i write every day,
i have a lot to say.
not all of it is good,
mainly bad.
i can't help that i'm always sad.
but,
one day my words will be the only part of me,
the only thing left of me for people to see.
it will sit there as a reminder,
a reminder of what once was.
a girl who felt too much,
then felt nothing at all.
a waste of time,
a waste of space.
given everything,
then gave it all away.
it wasn't her fault,
she didn't know life would be so cruel.
she didn't know that boy would break her heart.
she didn't know someone she trusted could betray her.
and worst of all,
she didn't know she'd be her own worst enemy.

let these words serve as a reminder of the girl you've lost.

you know this is about you.
don't act like you don't know.
we talked for hours and now not at all.
and tell me how is that fair?
you see my words,
i know you do.
and you'll talk to me for
an hour or two.
but then once again,
you'll stop replying.
i'll be stuck overthinking.
"what have i done?".
but now i see it's not me,
it's you.
it's been you.
it was too good to be true.

i am still scared you know.
i caught feelings, but should i let them show?
could it be true?
it’s only me and you?
is there someone on the side?
or something you’re trying to hide?
i want to be girl,
the one to send your heart in a whirl.
the who makes your heart beat fast,
and the only one you want at last.
but if you don’t want me,
what will be will be.

certain things are special things
whether it be a song you love to sing,
or your mom's special ring,
it never gets old.

maybe it's a quote from your favorite book,
or, from your loved one, that special look.
it never gets old.

but sometimes feelings start to fade away,
not as special when you're old and gray.
and ****, before you know it,
you're getting old.

IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING
AND MY BRAIN IS BACK TO SCREAMING.
YOUR BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW.
TONIGHT IS WORSE THAN EVER.

A MONTH FROM TOMORROW
IT'LL BE MY BIRTHDAY.
AND I KNOW YOU WON'T BE
HAVING THESE THOUGHTS A
MONTH FROM TODAY.
NOT ABOUT ME AT LEAST,
BUT MAYBE ABOUT YOUR NEW GIRL.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL,
REALLY.
THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF ME.
SHE'S GOT BIG BLUE EYES,
NOT LIKE MY BROWN ONES.
HER LONG BLONDE HAIR
IS NEW FROM MINE,
LONG BROWN.

I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING.
THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT HER WAS DIFFERENT
THAN THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT ME.
AND NOW I KNOW THE TRUTH,
THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY,
I'LL NEVER BE THE ONE WHO OWNS YOUR HEART.

and i cant help but feel this isn’t how things are supposed to be.
cause you’re with her and not with me.

and all my thoughts began to build,
i see her shoes could never be filled.

and here i am, all alone, crying to some stupid
songs,
i dont know what i did, please tell me where i went wrong.

im not seeing all my mistakes
and as i cry, my heart just breaks.

but you, you’re laughing with her
and yeah it hurts, but it’s fine, i’m sure,

you’re happier with that girl who wouldnt give you anything and sure,

you’re happy with that stupid girl,
while i’d give you the whole **** world.

“oh she loves me” that’s what you’ll say
but is love hurting someone every day?

and every time i see you smile i can’t help but wonder,
are your tears your rain and sobs your thunder?

you love her, but i know that can’t be true
because the way i see it this story should end with me and you.

but that won’t happen, not a chance
so i’ll sit back while you’re stuck in her trance.

and i’m falling,
falling,
but that’s okay.
i just hope you find your freedom some day.

she loved someone who didn't love himself.
he was in love with drinking and drugs,
and it blinded him from, her, the one good thing he had.
but once he could finally see clear,
he took his own life.
he took himself away from her.
and now she's left to wonder,
did he ever love her at all?
and will she ever love again?
can she ever love again?

i wish i knew before i decided to fall for you.
i wish i knew you weren't going to catch me.
sometimes i'm so stupid,
caring for people who don't care for me.
who won't care for me.
and as i watch you laugh with her,
i feel worse.
i feel *****,
disgusting.
i begin to break myself down
because i know that i will never be
as pretty as her,
or be the reason for your laugh.

it's been said they call it a crush
because it's always the person you
fall for who crushes your heart.

little did i know,
they'd been right all along.

you crushed me.

i saw you again on saturday night.
i know you saw me too.
in the crowd of your show,
as big as the ocean blue.
the most we exchaged were small smiles
then we were on our way.
maybe, just maybe, i’ll see you again.
maybe one day.
you tried to talk to me,
but i walked away.
i knew if i had stayed,
i would fall back into you.
as much as i would like it,
we would never be the same.
you broke my heart,
you’re the one to blame.
i love you.
you might just love me too.
but why, after all this time,
would my love finally be enough for you?