T* hough I know the truth
H urt still lingers in my breath
E mptying out into the street

M other to none, sister to one, daughter to two
O nly one slight problem, I want to be alone with
N othing to bother me, no one to disrupt my
S leepless nightmares, taunting day dreams
T onight I shall not rest until I find a way to
E nd these thoughts, but I will never
R est easy, not until I learn the meaning of peace

W hat have I become anyway?
I s this liar, this thief, this ******,
T he person I've always wanted to
H onor with the title of my name?
I s this black hole swirling inside my chest
N othing more than a shell of a human being?

W hy do I always end up asking the same questions?
I  may never really know who I am
L ike most drifters and loners and
L osers, I may never learn to love myself

N othing is worse than not knowing
E verything there is to know about oneself, it's
V ery unsettling, earth shattering, words don't
E ven make sense, strung together in
R epetitious strings, dangling from the ceiling

S till, a part of me, a very small part
U nderstands that my life isn't really about
B ecoming who I'm meant to be
S ometimes, it's about just learning to
I dentify with the face in the mirror, ignoring the
D enial that seeps through my heart, I know that
E veryone thinks I've lost my head. Well, maybe I have..

You love her
I love you
What's new?

I love you in the dark
Where the shadows hide me
Where you can't find me

It hurts so much you don't even know
When you tell me you love her, more than it shows
You're a gobemouche, can't you see the truth?

Whenever you need me
I'll always be here
Waiting and waiting

for something that might never even come

Wi yer eyes stingin n wet wi tears
N muk bungin up tha nose n ears
N a white rimmed ed where thi's ad thi hat
Up tha floats on't lift like a drownded rat

After twelve hours tha's pretty dun in
Whilst t'other folks as been kippin n dreamin
Tha's bin diggin n drillin like summart daft
Now up tha floats on't hydraulic raft

The cold morn air meks tha lungs urt
Cause tha's bin breathin muk n dirt
Fer nigh on forty years or more
That most folks wudn't ave on't floor

N as tha washes all't muk away
Tha knows thas sum that'll allus stay
N whilst outside tha luks nice n clean
Tha's stuff inside thi th't'll never be seen

Until o course tha's gon n died
N them docter fellers tek a look inside
N in amazement they'll stand n stare
At all that muk th't shudn't be there

N wen tha's ded it'll be nowt new
Not too a bloke what's lived like you
Fer now tha's on'y six feet under
Wen undreds is what thas bin used to

N't Crowner'll say thi ad a natural death
Not like them th't had their last breath
At sixteen, seventeen, twenty or more
When sum big explosions brought ceiling t floor

But a doubt if tha'll think it wer thi turn
As tha lays there nattering t worm
Crawlin in n out o yer ears
Not much t show fer sixtyodd years

Still what else cud you ave dun, that's it
But follow yer old man down pit
A mean even his dad was a facer tha knows
Kem out at thirty wi' ands like claws

Ah well it's time fer sum grub
Then half-a-dozen pints't pub
Wi an hour or two o noonday sun
Then back t wife fer an hour o fun
N be six next morning I'll be feelin well
As I teks yon raft t bowels of 'ell
Thirty shillin a week be summer the reckonin
Ah but then they can't see yon worm beckonin


Remember this is a 'Performance Poem'
and the style of writing acts as a
speech prompt. The accent is loosely
Yorkshire. A 'Crowner 'is an old word
for a Coroner.
I hope you enjoy it.

© David Irwin Phillips 2008

(acrostic)


Mature caring
Overcomes childhood
Trials and all the
Hurt later in life.
Eternal love and
Respect for that very
Special person...

*...MOM!!!

Utter
Saddness
Encompassing me
Stolen soul

Making an
Effigy of me

Why does it
Hurt so much and so
Often

Am I all alone
Racing over a cliff
Even to death

Yet I can't fight
Or run from it or hide
U**nder a mountain

                                                         Leave me be!

This pain, so absolute,
These moments Slowl
y dulled. Losing you h
urt so entirely, I could
n't find my way back.
Each day is final, Cho
king away this failing
strength. It was never
your fault.

The aspiration was to overturn the  
hurt they collected upon my pain,
every time was like an original painting.

Blended with anticipation of seeing the  
last words grieving their deeds. But all
actions speak more than any words. I'm
depleting from their exhausted pleading,
everything is a moment of our dead reflections.

Cleaving the carcass of another addition,  
under the skies will they be food for
thoughts of others to feed upon. A new
slave to the elements, they will decay.

Don't they realize I'm doing a service?
ensuring the blade is fed, steel needs warmth
every time its buried its feels there life elope,
p*enetrating deeper than a soul weeping.

(this thing is a bit wild but I became obbsesed wwith the concept , apoligies if it makes no sense)            

                        Death be proud||du O R pe B hta E d
                               Forever lost||T s O lre VERO f
                      all has said truth||H t URT dia S s A h LL a
ghost magot and buried nun ||n UNDE i R ubdnat O g A m T so H