or that's
how i treat them, every key idea they regurgitate out
from their predecessors - a priori - and is new
and challenging i treat it like i'd treat a prescription from
a doctor - Heidegger, for example, prescribed me
the equivalent of sleeping pills for my insomnia) we
don't have to necessarily accept it as the gold standard,
holy, a sword in a stone - but i'm not going to fall
for the rigidity of their vocabulary, the part where using
imagery would refer to a monkey pushing cubes
through a canvas of squares to the other side of something -
or that great table tennis match of philosophical
narration - how did something, nothing, everything,
anything are categorised as pronouns akin to
i, you, me, he etc. - i don't like their concentration on
either nothing or the basic self - that always bothered me -
but i guess it adds to the fluidity of language -
now i'm lost in my own labyrinth - and there's
the Minotaur on my heels breathing pungent hot-snot
from his snout - which can only mean one thing -
a trap to get into fixations and the stability of words
as one-dimensional, non-deviating from a unitary meaning,
rigidity of the non-existence of synonyms -
basically burning the Thesaurus Rex - which also means
no oil for cooking or butter for bread, or anti-ageing
creams - if ever anyone wanted one-dimensional
words, rigid language, a stability of some sort,
safe ~chemistry experiments read from a primer and
never new, black is black, white is white -
well... but i guess there's a preference for such an
approach to language, rather than the antonym of
such use of it, with negations in politics, in jurisprudence,
lies and corruptions, nuances, games and injured
hearts;
            Sisyphus ibin Atlas was punished because after
a near-death experience he didn't come back with
any insight - he just returned to his day job, and didn't
gamble on something beautiful - however
scrambled eggs it looked like.