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Aug 2020 · 68
Today tomrrow forever
Laiba Aug 2020
Tomrrow is going to be kinda hard
Today was also kinda hard
Is my forever gonan be kinda hard
Aug 2020 · 532
I wish
Laiba Aug 2020
I wish I could say
That life is much more beautful
I wish I could say
You don't appear in my dreams
I wish I could say
You are behind bars for hurting me
But all i can say is
My mum is dealing with the mess you created
Expedition
Aug 2020 · 396
SHOUT
Laiba Aug 2020
I wanted to shout  
I wanted to scream
Daddy STOP it hurts
But all i could do Is lay in scilence
While you ripped me layer by layer
Aug 2020 · 441
Sleep
Laiba Aug 2020
Sleep is my pain
I close my eyes
And the nightmares
Start of the memories i didn't choose to go through
The memories of being hurt
Being tortured
By the man I called daddy
So sleep is pain
That's when it all comes back
To bite me in the neck
Nightmares have destroyed me
Aug 2020 · 118
Bye
Laiba Aug 2020
Bye
I wish I didn't exist  
All I ever do is cause trouble and distress
Everything bad that ever happens is because of me
So let me end it and show the world
That laiba is the worst person in the world
Goodbye and good luck
Aug 2020 · 64
Fat
Laiba Aug 2020
Fat
Am I fat?
Why does she always hint out I am then
I'm loosing it
I wanna starve myself
But I know I can't
I want to be skinny so she stops
Aug 2020 · 733
A game
Laiba Aug 2020
It started of as a joke
Like a game gone wrong
But when i heard her cry
I knew there was somthing
Terribly wrong
Jul 2020 · 352
Relapsed
Laiba Jul 2020
My heart is beating so fast
Fast like fast
Faster then fast
The  urge is to self harm
29/07/2020
Relapsed...
My heart beated fast
My mind acted fast
Officially relapsed after being clean for so many months and its all because i feel low I feel anxious I feel worthless
Jul 2020 · 59
Hello
Laiba Jul 2020
Hello
Can you see me
Hello
Can you hear me
Because I can't
Jul 2020 · 71
It's all my fault
Laiba Jul 2020
It's all my fault
Its all my fault
The thoughts are running around in my head
Waiting for me to give up and just pick up the knife and end it goodbye
But I can't I wont because that's what he is wants me to do
Life is so so so hard
And I don't think I can do this anymore
So help me before I give up
Jul 2020 · 57
Sanity
Laiba Jul 2020
Today I wish I that life could give me back my mind
My sanity
I am loosing it
And I can't breathe
Laiba Jul 2020
“It's time for me to start listening to me,
The day has come to set myself free,
My head and my heart always at war
My head saying go, my heart shuts the door”
It's not our fault we are trapped
Its what society expects of us to not go out and shout
“They raised their hand and it should be the last”
Today you start following what your gut feeling tells you
Because today they may say they're sorry
Tomorrow they will say it to their grave
It doesn't matter if their first touched you in anger
It shouldn't be tolerated nor covered with a “they love me” statement
Let me clear once and for all
No matter what circumstances we are exposed to
This lockdown will not continue forever
But what will is the cycle of abuse
So pick up the phone and dial 999 when that fear consumes and your black and blue
You may be wondering why i used third person nouns instead of he/she
That is so you know domestic violence affects both male and female boy and girl
No matter the race, religion or ****** orientation..
Lockdown will not cause us to suffer in silence
Helplines are still here no matter what..
Take the courage now before it's too late..
Jul 2020 · 52
Waking up
Laiba Jul 2020
Waking up each day
Seems like a battle I lost
But a victory to the people that care about me
Suicidal
Jul 2020 · 364
Daddy tell me
Laiba Jul 2020
Daddy why did u hurt me
Daddy why did u put your hands all  over me
Daddy please tell me
Laiba is breaking apart
And that isnt fair
No freinds no nothing
She can't hear the phase "who will be the one to loose your virginity"
All I can remeber is my dad was the first
Not my childhood sweetheart ..
True story stay strong it gets better
Jun 2020 · 157
Mind
Laiba Jun 2020
It's my mind that is hurting me
The consent memories that I did not choose to to through
The constent tears that I wish never existed
The sadness that hurts me all the time
So don't blame me
If i want to wave goodbye

:(
Sadness
Depresion
Anxiety


Please go go go go away
May 2020 · 64
To my mother
Laiba May 2020
Through hell and sunshine
You have been there
You are brave
You are a warrior
You are strong
You are my mother
Happy birthday mum
May 2020 · 79
LIES
Laiba May 2020
LIES
LIES
LIES







WILL **** YOU ONE DAY
SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SCREAM GOODBYE
Apr 2020 · 119
New chapter
Laiba Apr 2020
I'm so happy now
I have snapped out of my Depresion
My anxiety has waved goodbye
Life is beauful
People are accepting
I only cry like once a day
























I lied.
I lied
Apr 2020 · 185
Wish
Laiba Apr 2020
I wish I die.
And  nobody will cry
Goodbye
Apr 2020 · 50
Life
Laiba Apr 2020
I sit in the darkness of my room
And all the memories reappear
The sadness screams and says end your life
End your life
End your life
But I haven't got a life to end and that's what anxiety says
Apr 2020 · 59
Poam for key-worker's
Laiba Apr 2020
During a time like this we cannot help but thank the people stood there

Helping us, caring for us and sacrificing for us,

Heroes do not have to wear a cape

Because our heroes wear lanyards, badges and masks.

The key-workers of our community

Deserve more than just a cheer

More than just a clap

They deserve more than what they get.

The list of the people putting their lives in danger for us is endless .

But they  should not  be forgotten

Always remember who was there for you in the time of your needs.

All the key- workers from hospitals, public services to supermarkets and delivery drivers.

Should never be erased from your memory, looked down upon considered unskilled

Or pushed away to seem invisible neither undervalued as their worth is more then you can count,

The question is will you be there for them like they were there for you?

Fight for them, value them, a simple thank you could do for them.

Always remember when lives are disintegrating like the wind in the sky

These key- workers still work for your everyday wants and needs.
Apr 2020 · 547
Inside my mind
Laiba Apr 2020
My silent screams go unnoticed
My darkend days unchecked
I wish they believed me when i said it did happen
The emptiness is all consuming
It stole away my breathe
Self harm is always an option
Sucide is wish
That wouldn't happen to me
Because even death has rejected me
The memories of being suffocated by the man you called dad totures my head every minute
But now....
I got nothin to say
My words ran away with my happiness
Dear life
Let me go
Apr 2020 · 133
Permanent
Laiba Apr 2020
Do not  make permanent dessicions
On temporary feelings
Too late now.
Already have
Dear life
Forgive me. I am a bad person.
Apr 2020 · 72
A headache
Laiba Apr 2020
Got a headache
Bought on by stress
Bought on by heartache.
Apr 2020 · 47
Happiness and sadness
Laiba Apr 2020
It's like happiness is poison
And sadness is the happiness that is poison
Now tell me
How should i feel?
Dear life
Help me out here
Apr 2020 · 111
A mask
Laiba Apr 2020
I put on a mask
That's covers my true emotions
Why should I tell you I'm NOT fine
When you look at me and
Say
Your overreacting
Your overthinking
Your lying...
Dear people
PLEASE believe me
Mar 2020 · 84
Energy zero
Laiba Mar 2020
What do you call it
When you don't have the energy
To get up
To try to  **** yourself
Dear life I am sorry
Mar 2020 · 56
Why
Laiba Mar 2020
Why
What is the reason why you keep living each day
I am slowly giving up
And I dont want to
So tell me why
You keep living
Mar 2020 · 81
Broken heart
Laiba Mar 2020
Ask me what a broken heart is
And to live with it
Mar 2020 · 91
Nations silent killer
Laiba Mar 2020
You kept her in a cage
Clipped her wings
Told her lies
Told her she wasn't good enough
And deserved to die
You battered her broken body
Told her fragile birds were never meant to fly
You succeeded in stealing away her self worth layer by layer
But not her will to live each day
For her children

To the nation's silent killer
To all you bombarded by family honour
You watched her leave those rusty cage doors that were latched on tight
You watched her smile cry
Beautiful creations  cannot be hidden
And Cannot be confined
He does not define her
He does not hurt het anymore
She escaped from the statistics
Because her sucide attempts was in front of her kids
She relised she isn't a number
She is a woman  
She is a warrior
She is a mother
MY mother.
She is  stronger
She is free from the nation's silent killer
Sorry mum. For not protecting you. If anyone goes though domestic violence PLEASE seek help. You do not deserve this nobody does.
Mar 2020 · 147
Untitled
Laiba Mar 2020
I'm so sad
I take the **** out of my pain
I just laugh and say
I'm too used to this feeling now
I can't be asked to give up now
It requires to much thinking
And that a depresed person cannot do
Mar 2020 · 116
H.o.p.e
Laiba Mar 2020
HOLD
ON
PAIN
ENDS
HOLD ON PAIN ENDS
Mar 2020 · 74
Deserve
Laiba Mar 2020
Laiba you need to die
Your not good enough
I can't die
Because I don't deserve to die
Mar 2020 · 151
Depresion vs anxiety
Laiba Mar 2020
Depresion is telling you to end your life
And anxiety is to scared to
Leave everyone behind
This is me.
Everyday
Mar 2020 · 83
He held
Laiba Mar 2020
He held my hand
And said
I hope you die
You little sket.
Dragged me to his room
And did whatever his twisted head
Said to him to do.
Mar 2020 · 55
Mum
Laiba Mar 2020
Mum
Mum.
Mum
Can you hear me.
Feb 2020 · 43
Untitled
Laiba Feb 2020
Somtimes  
All you need is a hug
And somone to tell you
Your not as worthless as you think you are
Feb 2020 · 70
Used to be
Laiba Feb 2020
I used to be this person
Who thought she would make
The one person she loved the most happy

But now i can't even
Make myself happy
Jan 2020 · 121
Nobody knows
Laiba Jan 2020
How much I have cried in the night
Nobody knows
I have cried in the loneliness
Forigve me
What kind of crime is this
Why should anyone share my pain
Or the thorns in my heart
When all this was written in my fate
Sad hurt
A lot
Jan 2020 · 85
Expectation vs reality
Laiba Jan 2020
A happy day in an expectation world would be a day with no tears
A day where I could embrace my mama
And tell her I love her
And I am sorry for not protecting her
Stay in her comfort arms sleep in it
A happy happy day for me in reality
Would be if I died
And nobody cried
Jan 2020 · 71
Tired
Laiba Jan 2020
I'm tired
I am tired
Tried of everyone
And everything
Jan 2020 · 91
STOP
Laiba Jan 2020
STOP
JUST STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP  STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP


hurting me with your words
They **** me
I can't anymore
Jan 2020 · 84
Relief
Laiba Jan 2020
I'm soppused to feel relief
Now that the holidays are over
But why do I feel worse?
Good morning finally school holidays are over But I don't feel right
Jan 2020 · 100
Guess what
Laiba Jan 2020
Guess what
I am so used to my nightmares
Everytime I wake up from one
I laugh at myself and go back to sleep
Only to return to the evil place
Back in my head
But it's okay
I am used to it now
I don't even unferstanf myself
Jan 2020 · 91
Untitled
Laiba Jan 2020
Why is my living so hard
And so is my dying
The coward inside me
Doesnt let me do either
Too scared to be selfish
To end my life
In the fear  All who pray for my existence
Yet I pray i die.
And I don't even beleive in God
Sorry
Thank you to everyone but in particular the people listed above
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