I used to think when you kissed me, you were healing me. I now realize that you were just filling my throat with poison. I now realize that with every touch from your ever so soft finger tips, you were tearing my skin away from me. You were bruising my body like it was nothing but the head of a nail and you were the hammer. You were making my brain melt inside my mind because your words were so harsh, yet so gentle how could I not love you. How did I not see that your eyes, your beautiful, radiant, green eyes, were nothing but black holes that ****** every part of reality from my mind. I was manipulated. I was hurt. I was dying because when you left, you took every ounce of hope and happiness that I had left. You are a thief. You are a liar. I am alive. I don't know how I did it, but I pulled through, and I am so much stronger now. I see the beauty in everyone that I thought you took away from me. I can smile and laugh now, the qualities I have that I thought you stole in my sleep. I am happy. The one thing I never thought I'd be and you are suffering. I wish you good luck through this mess you've put yourself in, because I cleaned mine up, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

You came over last night
Put your arm around me like you used to
I wanted to cuddle in
I wanted to pretend that we were us again
But then starts that deep nagging feeling knowing this is a mistake

You shouldn’t hold me
I shouldn’t cuddle
We aren’t us anymore
We will never be there again
And my heart cannot continue to take this push and pull

I want you so badly sometimes that I don’t know why I chose to walk away but I know it was for the best

Just need to be reminded as to why..

They tell me to move on,
As if its that easy.
They say things will get better,
But they haven't.
They say I'll find someone better,
But you were perfect for me.
They say I'll find true love someday,
But I had already found it.
They say I should hate you for what you did,
But I can't because I love you.

I'm numb to feelings now.
I'm in an eternal state of nothingness.
I care about nothing.

I know you're gone and aren't coming back.
I know nothing will ever be the same between us.
I know I should move on,
But I gave you my heart and its still yours.

We never took pictures together
because you don't like how big your eyes are
I would drown in them for you
but you would be too busy
watching the sunrise to notice.
You have glasses because you're blind
But they aren't the right prescription
because you still don't see your beauty.

I remember the night you had me drive
two hours away from the city lights
just so you could point out
all the constellations you memorized
when you were younger.
I let you go on and on about stars,
waiting for you to mention the way
you outshine all of them
But you kissed me instead
and I think that was even better.

Even when Summer faded out,
you would always smell like sunshine.
I wanted to live forever in the daydream
of you and me walking along the shoreline.
Your laughter was synonymous
with sunflowers
and how everytime you caught sight of them
you couldn't stop yourself from smiling.

But that should have been my warning sign
because Russia's official flower is the Sunflower
and ever since you left
I've traded water for *****
and this winter has been unusually rainy
but it's still too bright for me to go outside.

To belong to something as beautiful as the sea offers a peace that jumping just might bring
To be a part of the waves your body so much craves and to linger in the waters everytime you soak your feet my touch hides beneath the sand so bury your hands as deep as you can my love hides in the sun so never stray from the light and my soul lives in the ocean so swallow the water and pretend I'm there with you tonight.