zan - Hello Poetry

zan Jun 2018

i’ve always loved the way the sunflower looked at the sun, like it was mesmerized by the beauty of the sun.

Apollo, the sun god always flew east to west; he was loved by all including a water nyphm, clytie. She was immensely in love with the sun god, she would watch him with unblinking eyes as he moved across the sky. But Apollo didn’t return his love for Cytie instead, he was in love with someone else, but unfortunately the girl didn’t also return her love for the sun god. He tried to forcefully convince Daphne, she asked her father to help her and she was turned into a plant. Apollo was deprived. Cytie, on the other hand—still looks at Apollo as he passed through the sky. She looked at him for nine days with no food nor drinks. Eventually, her hair turned golden like the sunflower’s petals, her face as the center, her body as the stem. She became the sunflower.

you have always been my sun, and i will always be your sunflower.
i will always look upon you and will never forget the way my body reacts everytime i see you. I will be Cytie, even when you get tired of me, even if you find someone, I will never get tired of you—being in love with you.

You are my sun, I am your sunflower.
Apollo Didn’t fell for Cytie,
But my Sun fell for me.
We made history.

#love #summer #happy

zan Nov 2017

you.

the things that you do
makes my heart flutter,
and every time our hands intertwined
it makes me shiver.
the way you try to clutch my hands,
makes me feel merry—
like butterflies on my stomach, such a bliss—
and a sweet pie with a cherry.

#euphoria #happy #love #joy #excitement #pleasure #bliss

zan Jul 2017

Left unanswered

did you think
that your abandonment was enough
to leave my heart
broken into pieces?
because yes, it was.
with each piece
containing questions,
full of anxiety
and curiosity.

did you think
that your departure made me
feel useless
because all you have done
was use me, thought less of me
each passing day?
because yes, it had.
it made me feel smaller
in power,
yet it made me bigger
in hope.
hope that you would be my forever,
yet you weren't;
you made yourself
temporary.

so why?
Why did you leave?
what did you see in her
that you didn't find in me?
because for all i know
loving someone means
giving them joy and happiness
and that is all i have done for us,
for you.

then what,
what made you leave me?
it seems like my love and admiration
still did not reach your satisfaction
and i think that is why
you still managed
to look at someone else
without
hesitation.

and when?
when was the first thought
of disappearing in my life
go through your mind?
for everday
i pray to God
that in the end of time
it is still us
in each other's arms

now where,
where would I go?
so many places,
with too many memories,
yet it is still you,
your embrace,
that i end up running to.

so who,
who did you do it for?
for yourself,
for me,
or for someone else?

and how,
how did you do it
without having to feel
what i felt,
without having to be the one
being abandoned,
without having to be the one
experiencing the departure
of someone I was,
and still am,
deeply in-love with?

was it simply because
I was not good enough?
maybe so.
but i hope
that for you,
in each passing day,
you will encounter others,
ones that won't question you.
ones that will make you feel whole,
as you had made me feel once.

#love #hate #sad #solitude #left #questions #depress

zan May 2017

who am i?

she cries herself to sleep
she hurt herself to bleed
she pleaded herself to keep
she loved him just to be tricked—

and starved herself to live.

#lonely #hunger #fear #sad #depress #love

zan Mar 2017

what matters?

a constellation full of stars and planets,
a love full of majestic feelings.
a one sided love that cannot be seen,
a friend that "i" only matters to him.

#love #sad #pain #friend #one-sided

zan Mar 2017

metal and non metal

he was her world, her whole life depends on him. She didn't care about the ups and downs, hell or disaster. He was her happiness.

but he didn't pay attention to any of it. For him, she was dull, empty and raw. Like she was the core of the earth or even the asteroids—a pest to the universe. for him, she was madness.

their feelings are both opposite. it was like hate and love trying to bond each other. like a volcano erupting but it was insanely beautiful.

the more you hate, the more you love—a myth from our ancestors.

hopefully destiny can find true love. hopefully he will realize how pure and lovely she is. hopefully they find true love to each other.

#love #sad #pain #one-sided

zan Mar 2017

—sunset;

there was a brief silence; we were so caught by the moment of the sun going down we never even realized that our hands were slowly touching. I do not exactly know the relationship between us; if what we have was real or not, but all i know is that somethings unreal—what are we? i asked.

the music suddenly stopped, you looked at me with those dazzling eyes—those eyes were the perfect combination of the forest and the ocean—emerald.

i don't know—you said. in those words there was an extreme sadness and joy that maybe there could be something, maybe my love for you was not that strong but i know that it'll get you someday. And i hope the sunset can reach it's destination as well.