you gave me love just to take it away
you gave me life so that i may die
and you gave me a heart just so i could be heartless
the life i have lived is not worth living
and it is so that i have died
but in death is rebirth
and in rebirth is death
every opposite has an attraction that governs its repulsion
and it is so i contradicted myself

when i had loved you were only my dark
because i thought inside you i could find a light
and even when i found it
i became lost in my conviction
devil and god
demon and angel
what is the difference but power
one to reign oblivion over life
one to comfort those in death
but in this world
can you tell who is who?

you gave me love just so i could feel it
you gave me life just to be numb
i loved all those that scorn me
as all those who scorn me are me
and i them

what is life beyond life
and what is death beyond death
as god so loved the devil
that he saw his own evil as good
and cast him unto himself
what is the devil but god
and what is the god but devil
these demons my guardian angels i feel found

why must i exist to exist i wish not to be
but that is why i am
we are made to go against and rebel against
but that is why we are made to subserve

A walking contradiction, craves intimacy, yet yearns for isolation.
Alone and crying for affection not received. Will they ever truly understand what they need can be given and received from themselves?


But flowers need sun, water, and love to grow🖤

By the window, the lonely petals drifted,
so did my mind.
I dare not say I am virtuous.
Experienced humiliation, I obtain humbleness.
Live plainly, before lavishly.
Life often contradict itself,
look at death, therefore comprehending life.

behind my mask
I'm in here way down deep
I hide the soft spots
A walking contradiction
that makes sense
as they are all fully me
*****. idealist. mother.
lady. *****. child.
******.
all me
the ****** *****
the angelic urchin
the ability
to see
that my
complexities
are vastly universal
as if the entire human race
resides within me

I'm  worried because I have no worries
I'm afraid cuz
I have no fears
I spin in circles
cuz I never get nowhere
when I wake up
I'm still sleeping
I'm so ugly
I'm in the hall of fame
and for that I feel no shame
I met the real me and then
she ran away

You ask me,
how can you be happy and sad?
Or Joyful and mad?
All at the same time

It’s pretty easy, I say,
Easy as seeing my parents
In the screen everyday
for my city I fled
and I don't get to hug them

But they're fine, you see
and that makes me happy
and my friends live their lives
as well as I live mine
and their news make me smile
make me joyful and then perhaps mad
for I wish I could be there
and I know that can't happen

So, yeah perhaps I'm mad
cause I have no future in my land
but I'm happy where I am
and the contradiction starts
So, I'll make peace with my mind
let my feelings aside
I'll be thankfull for what I got
and shut everything aside

Loneliness is something I'm attracted to.
Loneliness is something I'm terribly afraid of.