The road behind still seemed more tempting  than the wasteland of hollow thoughts and
empty dreams that lay outside my hotel room window.
I'd long since given up on having anything known as a comfort zone.

Still although it was hours since we landed still my thoughts rambled like some child as he sits listening to a trains whistle on a long dark night.

My fellow shadows had long since learned a private room was better than a front row seat to
my often insanity spun sideshow of late nights and bitter rants.
It was me and my thoughts a plague of my own creation  in full swing and obsecure few
a stiff drink and some good pills kept the thoughts at bay for the moment.

We found areselves in the city of Angels but  it reaked more of devils torment and wicked excess.
Hookers cheap *** and some overpriced drugs.
The blood of dreams covered the streets and old starts of the fames lure slept next to the broken and homeless.

Why had I ever came here was it ego?
Or just a good time to flaunt in the face of all thoose caught in the gears of
the day to day grind.

This land of empty thoughts  and cursed remakes there was nothing creative bout this scene kids  just give your neck to the vampire and pray he yerns for a taste.
Maybe you'll be one in the few or just another hideline.
Fallen star found dead outside some overpriced nightclub.

Me I was here for a gig and nothing more .
To provide some laughs between drinks i had no illusions of fame.
To me I looked in the crystal ball and just saw another cheap snow globe
of nothing more than candy coated lies.

This wasnt my scene it wasnt anyones scene just a playground gone
wrong a wasteland of bad ideas and hollow thoughts.
That made Vegas seem like a good idea at the time.

Neon lights and lost thoughts haunt the hours spent like some
silent witness to a future crime scene and a redlight work of art.

And as I recalled the nights show I tried to forget the faces from behind the lights
that seemed broken by some plastic surgeons *******.
Give me women with flaws and unsculpted fools.
Perfect people can have this place that seemed more like a gateway to
a delusion cast hell than screen print paradise.

Course many would paint it diffrent if they held the brush but I wasnt
much of a painter to begin with.
And as tommorow loomed with the smog I packed my suitcase thinking.
If we could just drown half the suits and give it to the miscast freaks
pretending to be superheros for tourist pics what a ****** up
theme park we'd have then.

A few hits and alotta drinks later we were gone and there was no question
If we had left a empression.
Only a ****** of a much higher degree would wanna leave anything there.
Except maybe a pipe bomb in a suits office bleeding some old franchise
for every drop it was worth.

No my friends the rearview wasnt looked in often.
What did you think of it?
My fellow traveler  asked as we counted potholes and passed the bottle

Well it sure wasnt Kansas my friend.
What the ***** in Kansas?
Anything but this ******* place amigo.

As a canvas of naked beathy I trace every curve loving every moment when her sweet skin is pressed against

mine.

Her moans A music to fill the darkness of a passion filled night.

Kissing lips tasting the sweetness of desire her body the vesssel of my love.

Inside the softness are plessure building her love free as inside her i drive myself

yerning for this moment to never end.


Love is eternal *** is a action that only brings us togather as one.

A storm of emotions and a valley of plessure as we explore are bodys

togather one night of many of a eternal passion.


Her legs around my waist back against the wall bodys apart souls togather.

her plessure my passion sweat laced slumber as togather we came.

as in gentle slumber i brush her hair aside from her neck.

marvle at my angel so sweet within my arms.


As she turns to me looking so deeply beyond all i am not.

And seeing her lover and her friend she takes my inside her

as we make love through the nights plessure casting aside the past and its

pain.


In her eyes I see all that I never knew i could be.

Her eyes that touch my soul and melt the flesh.

Words unspoken her body so perfect as if made for my arms.


This night eternal you've cast over every day.

Julie Elizbeth Robbins.

You know the ocean of my soul and it yerns for you to forever stay.




I could never say everything you are to me Jules.

are road has been long but all I know is that.

you are my passion and the life blood to my soul.

For we know what other's few ever will

love eternal babydoll John.

She yerned for more as the traces shown clear.
Yet another always seems to follow the last in the fire that leaves you numb.
And in that lost emotion is when she yerns for it most and the flesh is but a vessel left to bargain.

Track mark tragedy in a clear junkies view.
Pushed in vein taken from time often we exist only to fade from light.
The beauty now a trainwreck of what could no longer be.

In *** she travels from self only to drown in thought.
Maybe this time just for the fix.
Soiled thoughts the picture never paints a suicides face.

A addict was created a scar is past.
Futures dim lit regression ****** left in shadows still remain.

That feeling none can explain for how is it to understand death in lifes last thought?
Two lips togather leaves one ina dope sick splendor to thrive.
In the depths of a adiction is when to me love is least alive.

She ask's for more blood does glisten from arm.
It's gone a liars need must reply.
Why fade when you can catch a fix slumbed lifeless in a stall.

In the shadows we consume the shallow means to still linger.
touch of gold a dust of reapers skelton finger.

She cries to as a empty soul filled in a addicts thought.
Will it fade in sadness a broken thought is but a dreams half *** reprize.

When you know the answer then why wait for the question?
maybe it was just to make her squirm in that last sense of right I knew all that was wrong.
She knew it would hurt and so she avoidng the words.
Hiding her own happiness  to allow me my dellusion tinged misery.

At the table the candle slowley burned casting a glow only
causing the shadows to stir.
We spoke more in silence than in words.

My male ego feuding with itself.
Yerning to cause the pain that was already
eating at me  secrets  burn a hole in the rational mind.

You ***** I imagined yelling  causing only me to appear more of a fool than  I already was.
But the silence said it all.
Sliding the  drink aside looking into the eyes  i could never truley understand.

And in my loss i saw the beauthy and saw her emptyness
with me she would only know.
the moonlight reflected apon the water is but  a reflection
of what we need only look up to see.

It takes love to say goodbye.
as outside in the nights air  we needed that last embrace to
remind us of the emptyness  that we shared.

Into her eyes  I gazed as within her soul I spoke.
No false hope tasted within  that kiss.
As paths part life does change and the chapter is closed.

The happy lie tempted my heart as she vanished into
her life.
Perfume cast her scent as the pen kissed the page.
the ghost's off memory haunt me eternal.

But never was  is my life.
As my love yerns more for what her's could be.
  
The darkness my home  always tempted with the
promise of light.
Closed is that fragment of heart.
As the candle's apon the table slowley kissed the darkness
as trail's of smoke  trace the scene.

I knew it was over  befor  she spoke the final words.
But no matter the experience  nothing.
Prepares you for the  hell of waiting  for goodbye.

It's like a distant call of a well known ghost.
Change breath's heavy apon the wind.
She yerns to know the other end of rejection.

Two broke souls rich in the passion of a uncertin day.
No money can touch that excitment of  just what comes next.
Sweet mercey  we exist on a favor we cant repay.


A old radio and room no bigger than   postage stamp.
***** windows give the best moonlit visions indeed.
Five star dream's I'll take a greezy burger and cold beer
my  hand inbetween her thighs.

Her eye's speak the  direction we shall take.
A devilish grin a twisted snake of plessure
leading to a old bed's dusty retreat.

But millions can't taste this moment.
Inside her plessure I grasp a key turned towards
the locked vessel to which she does give.

My nights are rich in splendor.
And  a endless river  in thought.

Shes always my past waiting to drag me to a time eternal.
As  nightmare's  are but my deepest desire.
When happiness was more than a word unknown to me.

As we cling to it gently knowing the reality wakes
us alone.
Togather in desperation I wish only to erase this
vision to save the pressent.

She's knows it's near the moment we can never face.
In the darknest it's in fear I regret  what we'll
remain of my heart a vacant space.

The breeze slip's over the over the dying summers breath.
A angel's last rites and this demons favorite disgrace.

As sunrise ****'s my heart of dreams im left alone.
The feeling so real.
False was that time  killing only me still
This fool yerns to embrace.
The memory that never matched the face.

I write my farwell  to  you  everynight  in the
theater  of my faded heart.
Killing me  to live   the shock has left me numb.

Tortures of a sadness  smiles sweet as the kiss
We share that only in my souls bitter reflection.
As the sunrise take's me away to my waking misery.
My days but a marker to my bittersweet end.

A disturbing lack of interest
has risen to the surface
struggling for purpose while
school work seems worthless
unimpressed by the standards set
or perhaps just pensive
wondering where the road leads next
the feeling that textbooks
only hold answers for paper tests
not physical, substantial assessment
That ****** diploma a chain
keeping my brain and body locked
to this spot, this location
when my very essence yerns for motion
for some cosmic lotion to apply
to this burned romantic
helpless, maybe, but awakened
none the less
even if I can't be bothered to
laze over homework
two weeks and it'll be no work
to fall from the sky
back into my old house
and maybe
her
eyes

Inside my body the guilty seeds have rooted through all my veins

and in to my heart

strangling it dead.
                                            
Inside my heart the anger fights to still beat,

no matter the pressure it competes,

its cold because its a zombie heart but it still pumps blood that reaches

my brain.
                                


   Inside my mind is misery,

its been confused so much it yerns to shut off

but somehow it can't,

it won't let me sleep,

too many memories and thoughts eat it
from the inside out

but nevertheless my rotten brain still allows me to have a spirit.
                                    

Inside my soul is death,

the once bright white doves have darkened and can barley lift one wing,

choking on my bodies misfortune,

as I sit so small in this big monstrous world thats poisoning my skin.
        
  My skin is covered in eczema,

my face in blemishes

it coughs on the pollution and cigarette smoke that its too exposed to,

its infected but somehow my eyes still survive on the surface

with it.
                                                        My eyes are worn down

with a astigmatism

from all the rough things I have seen

but they still slow me to see

more.

I'm falling

apart,

I guess you could say that zombies are real,

just not the kind you can see

with your own zombie eyes.

I live to sleep
I sleep to dream
Sewage holes fill kinny bunk port out of the box Mr. Krull yer big headed Joyce fixation lets the dead dogs in leave the dead frogs to fry read a dull heart and mind
Down for the do little sing song hallelujah chorus let the whole world adore us we are the resurrection and you are the night take old children's programming to extremes and brainwash the yellow things
You asked don't tell so I wish you well and this drug you sling is a dangerous thing of letters and numbers all forced into the machine good girl great guns you'll do what I've done
It's a lie, my foot, there's a false ring to it's nose can you be so cavalier about things you don't know is the the grease going to settle and ruin your good clothes who knows Mr. Whitman, who knows
Words they say cut like blades in another setting where the mice eat men and dry ol' John Steinbeck writes with a pen fall out boy fudge to your granny sue I'm sure she'll agree that'll do, that'll do...bartle doo
Put 'em together yourself, old salt, here, every one on 'ems yerns, twist 'em and turn 'em, pick 'em and burn 'em, take a spoon or a spatula whatever you need to turn all this idiocy into a creed
Cut a few out they shouldn't be here what's wrong with the fool who gave 'em the time of day, there's surely a reason but his girl wouldn't say that evil ghost ***** with no reason to stay
That'll do.
Bartle doo.

Fire bright and crackle
Flame up and never change.
Dancing and forever
Burn, Move, Sway.

Distant darkness yerns for
Eye shine far away
Warm heart
Held

she's bent, and broken
soon to be shattered
but she puts on a smile
it's violent and scattered
she gave into the night
but she yerns for the light
but she gives in to the fear
she's afraid
she won't take a chance
if it's not in her plans
so she will never know
how you could help her

At some point you shut down
       In fear of it all
At some point you tremble with pain
       causing you to fall
A glimpse of your past
Awaiting your return
Ignoring it while your flesh still.   Yerns

Dreams of passion everlasting amazing dragons from their baited  breaths love flames fashioned. In all of our days we proclaimed the flame immortal, ceaseless, everlasting. We confessed the light bright and it's warmth ginger. My passions flame still burns for you, even now it yerns for you. Even so it seems your flame has diminished your heart wears disinterest. Once was brilliant pyre that inspired has fallen to ashen embers, a smolder of it's storied former glory. It took sometime to learn, I pray for its return. The world is cold and bitter without your burn. Can a spark rekindle flame, can a Phoenix supplicate the pain? I ask this in your name.

When the burch trees down the lane of old
Lose their leaves as they turn gold
And the wind it blows as winter unfolds
Its you I want with me~
When the seasons are all changing
And the landscapes are rearranging
Most of our friends are strangers
Its you I want with me~
When crystal diamonds of frozen dew
Hang from the burch trees icey blue
And smoke now drifts from our stove flue
Its you I want with me~
When wild bush orchards purple and cream
Grow again along our favourite stream
And the yellow daisies in the sunlight beam
Its you I want with me~
When the valey shadows help form the coming night
And only the moon on high provides some light
And I need someone just to hold me tight
Its you I want with me~
When the burch trees full again piece the sky
And birds within them sing and sigh
And to leave this place Id rather die
Its you I want with me~
When again the mountains show backdrop of winters cold
And the icey blue snow again covers them so bold
And that distant bell in fresh breezes told
Its you I want with me~
And when autumn time once more has been and gone
And seasons return that Ive missed so long
And all the while my heart yerns for your song
Its you I want with me~
Its only you I want with me my love
And for your love I thank God above
We vowed for life as does the dove
Its you I want with me~

Terrence Michael Sutton
original copyright 1969 .. And re arranged 2018

My heart yerns for inspired words.
But I don’t have them.
I could write about my blessings but people only like poetry when it hurts.
I could write about pain but I’m determined to live life like it doesn’t hurt right now.
Even though it’s excruciating.
I feel so much yet have no clue how to express it.

I want to die
To slit my throat
And end it all

There is nothing left
My life has been shattered
My life is in a heap
Of burning rubble

I want to die
To spare others of my meaningless existence

This tortured soul
Yerns to be freed from
This shell of human skin

I want to die
I feel
Alone
Scared
Depressed
All is dark and dreary

I want to die
It seems
No matter how much I care
Everyone still hates me

IT'S YOU I WANT WITH ME .. ( Was asong I'd written )
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When the burch trees down the lane of old
Lose their leaves as they turn gold
And the wind it blows as winter unfolds
Its you I want with me~
When the seasons are all changing
And the landscapes are rearranging
Most of our friends are strangers
Its you I want with me~
When crystal diamonds of frozen dew
Hang from the burch trees icey blue
And smoke now drifts from our stove flue
Its you I want with me~
When wild bush orchards purple and cream
Grow again along our favourite stream
And the yellow daisies in the sunlight beam
Its you I want with me~
When the valey shadows help form the coming night
And only the moon on high provides some light
And I need someone just to hold me tight
Its you I want with me~
When the burch trees full again piece the sky
And birds within them sing and sigh
And to leave this place Id rather die
Its you I want with me~
When again the mountains show backdrop of winters cold
And the icey blue snow again covers them so bold
And that distant bell in fresh breezes told
Its you I want with me~
And when autumn time once more has been and gone
And seasons return that Ive missed so long
And all the while my heart yerns for your song
Its you I want with me~
Its only you I want with me my love
And for your love I thank God above
We vowed for life as does the dove
Its you I want with me~

Terrence Michael Sutton
original copyright 1969 ..