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Sometimes...

I don't know where I am

                                                             ­                                       Sometimes...

I laugh until I cry and then laugh some more

 Sometimes...

I wonder when or if I will find new direction

                                                      ­                                                 Sometimes...

I help out a complete stranger for no good reason at all
                                                             ­                                 
Sometimes...

I contemplate how much I value my own life
 
                                                         ­                                             Sometimes...

I make someone else's day significantly better
                                                      ­      
Sometimes...

I don't feel the light inside of myself

                                                         ­                                           Sometimes...

I day dream for what seems like hours on end with absolutely no consequence what so ever
                                                            ­                                  
Sometimes...

I forget important things easily and as a result don't always follow through with what I say and what I do...
                                                           ­                                  Sometimes...

I arrive in the nick of time to save the day
                                                           ­                                 
Sometimes...

I don't show up to somebody's final event and as a result miss the opportunity entirely
                                                        ­                                     Sometimes...

I reach out to people who need it

                                                             ­                               
Sometimes...


I let myself go






But no matter how the time weathers my bones I MUST NOT allow this sickness to entomb my vessel. I was born FREE--a child of the earth and sun. I take flight upon the crest of the dawn and fade ethereally with the passing of dusk.




                                              Sometimes...­








**I Float Away
Do NOT allow depression to take over you.

It's important that you allow yourself to be reached as well as reaching out for yourself. But don't be afraid to let someone else in.
They may just be trying to help...




and
Love thy family
Especially the ones we choose.
sometimes I want to die.
I want to die to see if anyone
would care
would remember me
for what I was,
what I did,
not for what they knew
about me,
I know my mother would,
but would you?
a question in question..hmm..
Sailor,
You asked me what a promise means to me..
Maybe it means that I have seen and heard people break a lot of promises
and maybe this time
I do not expect that to happen..
And
That I've had enough of ******* in life
And maybe its time everything bad came to an end
And maybe
Its time I got something good out of life
And maybe that good is the result
Of having you in my life
And
I might not be mature enough
Or old enough
To maybe understand the meaning of
maintaining a relationship long enough
And I might be too young
To know
I love you so,
And u love me.
And too young
That everyone might think
My heart might flutter around a bit,
But what everyone does not know
Is that my heart has made a home,
And as it always is
You always feel,
Peace when u come back home..
And the distress my soul would feel
Without peace
Would be immeasurable
So I made a promise to myself to always be peaceful,
AND that would only
BE possible if i came back home..
YOU are my home sailor..
Forever longing,
Your Mermaid..
today I told him to come back home..
 Jan 2014 Writam Allan Ray
Eliza
It's not my fault
that sleep doesn't come to me easily,
that the thoughts in my mind will not leave me,
that it takes two hours before I drift off completely
(sometimes even three).

It's not my fault
that my hands and legs would not stop fidgeting,
that I find the littlest things very distracting,
(like how the clock never stops ticking)
that I like to keep repeating.

It's not my fault
that sometimes I can't breathe,
that I'm not the person who you would want to be with,
that sometimes I don't want to live.

It's not my fault that I have a condition.
Or maybe it is.

*(n.d.)
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