the eyeholes are leaking again
syrupy soul juice on the outside
when it really should be locked in
hurry, wipe it away
drip it from your fingers
extracted venom on a bad day

it’s a one-way road
irreversibly changed once exposed
permanently evaporated with time
no longer enslaved to flow
no way to know if it was important
can’t scoop it back in, you know

The day you told me I was imperfect
And held it against me in contempt
Was the day I should have quit
But loving you made me feel strong
So I decided to continue on
And every second I chose to love you
Was a second I loved myself less
and less...
until somehow
you stopped loving me
even more than ever before.
Imagine the shocking realization
dawning over my ragged brain horizon:
Both of us love you
And neither of us love
Me.

Regret all you want
You'll always remember and
I'll never forget

Her mind's a beautiful mess
Bundles of nerves pathways of stress
Neuronic implosions she's got no rest
You find her strange like she's compressed
Ready to blow if she hits a crest
So you slice her open run some tests
Find her crazy as expected unless
She's actually unbelievably blessed
With the capacity to think and process
Beyond all the pomp and dress
And elevate herself with finesse
Above that which is meaningless

Forgive me, mother, not
For the things I have done
For they were done with the purest of intentions
Forgive me, rather, please
For the things I intended to do
Yet failed to bring to full fruition

And if you think it so just
To incriminate me thus
For crimes I have no evidence of committing
Your punishment I will accept
Like sweet nectar on my lips
And I shall live forever buried
In the turmoil of my everlasting shame

Years of my tears dry to stale grit
Rusting my skin with crusting corrosions
of Yesterday's emotions frustrations devotions
With time, composting into a dirt coating
Renourishing layers of decomposition
Green seeds in germination with anticipation
Sprouting fresh roots of deeper perception

A Glowing. Growing. Living. New Me.

Everything you took from me
Summed up to everything I was
The hardest thing about it all
Wasn't letting you go
It was arranging a new me
You wouldn't ever know