“what are we?” she asked

with despair, he replied, ”we’re nothing”

You mind your steps
   after you've stumbled.
You miss your home
   after you’ve left it.
You value your health
   after you’ve been sick.

But you can’t enjoy life
   after you died.

"You know, lesbians don't like girls who can't make up their mind and
people won't trust you if you can't pick a side"
Can we press pause on the regular interrogation?
I am not a product that needs a label
I am human, waiting for my love story
and i am tired of the judgement placed before me.
Who i am attracted to does not concern you
because my love is not your love.

my forest is the key to a door of trees... an ambient reckless.

let us keep the forbidden as a friend
and estrange the wane moons of our desires.
to better come to terms
with our actual fires.

let us yearn less the lesser things... and be swoon
amidst the plethora of unsung joys.
let's join the incomparable affinities of our affections
and swarm the hollows of our
un-gone dreams... completely.
let us go there, and be tranquil...
for there is no other god
but the One before Me.
and i put you above it
because you
Love me .

moist eyes  fall upon the limp figurine
of a jewel encrusted snowman with a corncob knife.
i dream walk through the ether of our dislocated soul.
i comb the beach of our lost island
and build a raft from our bones
and a lock of your eyelashes,
flashing in the wink above -
your high cheeks
in the moon glamour of your perfect skin.
we smile untethering the harness
from our rogue star
we sally forth across the empty streets of Hell's burg. on the outskirts
of an astral cataract...
a laughing gloom with night's teeth tearing at the hem
of your lace robes and my nakedness.
with moist eyes drooling saltine gems
like dewdrops dripping from the lip of a cracked goblet of frozen fire.
our eyes that fall upon the void, weeping from the answer to a foolish prayer,
answered by a jealous god. our testament is dust and deep Love.
we have no other sky above, as is the custom of deep space...
we drift with our horses, across the nether bridge of our uncertainties....
and there
we part ways.
you go where the sun
has slain the moon.

i go where the moon's never been. and sleep in droves.

holding your hand like a grain of hope
and your heart like a golden
shadow
too heavy to lift
from the

unknown

He tells me that this is a normal reaction
So why do I feel so slimy?
I hate getting upset, I just do
Plus he doesn't know everything

I suppose I could tell him
How all I do is sleep and cry when I'm at home
I suppose I could show him
My writing, my poetry
The areas of my mind in which bulimia and self harm make themselves comfortable
In my thoughts

Then, maybe he would understand
How broken and crazy I really am
But then again
I guess crazy is relative.

He acts like I'm a sweet kid
He treats me like I mean something
Like I have potential
I wish I could get that thought through my thick skull.

All I want is to tell all these people
Who, for whatever reason, believe in me
That I do not believe in myself.
I wish I could show them
The scars on various parts of my body
And the ones that etched themselves into my mind.

They do not know that I am insane
For if they did
Would they still care about my well being
As much as they act like they do now?

Sadly, I think not.

You might be a sinking ship
Stuck in the middle of an ocean that is too big
Surrounded by other boats
All of them drifting with ease
Wondering how
They manage to stay buoyant
When you are drowning

You look around
To all of these people
In the midst of floating
All of them seeming perfectly intact
These people
See you too
And not one of them knows
About the hole in your heart

The one that is filling quickly with saltwater
It is heavy and aching
And the dullness is overpowering
To the point where you almost give in
Thinking that maybe there will be relief at the bottom
That there will be comfort in letting go

Do not let go

Instead
Breathe deep
Fill your lungs with air
And make your way back up
Take up space
As much as you can
Expand
And eventually you will reach the top

You are not drowning
You are merely swimming in rough waters
And it is possible
To make it out alive

So instead of waiting
For saviour
For your mermaid
Or sailor
To come rescue you
Rescue yourself
It is the only way
To truly stop the sinkage

In an ocean that is too big
It is easy to feel small
Do not let yourself drown
You were meant to swim.