A fully nourished, lively child,
All bright from outside,
Forget not tho' that kid is,
As hollow as the void inside.

I don't know what to call it
unrequited love , maybe
One sided  for sure,
You occupied a space in my heart ,
A drug i couldn't resist ,
A habit forming one.

I longed for your smile ,
Those ocean eyes
Glittering with mischief ,
your stare gave me butterflies
And awoke an extinct part of me

Small details,
like acknowledging my name ,
Made me feel seen ,
Like i mattered .
You opened a gate
Between imagery and realism

I had long nights
Creating our world ,
Where we dominated
And no one else mattered
Yet you had another world -
One i wasn't included in

Still i let you occupy me ,
Even when my mind whispered .
My heart was busy resisting,
And now i doubt
If you even noticed me .

But no_
I will never regret meeting you .
You will always be apart of me ,
Just like a book
I will always refer to .

So this is goodbye ,
From a girl who once felt seen,
Who was ready to give her all ,
Yet was let down .

Sometimes
some people aren't meant to stay .
They are stories left unfinished ,
Those with no final chapters.
Maybe that's what you were

Maybe it's time i choose me
Over us
My dreams over him _
Because i deserve great things .
I always did .

Change the perspective
Like it's an elective
Chosen over the summer
To be my fifth period

Just say you’re happy
Be loving and sappy
Like a 90s sitcom wife
Who’ll never leave her husband

Do what you must do
Plan, not impromptu
Like a 2000s rom-com wedding planner
With a touch of OCD

It’s the deck you bought
The cards want you to rot
As if a deep dive on tarot
Could turn you into an intuitive genius

Mope like a poet
Standing strong like you know it
Like writing your pain
Isn’t still just performance in another font

Process and grieve
You’re so ready to leave
As if leaving my Crocs out of sport mode
Lets me linger longer

Every time I think I'm free,
I'm reminded that I'm not-
Years of separation,
Distance, even blocked.

A helping hand from you
Has always been a trap
Wrapped up in bows,
Pretty, but you'll snap.

I always stand my ground,
Cover my walls in spikes,
Until I think about the little boy you were-
You didn't mean to grow with so much spite.

That's always my downfall-
The child in me sees the child in you,
And I just want to save him,
But only you can save him from you.

So I keep taking these setbacks,
Hoping to show you some light,
But you leave me beat and bruised
When I only wanted you to feel less alone on your darkest nights.

I want a friendship,
Be cordial at least,
But there must be something in me
That makes you so ******* mean.

Still, you don’t let me stray far-
If you can’t have me, no one will.
I want to know sweet love while I’m young,
But maybe that prophecy was never mine to fill.

A cleaner slate than ever,
All traces scrubbed away,
And while I can admit I was cowardly,
That’s something you’d never say.

I no longer crave your closure,
The whole picture’s clear to see,
It was never about my well-being
You just found someone else to please.

Which makes it extra ******,
Reaching out just to gloat,
You couldn’t leave me be,
Had to shove it down my throat.

It’s changed my whole perception
Of the soul I thought you had,
I believed all that interlinked *******-
So that’s my ******* bad.

Now you open another playbook,
Most likely filled with the same plays,
And I just have to laugh at myself-
That’s just the way of the game.

My sisters don’t answer their phones
if their boyfriends are asleep-
hardworking men with shifts in the morning
and reputations to keep.
Lunches to pack, clothes laid out neat,
and they do it all willingly,
from a place of love, how sweet.

I did these things too,
once, long ago.
I gave up my needs
for the good wife show.
But if it’s midnight and I want to speak-
I don’t give a **** if that man is asleep.

When’s he been gentle?
When’s he cared back?
I go to work too-
Where the hell is my slack?
A woman stays quiet to keep a man’s peace,
but is that really worth it
when a part of you dies piece by piece?