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 Jul 2017 Zanegugu Mbonambi
The X chromosome in your genetic make-up does NOT imply weakness,
It merely means you have chemical X and you're powerful.

A girl who finally understands that
 Jul 2017 Zanegugu Mbonambi
 Jul 2017 Zanegugu Mbonambi
We never really had much, So
you taught me to appreciate the very little we were blessed with.
You taught me to be thankful for every blessing given to me and to respect myself and those around me.
You taught me that that if today wasn't good, tomorrow might be better... Because just like everyday, the sun will rise. And if tomorrow still isn't good... There's another tomorrow still on its way.
I admire your grace and your generosity, because from an empty hand you still have something to give.
And you have always put us before yourself and anything else first... You believe in me, and because of the last I too have the courage to believe in myself. You taught me that I'm never to young to dream or to be hopeful you taught me the importance of love and loving yourself... I will always be grateful for the faith you have in me, the love you show me everyday and for always being there.
 Nov 2016 Zanegugu Mbonambi
I tell him that I can not love him
Because my heart is held prisoner
By the ribs that cage it
Excuses excuses ...
 Nov 2016 Zanegugu Mbonambi
and i guess i'm just asking,
if all the things you said to yourself, appeared on your body,
would you still be beautiful?
 Nov 2016 Zanegugu Mbonambi
I've always thought that I would be the one to write my own eulogy and keep it hidden in the back of my drawer so that when you see my name in the obituaries you won't need to worry about having to pretend you care. I'll write my eulogy for you. I'll talk about all the things you wished you could of told me before you ran off without warning, I'll write about how my love was a state of mind and all you wanted to do was blow your head off. I'll write about how you never really knew how to love me because all your life you were taught about the birds and the bees and never learnt about the significance of butterflies till everything you loved finally became everything you lost. I'll write my eulogy for you, I'll write about how the walls you built to shut me out we're decorated with us in picture frames, and no alcohol could consume you enough and give you a motive to take them down. I'll write about how maybe you thought the timing was wrong, the place was wrong, the motives were wrong but how you have never experienced a love so right. And maybe I wasn't always your cup of tea but I can bet anything that after the tenth shot of ***** your body was numb and your skin craved my fingers enough that you settled for the girl in your bed who's name, to this day you still don't know. I'll write my eulogy for you, I'll write about how for the past eight years you watched the sunset and talked to me from a different rooftop. And that even when it set it took you a while to get up and go to bed because you missed the feeling of watching me waiting in your sheets. I'll write my eulogy for you. I'll write about how you're sorry. Because the only thing different about you and a setting sun, is that the sun always came back.
 Nov 2016 Zanegugu Mbonambi
You told me you didn't like the way I stared for so long at sunsets. Almost as though you didn't want me to fall in love with something that was leaving. What you never considered was that the most comforting thing about watching it leave was the knowing that it would come back even more beautifully at dawn. You told me you didn't like the way my cheeks shook when I laughed, so I began laughing less passionately. You told me you didn't like the way I bit my bottom lip when I was deep in thought, so I stopped getting lost in my own head. You told me you didn't like the way I whistled while making the bed in the morning, so my morning tune got silenced. You told me, you didn't like the way my voice shook when I told you how much I love you. So I began saying less often. I did all this, to make you love me more. I did all this because I wanted to be the reason that you didn't leave; I know you've spent your whole life running. I wanted to be the home you couldn't find yourself getting away from. I was clay in your hands and you moulded me into everything that I've never been. I wish I would have been enough for you to come home to. I wish that my kiss felt as welcoming as the front door mat. I wanted to be everything that I'm not for you, but I just needed you to keep me.
last winter
at a downtown coffee shop
I sat on the bar stool near the window

I watched the people on the sidewalk
pulling their coats and scarves around their necks
keeping the wind out

I sipped a peppermint tea, a temporary comfort,
and watched
as they entered their apartment towers
moments later, high up, a window would light up with a yellow glow

a far away
warm, bright, home

and I’m looking at them, and I know, that I should go on
to wherever it is that hearts go on to
that it’s not doing me any good to sit here
wishing for a brightness of my own


what’s hope for if not this?
I’m not sorry
I can’t be sorry
I won’t be sorry
that I’m going to stay awhile
looking at the lights in the windows
of everyone else’s home
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