"perfer" poems
I honestly dont know if you really want me because you love me
or you just want ****** things
You confuse me
You say you love me
but do you really ?
You rather stay doing ***** things then be with me
when I need you
it takes you forever to reply
but I bet if I sent you a ****
you would reply so fast
But I dont know anymore , you say you love me
but do you really love me?
you say you love me
but you dont even want to work things out
but you perfer to do "nasty things"
I dont get it
Just because I love you my heart will do anything to keep you close
for you to text me fast
and call me the cute names that you use to call me
I'll do anything to keep you holding on
or is it my mind playing me this whole time
thinking your holding on when your actually not
for some reason this feeling in the back of my head whispers to me
says "you dont deserve this , move on "
and I push it back into the darkness
maybe...maybe that voice is right
maybe I do need to move on
Even though your here now and closer now
I got what I want
I got you calling me my cute names
and texting me really fast
you telling me you love me
but for some reason I still feel empty
for some reason
I feel more distance
Jul 23, 2017
Jul 23, 2017 at 6:24 PM UTC
Right now I’m struggling with my weight
I honestly hate how I look
I’m always comparing myself to other girls
to the point my feelings get hurt
I don’t have a thigh gap
my ***** are really huge
my stomach sticks out when I sit then hangs when I stand
I can’t wear a pair of jeans without looking like a whale
Sometimes I wish I could cut off my fat
so I can be happy with what I see
I wish I looked like the skinny girls you see all over Tumblr
I sit in the shower and cry
as I tear myself down for an hour
I feel like everyone is disgusted with me
whenever I go out in public
I feel so huge next to anyone
so I perfer to stand by myself
I wish this battle with myself would end
I hate hiding my body
I just wish I was tiny like other girls
so I can stop disgusting everybody
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 8:34 PM UTC
I am the nice girl
the cute girl
the friendly girl
the one who always smiles and asks how people are doing
and doesn’t expect them to ask back
I am the sweet girl
the funny girl
the responsible girl
who takes care of others
because she’s afraid of what her mind will do if she ever decided to let loose
based on what others do
I am the calm girl
the nice girl
the cute girl
the one that feels she cannot accept being called beautiful
because such a word doesn’t seem worthy enough for her
Unlike being called
the loud girl
the annoying girl
the basic girl
all because of how and what i say and act and dress
which makes others think it’s okay
to judge base on words that people say
words to me can be a trick or treat
The treats are the words used to express me so positively
Cute funny nice smart
And the trick by the ones I had called friends
Calling me words that they use to bring me down
Loud annoying basic stupid
the words that we say or put on our brains can affect us everyday
I am the girl they call
cute and nice
Yet no one has ever thought my words would ever have more meaning
Or think twice
Because I have hidden them longer than anyone would ever know
see by the time i was 10
when my older sister
the pretty popular smart girl died
i was left broken down inside
and i ended up being the shy girl
who’s ideal of a friend was her grandma and eating ravioli
and watching tv
the sad girl
that cried each night hoping for such pain to end
Regrets so large and wide that I could never hide
the lonely girl
who had no one to call as friends for her own
the depressed girl
who wanted to runaway
who thought suicide at least more times a day
But never thought to express her pain
See I am not that simple
words do not express me
yet when people describe us we take their words
and use them as our own
words that wrap around us so tightly
that hold us in our hearts and cling to our minds
that we assume we are just the words that they tells us
Make us assume
we can’t be nothing else
simple small words
are what we end taking to be our own
and thinking nothing else
BUT I AM MORE THAN JUST A Nice, cute, SIMPLE MINDED GIRL
I am more than just those little words they throw at me
yet as touching and sincere as those words are
they don’t define me
they are words that can describe but yet when others hear it won’t they just assume the same
They change their blank canvas mind of me into the colors of what people say
making up their minds of me before they even see me
As if by hearing my name the painting in their minds is already created
Being shown too others
See I want to be more than just what others say about me
for i am a woman
who fights for whats right
overthinks,
that makes me sink and swim through the ocean in my mind
but can get to the shore in time
to fully appreciate life
and prove that not everybody is what they say to be
trust me
i used to be just a nice girl
Unlike everyone else
I perfer not to be a
Simply nice woman
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 4:36 PM UTC
black coffee walks alone
closed eyes, avoiding signs
holding love in back pockets
cracking open pens, drink ink
blink: sunlight! it's blinding,
and alright, but I much perfer
darkness.
so many calls that make me
feel small. I don't know what to say,
so I hang up, and hang myself in the
backyard to dry, afraid you might catch
my scent, and run away.
you taste like
flowers, feel the way my lungs do when
it's hard to breathe, feel the way my ears
do when I struggle to hear the mumbled
mess of what you wouldn't dare say straight
forward.
I saw you coming, felt you coming,
lost you, lost myself, removed the sheets,
found someone else. To remove myself,
you hoped, I hope it helped.
bagged in plastic
styrafoam cups, luke warm, but you're warmer.
a charmer, heart farmer.
Welcome home, please
make sure if you leave, it's somewhere better.
Dec 14, 2011
Dec 14, 2011 at 3:55 PM UTC
We used to be in love,
You used to perfer me over anyone.
We used to be close,
We used to always be together.
But now,
You dont talk to me.
But now,
Your not the person you once were.
Your a killer,
Those butterflys i once had?
Yeah.
You killed them.
But truth is,
After everything,
After all this,
I still love you.
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 10:18 AM UTC
I'd
perfer it
If you turned
on your heel and
just walked away
And I'm not 'tired'
I don't 'hate you'
I just can't let
you see
me
cry
I can't let you see
when I feel like dying
I need the quiet
To fix up my feelings
To stitch up my cuts
To fix my heart
With clear plastic tape
because
...
that's
the only
way I can
ever apear
'happy' So
stand
...
far
away
give me
some space
So maybe, I
won't have
to worry,
about the
tears
...
on
my
face
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
Let me hold your hand, for a moment.
It will only take a second.
Please, don't worry about it.
It doesn't mean a thing.
If you would perfer.
I'll take it back
I only
want your
hand.
Sep 12, 2011
Sep 12, 2011 at 9:01 PM UTC
As much as i care
i refuse to let it be in vain
i'd perfer all my feelings to wither
not for the sake of bitterness or in spite
but because i would rather drown than lie in stagnant water
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 5:04 PM UTC
I heard your voice
As you playfully
Hopped by
Not even remotely surprised
As I had fealt your energy near
For the past few days
I knew I'd see you somewhere
I looked at her
The girl you were with
She looked just like me
No reference just a coincidence
She even felt like me
As younger version
As she growled the words
"Man *****
I sighed at you
The way I always do
It's not the right time to tell you
I just smiled at her
Frowned at you
And casually confirmed.
My dear young friend
Lessons on evolution #1:
You have trained yourself
This big indeed to attract a woman
It is widely known that
Women often perfer the alpha male
But consider in to your calculations
That men have evolved to
Protect the mother and the offspring
You do not come off reliable
When it is widely known
That you are in fact a man *****
Evolutionary trait #2:
Women talk
The rootcause for this
Is the safety and quality of
Indeed the offspring.
If you display undesired behavior
You're in danger of never finding a girl.
Because... Women talk.
As nice as I know you are
And as intelligent and kind
That **** doesn't fly with anyone.
Get your **** together.
May 21, 2016
May 21, 2016 at 4:10 PM UTC
we all have that one thing that we don't like
for me it is being with my family when I can't fake my pain
I perfer to keep company with my walls at those times
because I won't get answers back I don't like
and no one is there to interupt me or call me stupid (friend wise)
so isolation is my thing when I hurt
it probally always will be
but I'm not the type to stay there when I'm fine
it is when I hurt too bad
I can't fake it any longer
Oct 4, 2017
Oct 4, 2017 at 2:52 PM UTC
Driving through the desert
not sure where I want to go
all I know is I’m really upset
and I don’t want to go home
I’ve had a really bad week
so much stuff went down
I would perfer to handle my stress alone
so no one will see me frown
Music isn’t helping now
this drive is all I’ve got
the air isn’t on, the windows are up
yet i don’t care if it’s really hot
I’m happiest when I’m driving
maybe it’s the beautiful scenery
maybe at my unknown destination
the fact that nobody knows me is pretty exciting
I’m not worried about anyone hurting me
I’m almost into Vegas
I should stop for a break
but if I do I’ll start crying
and that’s something I can’t take right now
so I’ll keep on driving
I’m not sure where to go
all I know is I’m feeling a little bit better
but I still don’t want to go home
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 3:53 AM UTC
To My Eyes Humanity Is Evil,
To My Eyes I Perfer Them Shut,
To My Eyes My Parents Are The Enemy,
To My Eyes The Tears I Shed Hurt,
To My Eyes I Wish The World Was Different.
But Why So I See This?
Maybe I Am Afraid ToRealize The Good,
When Everything I Know Is Bad.
boldHow Can I Change The World When No One Wants To Die?
Jan 14, 2013
Jan 14, 2013 at 11:15 AM UTC